With Halloween around the corner, it is worthwhile to remember a few
simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE!
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
5. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out.
6. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
7. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to he nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
8. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, etc.
9. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle.
10. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY ROTHTOBER!!!!!
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