Rattlesnake v/s Lawnmower: Who ya got?

[rustoffa]

So I was busy trying to get ready for a graduation ceremony earlier, and got a call from my neighbor. She informed me that there was a small copperhead in her front yard, and her cats were about to die or some shit. I looked out the window and noticed a small cuntregation of neighborhood kids looking @ a few cats in her yard. Being in somewhat of a hurry, I told her I'd shoot it, and to give me a second to procure my x-pensive BINELLI. She freaks the fuck out, and tells me not to bring any guns out because of the kids.

It took me like half-of-a-pissed-off-second to go crank my self-propelled TORO up!

In retrospect, the mower was the perfect deal as it ran the cats off halfway across the street, and the stupid fucking kids had no idea about my encroaching FINAL SOLUTION.

It's kind of funny, when the TORO hit the fucking thing via my half-assed wind sprint, it just shut off....

Yeesh....I better empty the bag tomorrow.

[LoungeMachine]

Send the bag to Doug T.

It's his B-Day.

He can make soup.

[FORD]

I'd forward this method of snake handling to my relatives in Arizona, except none of them own lawnmowers. Or lawns for that matter, at least not how they are conventionally described.

[LoungeMachine]

It aint the snakes down there, as much as the Scorps you want to watch for....

Little fucking buggers will crawl right up your leg.


I'm just disappointed Stoff didn't "accidently" Toroize the kitty as well.....

Feline Frappe !!!

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by FORD
I'd forward this method of snake handling to my relatives in Arizona, except none of them own lawnmowers. Or lawns for that matter, at least not how they are conventionally described.

"They" have rattlesnake roundups' a little further south from here. What a bunch of dipshits. Rattlesnake behavior has been beaten to death....a shovel works GRATE. What I really want to see is a COTTONMOUTH roundup. Like those same dipshits diving into the ALTAMAHA river near EVERETT with their stupid fucking lasso sticks.

[ashstralia]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
I'm just disappointed Stoff didn't "accidently" Toroize the kitty as well.....
Feline Frappe !!!

lounge is a CAT HATER!
CAT HATER!CAT HATER!

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by ashstralia
lounge is a CAT HATER!
CAT HATER!CAT HATER!

I can understand him pretty well.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Douglas T.]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
Send the bag to Doug T.

It's his B-Day.

He can make soup.

Thanks for the jester Lounge! However Battlesnakes are best served as a patte on a cracker!

[FORD]

Geezus :eek:

It's a fucking snake orgy in there!

[Douglas T.]

Typical den of brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and whatnot! when I was about nine we was clearing property for our new house and there was a den had to taken care of! My dad was a sherriff so I might have said "pull your cruiser up and get on the horn ... tell 'em to come out with their hands up!" What happened next was ... the stand of palmettos which house the slithering bunch was drenched with gasoline and lit up! About ten of them creeped out for a beheading but about 25 where found cooked! One was about 8 ft. and about as fat as a football! That musta been mamma!

[Flash Bastard]

Good thinking, Russ.

Too bad you chopped the little bastard to smithereens because rattlesnake is fan-fucking-tastic deep fried in batter.

[Douglas T.]

Might as well throw in some chomp chomp tail and make it a combo platter!

[Flash Bastard]

Originally posted by Douglas T.
Might as well throw in some chomp chomp tail and make it a combo platter!

Do you mean alligator?

Yes, that stuff is fucking killer too.

My dad was a bit of an outdoorsman, so was his father. Growing up I was exposed to lots of different game meat, from antelope to zebra.

The only one I didn't really care for was moose. It was quite tough and gamey tasting.

My preference lies somewhere between rattlesnake and caribou.

[Flash Bastard]

WOW! Nice pic Doug. Didn't see it earlier because I'm on a shitty computer in a bass-ackward country.

[Nitro Express]

All I know is when you play golf in Florida and suck at it, you spend a lot of time in the swamp, grass, and trees with the damn alligators and snakes. I found a six iron works well on a snake head.

[Ozzy Fudd]

Man another Classic from rustoffa, Brother you should get a thread going call it the Best of rustoffa and sticky the thing, and just keep puttin your journeys in it cuz I'm tellin ya some of the shit that you seem to always have happen to ya cracks us all up ....then when we need the laugh we.....ok I cant find those fuckin posts. lol...think about it will ya.

[Hardrock69]

When I lived in L.A. once upon a time, I had a short stint doing aircraft structural assembly in Sun Valley.

I noticed a co-worker had 2 or 3 scorpions in some water in a jar.

He said he captured them inside the building when he came in to work in the morning.

Fortunately I never had to deal with them personally.

[Loons The Great]

Rattlesnake Shake--Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac

[thome]

Geez a lawn mower could have cut out the fang and venom sak and sent it flying like a syringe at Courtney holes purse inspection at
her parole meeting.

Stick with a hoe, shiiiieeeiit!

[rustoffa]

I know what King, Garter, and Brown snakes' look like and leave 'em alone. Other than that, they can all go to hell.

Got bit by one of these some years back.....water moccasin. I didn't get to kill that bastard, and unrelenting bias has followed me ever since.