How many Commandments have you broken?

[Figs]

How many o' these have y'all broken, weather you believe in this Shi'ite or not.... I'm not sure these are correct...

Put me down for 7

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1) I am the Lord thy God ... Thou shall have no other gods before me.
2) Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
3) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
4) Honor thy father and thy mother
5) Thou shall not kill.
6) Thou shall not commit adultery.
7) Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
8) Thou shall not covert thy neighbor's house;
9) Thou shall not covert thy neighbor's wife,
10) ....nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

[Figs]

Hey I thought I checked off poll!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[twonabomber]

nine.

and i'm pretty sure it's covet, not covert.

[Figs]

hey, that's right. well it was a copy/paste....

[Figs]

good score by the way!

[Reverberator]

478 or 479 .

Fucking the parrot on the T.V counts , doesn't it ?

[Figs]

absolutey

[LoungeMachine]

6 of 10

I guess that tips the scale towards "Burn in Hell you Sinner" for me....

[Figs]

only if you believe...

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Figs
only if you believe...

I believe in Hell


I've been there.....








It's called Pittsburgh

[Roguesgirl]

Lets just say that I never killed anyone...

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Roguesgirl
Lets just say that I never killed anyone...

Then you're one up on Laura Bush

[Roguesgirl]

Is the commandment only referring to killing humans?

I did put a fire cracker in a frog's mouth back in '76.

[DavidLeeNatra]

Originally posted by Roguesgirl
Lets just say that I never killed anyone...

same for me...think I got lost...and the devil-tattoo on my arm will not be the best key to heaven's door either...

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by twonabomber
nine.

and i'm pretty sure it's covet, not covert.

I thought he meant convert...

It's funny how when Moses got these he was alone in the mountains.

Religion seems to be all about tradition.

Joseph Smith, who formed the mormon religion discovered tablets of gold in Egyptian while he was alone too. He translated them from ancient Egyptian in 1 day and created a religion before an angel conveniently took them back off him.

To any sane person this seems to be as fucking ludicrously weak as you get but maybe that's because this fantasy happened in the 1800s rather than 3000 years ago.

Mohammed was alone too when he was given his enlightenment from god. Funny that. Like how aliens are always interested in abducting people from the Midwest when no witnesses are around. Also that they only started doing this since the 1950s when sci fi films started. Funny that...

Jesus fucking Christ I've just realised I've only broken a couple of those 'commandments' although I'm not sure if syggesting a possible conservatory extension for my next door neighbor counts...

[Little_Skittles]

All 10!!!!!!

[Seshmeister]

At 16?

Ooof!

[Little_Skittles]

i was a very umm devilish child.

[rustoffa]

I thought there was something on the list referring to "sloth"?

When I was in Panama some years back, those fuckers were everywhere.

Crosswalks....fenceposts....you name it.

Really lazy critters.

[Anonymous]

Hey, only 4... going on to 5!

Cheers! :bottle:

[Matt White]

4 of 10.

[Little_Skittles]

Are you guys being honest?

[Matt White]

Completely

[Little_Skittles]

how have you broken so many? i'm sure you've lied at one time wanted your neighbor's wife/or woman, cheated and stole and wished someone dead. Taken the lord's name in vain. Gahh you people are more righteous than me.

[Roguesgirl]

Originally posted by rustoffa
I thought there was something on the list referring to "sloth"?

When I was in Panama some years back, those fuckers were everywhere.

Crosswalks....fenceposts....you name it.

Really lazy critters.

LOL. I think you are thinking of the seven deadly sins.

Check out this bad boy...

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Roguesgirl
LOL. I think you are thinking of the seven deadly sins.

Check out this bad boy...

Tch, yeah... That little fucker's going to hell for sure. Nothing can save him. He has the name of one of the 7 deadly sins.

Maybe ALAN can save him. If the sloth sacrifices himself to HIM. Better that than hell. At least his soul will rest.

Cheers! :bottle:

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Roguesgirl
LOL. I think you are thinking of the seven deadly sins.

Check out this bad boy...

Arrgh....

Yep, that's the dealio.

Man, did you know those fuckers dont urinate?

They just sweat everything out and stink to the high heavens.

Oh crap, I just busted out a parallelium!

[Roguesgirl]

Originally posted by rustoffa

Oh crap, I just busted out a parallelium!

did it hurt?

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Roguesgirl
did it hurt?

A little....I went and found the box of instant heat tape thingys.

Fucking directions are bullshit though.

Like if I read some shit about taping it on the sore spot, I investigate further, cause the OTC directions are for dipshits.

Anyway, I cut the fucking thing open and just applied the stuff in the middle topically.

1...2....3....?????

[twonabomber]

Originally posted by Little_Skittles
Are you guys being honest?

yep. #6 was my favorite.

[kentuckyklira]

I´ve broken all but #5

[Coyote]

Originally posted by Figs


1) I am the Lord thy God ... Thou shall have no other gods before me.
2) Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
3) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
4) Honor thy father and thy mother
5) Thou shall not kill.
6) Thou shall not commit adultery.
7) Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
8) Thou shall not covert thy neighbor's house;
9) Thou shall not covert thy neighbor's wife,
10) ....nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

1) broke
2) broke
3) intact
4) half broke...
5) intact, unless you count insects
6) intact
7) broke
8) done that
9) intact
10) done that

Looks like I'm goin' down...

[DavidLeeNatra]

Originally posted by Coyote
1) broke
2) broke
3) intact
4) half broke...
5) intact, unless you count insects
6) intact
7) broke
8) done that
9) intact
10) done that

Looks like I'm goin' down...

don't worry...you'll meet some cool dudes there, bro

[vanzilla]

George Carlin on why the 10 Commandments should be the 2 Commandments.

I AM THE LORD THY GOD, THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME.

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN.

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH.

Okay, right of the bat, the first three commandments - pure bullshit. "Sabbath day", "Lord's name", "strange gods". Spooky language designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstious mumbo jumbo like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized humans in the 21st century. You throw out the first 3 and you're down to 7.

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER.

This commandment is about obedience and respect for authority; In other words it's simply a device for controlling people. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. They should be earned. They should be based on the parents' (or the aughority figures's) performance. Some parents deserve respect. Most of them don't. Period. We're down to 6.

Now in the intrest of logic - something religion has a relly hard time with - I'm going to skip around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL.

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS.

Stealling and lying. Actually when you think about it, these 2 commandments cover the same sort of behavior: dishonesty. Stealing and lying. So we don't need 2 of them. Instead, we combine these 2 and call it "Thou shalt not be dishonest." Suddenly we're down to 5.

And as long as we're combining commandments I have 2 others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE.

Once again, these 2 prohibit the same sort of behavior; in this case, marital infedelity. The difference between them is that coveting takes place in the mind. And I don't think you should outlaw fantazing about
someone else's wife, otherwise what's a guy gonna think about when he's floggin' his dong?

But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call the commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." Suddenly we're down to 4.

And when you think about it further, honesty and fidelity are actually parts of the same overall value. So, in truth, we could combine the 2 honesty commandments with the 2 fidelity commandments, and using positive language instead of negative, call the whole thing "Thou shalt always be honest and faithful." And now we're down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S GOODS.

This one is just plain stupid. Coveting your neigbor's goods is what keeps the economy going....Coveting creates jobss. Leave it alone.

You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now: the big, combined honesty/fidelity commandment, and the one we haven't mentioned yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL.

Murder. The 5th Commandment. But if you give it a little thought, you realize that religion has never really had a problem with murder. Not really. More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.

To cite a few examples, just think about Irish history, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquistion, our own abortion-doctor killings, and yes, the World Trade Center to see how seriously religious people take Thou Shalt Not Kill. Apparently to religious folks - especially the truly devout - murder is negotiable. It just depends on who's doing the killing and who's getting killed.

And so, with all of this in mind folks, I offer you my revised list of the 2 Commandments:

First: THOU SHALT ALWAYS BE HONEST AND FAITHFUL, ESPECIALLY TO THE PROVIDER OF THY NOOKIE.

And second: THOU SHALT TRY REAL HARD NOT TO KILL ANYONE, UNLESS, OF COURSE, THEY PRAY TO A DIFFERENT INVISIBLE AVENGER THAN THE ONE YOU PRAY TO.

Two is all you need folks. Moses could've carried them down the hill in his pocket. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in his courthouse lobby. As long has he included one additional commandment:

THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF!!!

- Taken from When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

I think that says it all.

[Little_Skittles]

vanzilla, that is the stupidest most idiotic thing i've ever heard, god wants us to spread his word, not keep it to ourselves. You need jesus bro.

[Coyote]

Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
don't worry...you'll meet some cool dudes there, bro

I know. That, plus I'll be able to play pool, too.

[twonabomber]

Originally posted by Little_Skittles
You need jesus bro.

speak for yourself. i'm doin' pretty well without him.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Figs
How many o' these have y'all broken, weather you believe in this Shi'ite or not.... I'm not sure these are correct...

Put me down for 7

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

1) I am the Lord thy God ... Thou shall have no other gods before me.
2) Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
3) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
4) Honor thy father and thy mother
5) Thou shall not kill.
6) Thou shall not commit adultery.
7) Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
8) Thou shall not covert thy neighbor's house;
9) Thou shall not covert thy neighbor's wife,
10) ....nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

It's not "covert"!!!

It's "covet"!!!

I've broken them all. Anyone who says otherwise I cast doubts upon.

It's not the mistake that matters, it's whether you try to fix it and yourself afterwards.

[Little_Skittles]

Originally posted by twonabomber
speak for yourself. i'm doin' pretty well without him.

How old are you right now add 100 years how old will you be? Where will you be. One day we're going to stop time and step into eternity. Hell isn't a fun place to be. You may think it is but you will reap what you sow.

[twonabomber]

the people who say hell isn't a fun place to be are the last people i'd take any advice from.