a few questions about Jesus....

[4rchang3l]

1) how is it that 'Joseph' has no problem with 'Mary' not wanting to obey Jewish law by consumating her marriage to her husband?
2) (here is where it gets better) How is it that Joseph actually believes that when his 'virgin bride' becomes pregnant, that instead of thinking that it was 'Saul down the street'? that it was 'God' who f*cked his wife!
3) why...(if your still buying this crap) does God defy The 7th Commandment of "Thou shall not commit adultery" by scr3wing another man's wife, instead of just scr3wing a single v1rgin?
4) after Jesus is born, what did he do for 33 years before those pesky Jews gave him up to those Romans? he never had an erection or had s3x with anyone....ever?!
enquiring minds want to n03!
5) why is 'mary magdeline' called a wh0re in the new testament?
6) why did it take the christians 350 years after he died (mind you, there were no printing press's unill Guttenberg invented it many years later) to acknowledge 'Jesus' as the son of God?
7) why is 'Ezekial', who was a homeless man who ate his own feces, regarded as a prophet who spoke the word of God?!
does that little voice in the back of your mind not ask that if Ezekial was alive today and running around as a homeless guy and eating his own poop if just maybe he would not be in the loony bin on heavy psych-meds?
dont believe me?
ask your priest if i'm lying.
8 ) why does the Catholic church subscribe to a 'new' testatament that was authored by a pagan! king named Constantine.
9) why do they celebrate 'Easter' on the pagan holiday of 'Ostara' which is the spring solstice and the birth of 'Jesus'(which nobody actually knows when it happened) on the pagan holiday of 'Yule' which is the winter(death) solstice?

so many questions....so few answers.
something to think about.
Happy Passover and L'Chaim!-j :confused:

[Blackflag]

Without reading the details of each of your inane questions, it seems like most of them can be clear up by pointing out that Mary and Joseph were not married at the time of His conception. Might want to hit the books.

He had only good things to say, good advice for anybody regardless of religion, and only a fool looks for trivial little ways to undermine His teachings.

[Ally_Kat]

If you want to know so bad, why are you asking on a DLR website? Also, some of your questions assume a lot, like Mary Magdeline was not called a whore in the Bible. This is why you have debate on whether she was Jesus' wife or a female disciple, and all that. The notion of her being a whore is because there is an account of Jesus healing demons from a woman right before she is introduced and some people interpret that to be Mary.

Even if you don't want to believe Jesus was the Son of God, He's got some good teachings that are good for everybody, like Blagflag said.

You don't see any of us Christians insulting your Holy day. Hell, Jesus was Jewish, too.

[GAR]

Sesh keeps trying with eyes that do not see and ears that won't hear.

[bueno bob]

Re: a few questions about Jesus....

Originally posted by 4rchang3l
1) how is it that 'Joseph' has no problem with 'Mary' not wanting to obey Jewish law by consumating her marriage to her husband?
2) (here is where it gets better) How is it that Joseph actually believes that when his 'virgin bride' becomes pregnant, that instead of thinking that it was 'Saul down the street'? that it was 'God' who f*cked his wife!
3) why...(if your still buying this crap) does God defy The 7th Commandment of "Thou shall not commit adultery" by scr3wing another man's wife, instead of just scr3wing a single v1rgin?
4) after Jesus is born, what did he do for 33 years before those pesky Jews gave him up to those Romans? he never had an erection or had s3x with anyone....ever?!
enquiring minds want to n03!
5) why is 'mary magdeline' called a wh0re in the new testament?
6) why did it take the christians 350 years after he died (mind you, there were no printing press's unill Guttenberg invented it many years later) to acknowledge 'Jesus' as the son of God?
7) why is 'Ezekial', who was a homeless man who ate his own feces, regarded as a prophet who spoke the word of God?!
does that little voice in the back of your mind not ask that if Ezekial was alive today and running around as a homeless guy and eating his own poop if just maybe he would not be in the loony bin on heavy psych-meds?
dont believe me?
ask your priest if i'm lying.
8 ) why does the Catholic church subscribe to a 'new' testatament that was authored by a pagan! king named Constantine.
9) why do they celebrate 'Easter' on the pagan holiday of 'Ostara' which is the spring solstice and the birth of 'Jesus'(which nobody actually knows when it happened) on the pagan holiday of 'Yule' which is the winter(death) solstice?

so many questions....so few answers.
something to think about.
Happy Passover and L'Chaim!-j :confused:

HERE'S THE BEST QUESTION YET:

WHY HAVE YOU NOT BOWED YOUR KNEE TO ALAN THE PANTHER?!?

[Don Corleone]

A lot of your questions have answers of sorts in the bible. However remember this - a group of Greek priests decided what was going to be in the bible, and what wasn't back in the 4th century. A whole testament was destroyed by one of these priest for what it contained.

Now remember this: In the 4th Century the Roman Empire was split into 2 halfs - The Western Empire which was about to fall, and the Eastern Empire. Woman held no positions of authority in either half of the empire. Now if there's writing to say Mary Magdeline was a high priestess (not uncommon in Jesus's day), how big a threat would priests of latter days of the empire find that?

[sagebrush]

Originally posted by 4rchang3l
1) how is it that 'Joseph' has no problem with 'Mary' not wanting to obey Jewish law by consumating her marriage to her husband?
2) (here is where it gets better) How is it that Joseph actually believes that when his 'virgin bride' becomes pregnant, that instead of thinking that it was 'Saul down the street'? that it was 'God' who f*cked his wife!
3) why...(if your still buying this crap) does God defy The 7th Commandment of "Thou shall not commit adultery" by scr3wing another man's wife, instead of just scr3wing a single v1rgin?
4) after Jesus is born, what did he do for 33 years before those pesky Jews gave him up to those Romans? he never had an erection or had s3x with anyone....ever?!
enquiring minds want to n03!
5) why is 'mary magdeline' called a wh0re in the new testament?
6) why did it take the christians 350 years after he died (mind you, there were no printing press's unill Guttenberg invented it many years later) to acknowledge 'Jesus' as the son of God?
7) why is 'Ezekial', who was a homeless man who ate his own feces, regarded as a prophet who spoke the word of God?!
does that little voice in the back of your mind not ask that if Ezekial was alive today and running around as a homeless guy and eating his own poop if just maybe he would not be in the loony bin on heavy psych-meds?
dont believe me?
ask your priest if i'm lying.
8 ) why does the Catholic church subscribe to a 'new' testatament that was authored by a pagan! king named Constantine.
9) why do they celebrate 'Easter' on the pagan holiday of 'Ostara' which is the spring solstice and the birth of 'Jesus'(which nobody actually knows when it happened) on the pagan holiday of 'Yule' which is the winter(death) solstice?

so many questions....so few answers.
something to think about.
Happy Passover and L'Chaim!-j :confused:

Hay don't i know you ? didn't i kick your ass out of my yard for trying to give me some books ? If you want to know stuff read the bible , and if i remember right people celebrate easter to remember that christ died on the cross and after 3 days he arose from the grave .defeating death , hell and the grave and making a way for people like us ( the evil on earth ) to go to heaven .

[bueno bob]

That whole "resurrection" thing is all fine and dandy, I guess, but did you know that when ALAN THE PANTHER speaks you can actually HEAR his capitals? It's true.

Not only that, but he conquered Brazil once.

[bueno bob]

I just can't understand why more people don't latch on to ALAN THE PANTHER and grab it again and again.

Don't they want LARG???

[bueno bob]

It's a hell of a lot better than being cast away from the refrigerator on top of Mount Hessian down to the bottom of the bottomless pits of Larglessness for eternity!

CONVERT NOW! PRAISE ALAN!

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!

[Coyote]

Re: a few questions about Jesus....

Originally posted by 4rchang3l
1) how is it that 'Joseph' has no problem with 'Mary' not wanting to obey Jewish law by consumating her marriage to her husband?
2) (here is where it gets better) How is it that Joseph actually believes that when his 'virgin bride' becomes pregnant, that instead of thinking that it was 'Saul down the street'? that it was 'God' who f*cked his wife!
3) why...(if your still buying this crap) does God defy The 7th Commandment of "Thou shall not commit adultery" by scr3wing another man's wife, instead of just scr3wing a single v1rgin?
4) after Jesus is born, what did he do for 33 years before those pesky Jews gave him up to those Romans? he never had an erection or had s3x with anyone....ever?!
enquiring minds want to n03!
5) why is 'mary magdeline' called a wh0re in the new testament?
6) why did it take the christians 350 years after he died (mind you, there were no printing press's unill Guttenberg invented it many years later) to acknowledge 'Jesus' as the son of God?
7) why is 'Ezekial', who was a homeless man who ate his own feces, regarded as a prophet who spoke the word of God?!
does that little voice in the back of your mind not ask that if Ezekial was alive today and running around as a homeless guy and eating his own poop if just maybe he would not be in the loony bin on heavy psych-meds?
dont believe me?
ask your priest if i'm lying.
8 ) why does the Catholic church subscribe to a 'new' testatament that was authored by a pagan! king named Constantine.
9) why do they celebrate 'Easter' on the pagan holiday of 'Ostara' which is the spring solstice and the birth of 'Jesus'(which nobody actually knows when it happened) on the pagan holiday of 'Yule' which is the winter(death) solstice?

so many questions....so few answers.
something to think about.
Happy Passover and L'Chaim!-j :confused:

Here's a better one:
Is it all just one big hoax?

Think about it.

[bueno bob]

Praise Alan.

[bueno bob]

It is written:

"Yes, and verily did the Hummingbirds of Helgedazh try to invade ALAN'S solar system and threaten His Larg and His people's Larg; but verily were they cut down with massive wounds and contusions! Yea, there was bleeding from them, and gnashing of teeth and cries of sadness and beggings for mercy, but the Larg of ALAN would not be stopped, as the killing frenzy was upon Him; ALAN did smite them, one by one, saving His people from death at their hands."

Alan 64:20

[bueno bob]

Alan's given SO MUCH for you; isn't it time you gave your faith to the Panther?

Don't fuck with the best. Don't fuck with Alan the Panther.

Hail Alan!

[bueno bob]

Alan the Panther says, "It's all up to you. Peanuts are grate, and have a high nutritional content. I like peanuts; I rather like them a lot. Join Me under the tree of Larg. Or else there'll be no peanuts for you."