Another great ebay find

[Ally_Kat]

for the gals and for the guys

[Ally_Kat]

This one was my favorite

I have seen the latest Ebay fad and figured I'd get a piece of the action before it fades away.
Are you tired of your parents/friends teasing you about not having a "special" someone in your life??
Are you bored with your current lifestyle and wish to add some excitement to help pass the time??
WELL... I am offering my services for 1 Month as the FIRST Imaginary Stalker Ex Boyfriend on Ebay!!

My services will include (but may not be limited to):
Emailing you on a daily basis (or more often if you so choose) and asking you where you've been all day and who were you with.
Mailing you 1 letter per week explaining why we shouldn't be apart and what could happen if we stay apart much longer.
"Busting in" on your AIM or Yahoo chat sessions and "flipping out" because your talking to "other guys". (We will have to set something up to work around each others schedules).
You will also receive a special Valentines card w/ a letter proclaiming my "love" for you.
**1 Phone call per week will be included (if you choose), if bidding reaches $50.00 or more**
More details of the "relationship" will be worked out at auctions end..."relationship" will begin as soon as I receive payment (checks held until they clear my bank).
You choose the scenario and I will go along with it...I can be as "mean" as you want or I can be the "shy, obsessive" guy that you never had.
At the end of our "relationship", you may extend the use of my services if so desired for the cost of the winning bid...or you may have one of your friends reserve my services to help them get their parents/friends off their backs as well.


A little about me: (for POLICE Line-up purposes)
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 210 lbs.
Eye/Hair Color: Brown/Brown
Tattoos: 1 "Hatchetman" in straight jacket on right arm.

Now when people ask "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
You can say "Because the last guy I went out with was like a freakin' Stalker...I am afraid to go through that again."
They will say "BULLSH*T!!"
Then you whip out those letters and they read them and go "DAMN!!"....nuff said?!

THE FINE PRINT: By winning this auction, this in no way means that I WILL EVER become your real Stalking Ex-Boyfriend!! Winning bidder will not meet me in person (like you would want to anyway)To ensure that I do not go to prison for the letters that I write you, we will have to work out something that will be signed by you and a witness of your choice that will be in on the "JOKE". (I'm just out to have some fun). At the end of the "relationship", you just tell your friends/family that the police got me and they will never have to lay awake at night wondering if I'm going to show up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, screaming at the top of my lungs for you to come outside. They can now REST again (and they won't BITCH about you not having a Boyfriend either I bet).
Winning bidder please add $5.00 for Postage for letters and "Valentines Card" that will be sent. Payment is due within 10 days of auctions end...please DO NOT bid if you do not intend to pay (I DO have to pay the listing fees and Final Value Fees). SORRY, I do not accept PAYPAL at this time...payment by Money Order/Cashiers Check, Personal Check (will be held until they clear) and WELL CONCEALED cash only.


**Picture posted may be harmful to viewer if viewed for prolonged amount of time...I just know auctions without pictures don't get viewed**




Good Luck and Happy Bidding

[Little Texan]

I can't believe people actually bid on that shit! If I'm going to pay that much money, I want to at least get laid!

[Elitest]

how many did you bid on Ally ?

(j/k)

[Elitest]

he looks a little like Warf...