The Worst Pick Up Lines...That Actually Worked

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  • Northern Girl
    Full Member Status

    • Jan 2004
    • 3958

    The Worst Pick Up Lines...That Actually Worked

    Happen magazine chooses the worst pick-up lines...that ever worked! These seemingly lame come-ons actually charmed women. Just goes to show you, romance is always full of surprises. Read on and pick up an idea or two.

    The Corniest Line Ever Award
    "This guy who was so not my style came over to me and my friends and asked: 'Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?' We said no and kept walking, and then he said, 'Well, it's enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Brian.' We all cracked up and kept talking to him." —Charity, 29, Cincinnati, OH

    The Artistic License Award
    "I was shooting pool with friends, and some guys offered us a friendly challenge. Midway through the game, one of them looked at me and said, 'Do you remember Crayola crayons? Well, they used to have this color called Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color, and your eyes are actually Blizzard Blue.' I thought it was so cute-he had me right there." —Erica, 21, Brunswick, OH

    The Balls of Steel Award
    "I was at an office party when a guest of a coworker introduced himself and said, 'Blueberries or strawberries?' Confused, I asked what he meant, and he replied, 'I just want to know what kind of pancakes to make you in the morning.' He said it with such a straight face that it was like a scene in a funny movie. I didn't eat breakfast with him, but I did give him my number." —Jan, 33, Cleveland, OH

    The Dumb and Dumber Award
    "This random guy came up to me at a party, looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster.' I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but I thought it was funny and I liked how unusual it was. It got us talking, trying to figure out what that line meant!" —Holly, 19, Milford, OH

    The Mama's Boy Award
    "I was at a local bar one night, and this guy sat next to me and said, 'Would it freak you out if I said that I've already told my mother about you?' I said, 'No, why?' Then he told me that he'd actually stepped outside, called his mother and asked her how to approach me. I thought it was adorable that he was a mama's boy." —Michelle, 25, Erie, PA

    The Oddest Use of a Parking Space Award
    "I fought tooth and nail with a guy over a parking space and won. When I came back out to my car, there was a note on it that said, 'I like your style. Call me.' It was very unexpected, and I loved the approach. See, it pays to be a lover and a fighter." —Lynn, 36, Boston, MA

    The Best Brown-Nosing Award
    "This poker party I was at started to get very crowded. As a group of girls walked in, this guy came up behind me and said, 'I think you're going to be asked to leave soon. You're so pretty, you're putting all the other women to shame.' I tend to be very shy, so his compliment really helped crack my shell." —Katie, 31, Chicago, IL

    The Let-Me-Count-The-Ways Award
    "I first met my current boyfriend at a bar, and after we introduced ourselves, he said, 'I adore you.' He then drunkenly went on to catalog why he adored me—from the way I ordered drinks to the way I brushed hair out of my eyes. It was sort of scary that he'd been watching me, but what took it out of stalker mode and made it flattering was his sweetness and sincerity." —Melissa, 27, Brooklyn, NY
    Same ole song and dance...
  • Cathedral
    ROTH ARMY ELITE
    • Jan 2004
    • 6621

    #2
    Re: The Worst Pick Up Lines...That Actually Worked

    Originally posted by Northern Girl

    The Dumb and Dumber Award
    "This random guy came up to me at a party, looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster.' I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but I thought it was funny and I liked how unusual it was. It got us talking, trying to figure out what that line meant!" —Holly, 19, Milford, OH

    That line actually makes sense in Milford, i live 20 minutes away from there. Up until about 10 years ago it was everything you could ever imagine a Trailer Park would or should be, the place was dominated by Trailer Parks.
    In the 80's me and the boys used to prowl them for pussy and never came back empty handed.
    A dude in a bitchin Trans Am basically had his pick.
    I liken it to going to the animal shelter and having all the animals climb all over each other to get your attention, lol.

    "Sexier than socks on a rooster" is slang for "If I were a hen, you be civilized by wearing socks".

    My line was the "Anti-Line" approach.
    I just walk up and say, "Hello, How are you?"
    On occasion, if she was a smart ass, the woman would reply, "Wow, great pcikup line, did you work on that one long?", or something similar in tone.

    My reply would be swift and to the point, "Why play games? My ability to bullshit you shouldn't be the determining factor as to if you will talk to me or not, unless you like being lied to".
    8 times out of 10 it made them think, and then i follow up with, "Can i get you a drink?"

    If she agrees then Cat's getting some tonight, guarenteed.
    If she doesn't, oh well, take care, darlin.

    I have found that you attract more bee's with honey than you do vinegar, but there are times when humor will get you farther than intelligence, especially with a dizzy bitch, and i avoid those types because i have found that a majority of them are dealing with an STD of some sort.
    Easy, is a taboo in my humbled opinion and my dick does not get thrown on any crap tables.

    Hard to get is sometimes a good inidcator of low mileage....
    It's a shame chicks don't come with a Ho-dometer, it would have saved me lots of time in my prime.
    Last edited by Cathedral; 05-08-2005, 10:53 AM.

    Comment

    • bueno bob
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • Jul 2004
      • 22942

      #3
      My worst pick up line that actually worked?

      "Hi...what's your name...nice to meet you Jessica, I'm Bob...so listen, um...do you wanna go fuck tonight? I know I'd like to, how about you?"

      Half an hour later and GUESS WHAT?

      Knock da bootz!
      Twistin' by the pool.

      Comment

      • Hardrock69
        DIAMOND STATUS
        • Feb 2005
        • 21888

        #4
        That DOES work.

        Granted, there is usually a large percentage of chicks who either a)walk away, b) Say "Fuck OFF" and walk away, or c) Slap your face while saying "Fuck Off ASSHOLE" and then walking away.

        But there is always the small percentage of chicks where they see the logic, appreciate the straight up approach, and are looking to fuck as well, so there ya go!

        Back in about 1982 I was living in Dallas working with a band, and my roommatre (who was the singer) and two of his friends and I went to Cardi's, which was THE rock club to go to in Dallas.

        At the end of the night, one guy had pulled this chick, and we headed out to his apartment where our cars were. It was about a 40 minute drive, and one guy was driving, the chick was next to him, and they guy who had pulled here was on the passenger side. My other friend and I were in the back seat. After a few minutes, my friend squirmed around a bit and then said to the chick "Wanna suck it?". He had apprently pulled his dick out...

        The chick began to protest, and then he said "Well this is what you wanted to do anyway, isn't it?"

        She paused for a moment before answering "Well, yeah...." So next thing ya know she was sucking his dick as we were driving down the freeway....my friend and I in the back seat were dying trying to keep from busting up laughing...

        We got back to his place, said our goodbyes and went home. Next day my roommate called him up, and yes that chick was one hot firecracker!!!

        Comment

        • bueno bob
          DIAMOND STATUS
          • Jul 2004
          • 22942

          #5
          It's amazing how well honesty can work for you sometimes. Now, granted, my direct approach hasn't ALWAYS worked, and I haven't always used it, but I can really only think of maybe three times that it hasn't. I haven't ever been slapped or told to fuck off, either, just a "God, you're rude!" sort of response, to which I've replied "Hey, no offense - nothing ventured, nothing gained, and that's really why I'm out with you anyway, I just figured I'd save us some time. But, now that it's out of the way and we know exactly where we're going with this date, do you wanna grab something to eat or do you just wanna call it a night?", and they've all been cool with that.

          Honestly...I don't think I've EVER been slapped by any girl, now that I think of it...hmm...as much of a pig as I am, you'd have thought it would have happened by now...strange.
          Twistin' by the pool.

          Comment

          • Ally_Kat
            ROTH ARMY SUPREME
            • Jan 2004
            • 7612

            #6
            Re: The Worst Pick Up Lines...That Actually Worked

            Originally posted by Northern Girl
            The Mama's Boy Award
            "I was at a local bar one night, and this guy sat next to me and said, 'Would it freak you out if I said that I've already told my mother about you?' I said, 'No, why?' Then he told me that he'd actually stepped outside, called his mother and asked her how to approach me. I thought it was adorable that he was a mama's boy." —Michelle, 25, Erie, PA

            I must admit that I would bite that line, too.
            Roth Army Militia

            Comment

            • LadyTudor2711
              Head Fluffer
              • Sep 2004
              • 222

              #7
              The worst pick up line I have ever heard was "You smell like my ex-wife." I replied, "I beg your pardon." He told me he liked Chanel No.5., which is what I wear.

              Couldn't he have said it another way? He did not get lucky with me that night, needless to say. lol.

              Best,

              LT

              Comment

              • Roguesgirl
                Veteran
                • Jan 2005
                • 1702

                #8
                He walked up to me and pointed to his friend across the bar and said "see my friend over there, he wants to know if you think I'm cute".

                I thought he was just adorable.
                TLC
                You KNOW I got the blues.
                Can you dig it?
                Welcome to Massachusetts. Now get the FUCK out of my way!

                Comment

                • LadyTudor2711
                  Head Fluffer
                  • Sep 2004
                  • 222

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Roguesgirl
                  He walked up to me and pointed to his friend across the bar and said "see my friend over there, he wants to know if you think I'm cute".

                  I thought he was just adorable.

                  RG,

                  That was cute, did you let him buy you a drink?

                  LT

                  Comment

                  • Roguesgirl
                    Veteran
                    • Jan 2005
                    • 1702

                    #10
                    The worst one was a night when I was wearing my 3" heels which put me at about 6' tall. This guy was about 5'3" and he commented on how tall I was and told me that he wanted to climb me like a tree.

                    I was like WTF? :confused:
                    TLC
                    You KNOW I got the blues.
                    Can you dig it?
                    Welcome to Massachusetts. Now get the FUCK out of my way!

                    Comment

                    • Roguesgirl
                      Veteran
                      • Jan 2005
                      • 1702

                      #11
                      Originally posted by LadyTudor2711
                      RG,

                      That was cute, did you let him buy you a drink?

                      LT
                      and then some

                      he was a doll
                      TLC
                      You KNOW I got the blues.
                      Can you dig it?
                      Welcome to Massachusetts. Now get the FUCK out of my way!

                      Comment

                      • LadyTudor2711
                        Head Fluffer
                        • Sep 2004
                        • 222

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Roguesgirl
                        The worst one was a night when I was wearing my 3" heels which put me at about 6' tall. This guy was about 5'3" and he commented on how tall I was and told me that he wanted to climb me like a tree.

                        I was like WTF? :confused:
                        RG,

                        The girls and I have this joke with "little guys". I am 5'8 barefoot and can be 6 feet in heels.

                        Can I climb you like a tree? WTF? Did you kick him in the stomach? lol...

                        little guys suck and are intimidated my tall women. I fell like I should reach down and pick them up. LOL.

                        Best,

                        LT

                        Comment

                        • Dan
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 12194

                          #13
                          You name must be Candy,cos you look so sweet.
                          First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

                          Comment

                          • rustoffa
                            ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                            • Jan 2004
                            • 8959

                            #14
                            "Excuse me, I think I just backed into your car....completely my fault."

                            Comment

                            • Northern Girl
                              Full Member Status

                              • Jan 2004
                              • 3958

                              #15
                              Scuse me, but I'm new in town
                              I was wonderin' if I could get directions to your place? ~ DLR



                              Oh yeah, it worked like a charm.
                              Same ole song and dance...

                              Comment

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