Hi Kids. The internet's "hitch1969©" here...
First of all, I'm in a pretty pissed off and depressed mood is why I am writing this thread. Call it yet another chapter in the ongoing battle between the brilliant hitchBRAIN© and the small, yet virile hitchCOCK©. One makes rational and sound decisions but the other does not... and I always end up paying for this.
I gotta tell you that I'm pretty much heart broken these days... And that fuels some pretty fucked up anger, OJ... My personal life is a fucking mess again, I don't know how I do this or quite what it is about me that makes everyone just fucking hate my ass, but alienating people is what I do. I am destined to die alone. Maybe it's my social skills. Perhaps I am offensive and hurt people's feelings. Maybe it's just that I don't function in the world like normal folk and that makes people uneasy. I digress.
This thread is about Sammy Hagar, not hitch1969©. It's a thread about Sammy Hagar in a the Main Forum of The Diamond Motherfuckin David Lee Roth Army. It exists here, mainly for the aforementioned stress in my life, but acts as a reminder to all the PHONEY MOTHERFUCKIN BALONEY pranksters out there who BOUGHT Van Hagar, loved and accepted Van Halen v.2, but would NEVER admit it here. That, to me, gentlemen, is cowardace. Call the hitchMAN many things if you must, but never call me YELLA. I fucking tell the shit like it is. And I see some RedHeads here tonight. You can't fucking hide like some homo in the closet.
I'll be your guide on this journey. It's time to open up and be proud to love Sammy Hagar's Van Halen JUST AS MUCH OR BETTER than David Lee's version. It was never "instead of", it was always "in addition to". I even like the Queery Manbone stuff. Call me crazy. Call me depressed and angry. I don't care... I stand by that shit.
And I know that some of you chuckleheads out there like to see ol' hitch fall in and out of love again and again, pedestaling chicks and throwing all kinds of cash at them and winding up broke and emotionally devastated. I would laugh at me too if I wasn't so fucking bummed out. I mean what kind of moron keeps doing this shit over and over... it's not like I'm a fucking retard and can't learn. I simply chose not to learn. I chose the mistake over and over. It makes my dick happy but I never seem to hear from the guy when my heart is broken and I'm crying myself to sleep wanting to just be dead and at peace. And it never gets any easier... you think it would, you think that you'd develop a thick skin but nah. It actually hurts worse each time, failure after failure.
And most times, I only have myself and my big mouth and stupid behavior to blame. Can I apply for some goverment grant for dudes with a defective social gene? Something's fucking broke on me, man, I am totally serious. Sometimes I strive for self improvement and other times I just get even more motivated towards self destruction.
I don't think that Sammy Hagar or David lee have these sorts of issues, do they?
Fuck no they don't because they have cash which is something that hitch never has. I think that stems from poor vocational choices earlier in my career and a blind adversarial vibe that I create with authority type persons.
I think that my daddy upstairs (no, not "heaven" upstairs, I mean upstairs like I'm 34 and lived in his basement for 6 years) my daddy upstairs said it best when he said, "You're just a fuck up, you'll always be a fuck up, you're never going to do anything with your life".
Maybe that was my sister that said that? I cunt remember. Maybe it was both.
I want this fucking thread STICKIED in this MAIN forum goddammit! It's the only fucking thing in life that I can do well is to post on the fucking internet, and I'm needing some moral support from the team.
and if not, FUCK YOU ALL, I'm gonna go blow my fuckin brains out or something kewl like that. You can all play the Filter song "hey man nice shot" and sing ding dong the hitch is dead!!!
wait, flappo already did that earlier in the week.
ok, the sedatives that Dr. Feelgood gave me are kicking in, so my time here is limited. You can't fight Ambien and Xanax at the same time. Maybe sometimes alone, but that kinda drug cocktail is going to knock you out like Tyson used to before he pussed out and married Robin Givens.
And what an allegory that is. Damn I am sharp with wit. SO that's the lesson: drugs R kewl. make your kids do them, teach them to drink and drive and shoplift and vandalize. You're only a kid once and then life sucks a big fat motherfucking dick.
let me summarize:
-Sammy Hagar is kewl but no one but me will ever admit it
-David Lee is kewl too, but its all you guys talk about
-hitch1969 is depressed, heart broken, and angry.
Yeah.... who fuckin' cares.
lates
=h69=
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