Wanted: Hot, 40ish rich guy to whisk me away from this banal existance.

[SensibleShoes]

Times being what they are, and money being what it is, outrageous options for finishing out life on this planet are crossing my mind.

In spite of the title, Mr. White Horse ain't showing up any time soon. And I'm starting to swallow the idea that I will probably have to support myself for the rest of my days. What Shoes is doin' now just ain't cutting it.

So, (assuming none of you fit the description above and have a hankering to set Shoes up in a European villa) I am looking for ideas to set up my retirement. The simple concept of getting a better paying job just ain't the solution here. I need something insane, lucrative and guaranteed to leave me in a position to stop working for good within - oh say - 2 months.

Legal, illegal, who cares? I have a few outrageous concepts of my own, of course, and please refrain from tossing out the "Granny Porn" idea, it's already been cuntsidered and rejected.

[Guitar Shark]

This is a hilarious thread!

[Ozzy Fudd]

Originally posted by SensibleShoes
Wanted: Hot, 40ish rich guy to whisk me away from this banal existance.

And 16 will get ya 20

[Little Texan]

How bout a not so hot, 29ish dirt poor guy that lives paycheck to paycheck? I don't know about a European villa, but I could set you up in a travel camper behind my old, run down trailer house in rural East Texas!

[ThrillsNSpills]

Originally posted by SensibleShoes
And I'm starting to swallow...

Well, that's a start.

[blonddgirl777]

Some of the local papers have ads. in their personnal called: "Arrangments"...
And I used to read them for fun (in S-F).
Some of them where exaclty what you're looking for! But make sure you pick a paper in a rich city
(like S-F, L-A or N-Y etc...)

If you're lucky, the guy won't be butt ugly and nice and you can have fun!

A good friend of mine did the Anna Nicole Smith deal (but the guy is 48, not 90)...
She never found true love in her life so she finds that O.K. because he really puts her on a pedestal.
But I have to say that she does, cheat on him with a hot stud...

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by Little Texan
How bout a not so hot, 29ish dirt poor guy that lives paycheck to paycheck? I don't know about a European villa, but I could set you up in a travel camper behind my old, run down trailer house in rural East Texas!

With those qualifications...
You BETTER be good in bed!
L.O.L.

[thome]

Find a addiction .Then others don't matter.Become a alcoholic.
Use drugs as a tool to cope with reality.Never face the loneliness head on and deal with it.Cop out every chance you get.

But get up and go to work every day.

It worked for me and i would reccomend it .

My life is ecxelent now, nothing has really changed and i still cannot splel corectly.

But at least i be happy.

[SensibleShoes]

LMMFAO!!!!!

You guys made me laugh anyway, especially Ozzy who still believes I am 16.

Clue for Ozzy: Nobody gets this jaded in their teens. Or mentions Granny Porn.

Blonddgirl: Re: the anna nicole smith friend? Her "old man" is younger than me.

Thrills: Babe I've ALWAYS swallowed. Is that too much information?

Little Texan: It sounds like that even in your palatial surroundings, I'd STILL be the other woman!!!!! But 29???? Hm.........have to think about that.......

maybe I'll start a brothel with all the Rothbroads.

[SensibleShoes]

Oh the addiction! I forgot that one -

Isn't this place an addiction?

I'll gladly go to work everyday - just not to this job.

[twonabomber]

40ish? damn, i'm too young.

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by SensibleShoes
... maybe I'll start a brothel with all the Rothbroads.

Becoming a "Madame"...
What a way to make great money!
L.O.L.

At least, you know for sure you'll have lots of Rothdudes customers!

[Ozzy Fudd]

Originally posted by SensibleShoes
LMMFAO!!!!!

You guys made me laugh anyway, especially Ozzy who still believes I am 16.
Clue for Ozzy: Nobody gets this jaded in their teens. Or mentions Granny Porn.

I knew that...lmao, christ sakes cant i just be funny. i know your 40ish

Originally posted by Ozzy Fudd
I know your 40ish

Whoops did i say that....?
See now i'm a asshole

[Figs]

Alas, I doubt I can meet the money qualification, but you have come to the right board. Most classic VH fans are around 40 now, and about half of the people here are rich. So good luck!

[binnie]

Seriously, a plan for retirment would be to get a property with a mortgage and rent it out.

That way by the time you retire then you will have a lot of collateral.

(brothel idea seems pretty good though)

As for the white guy, rich and fortyish.

Sorry, I'm a poor academic and no where near 40......

[Little Texan]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
With those qualifications...
You BETTER be good in bed!
L.O.L.

I've been told I am.

[SensibleShoes]

Landlord. Hmmmm. I did that once. Made a nice chunk of change, or should I say equity - and then lost it all in the divorce.

Never think the men are the only ones who get screwed.

[Coyote]

Start a religion. It worked for that L. Ron character...

[SoCalChelle]

Yeah, start your own religion AND a brothel....instead of nuns, you have hookers. They spread the gospel and collect the offering. Perfect.

[binnie]

Originally posted by SoCalChelle
Yeah, start your own religion AND a brothel....instead of nuns, you have hookers. They spread the gospel and collect the offering. Perfect.

Yep, I would be your first disciple!

[bastardog]

I'd recomend you the religion idea as socalchelle explain it.
all you have to say is "last nigth in my dreams God gave me a revelation...." then pay some money to a "crack hooker" (but that are like 23 with nice and clean body) to say you heal her from addiction and streets....etc., etc.
A new cult is born

[bastardog]

I will be your second disciple as Binnie got first

[SensibleShoes]

Repent ye sinners! Bring your sins to the house of Shoes. We deal with them just a LITTLE differently.....

[ThrillsNSpills]

If it's Wisk she wants.

Wisk she gets.

The RothArmy.

Making dreams come true

[ThrillsNSpills]

oops


shhh

[ThrillsNSpills]

Hey.
Who's Sonny Bono's sidekick?

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by SoCalChelle
Yeah, start your own religion AND a brothel....instead of nuns, you have hookers. They spread the gospel and collect the offering. Perfect.

Seriously, we have a guy here, who started his own religion (in France) and it is just as you describe. The disciples call themselved Raelians and the "Heloines" are hookers that lure people in... and make sure that the great master gets all their money!

It is polular enough to draw serious attention...

The logo:



The Guru: (The guy made himself a milloinnaire, Shoes!)




His gamic:

[Little Texan]

Combining the Star of David with a Swastika...utter brilliance!

[binnie]

Blondgirll that is hilarious!!

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by binnie
Blondgirll that is hilarious!!

That idiot makes everyone laugh (at him) when he appears in public to defend his actions and beleifs...
I laugh at those who follow him and loose all their $$$ to his shit!

[bastardog]

he should be thinking "laugh at me but I'm a millionare"

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by bastardog
he should be thinking "laugh at me but I'm a millionare"

I'm sure he does...
Actually, he's the one who can laugh at those who really beleive in him!

[Sweet Irony]

Well, Shoes? Hows the search going?


I tend to believe the old "theres somebody out there for everyone" theory.....but if all else fails, I guess the 'start your own religion' is the way to go! Shit, Ill join. I havent been involved in organized religion for years and its about time I found God, Shoes, or an extraterrestrial hooker!

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by Sweet Irony
... I guess the 'start your own religion' is the way to go! Shit, Ill join...

I'll join too!
Hell, you can get away with a lot of shit with that... and tax free!

[bastardog]

And if someone try to distroy you........you can allegate 'discrimination by religion or faith' on a court

[blonddgirl777]

Originally posted by bastardog
And if someone try to distroy you........you can allegate 'discrimination by religion or faith' on a court

Yea, why wouldn't I play that card as well?
It seems to work!

[CROWBAR]

Why the fuck are there two threads going about this?

Shoes, take out a goddamn yahoo personal ad please! Jaysus!

or ride your vibrator

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by CROWBAR
Why the fuck are there two threads going about this?

because Hardrock spoofed it

[Golden AWe]

If you have ANY extra time, use it on going to the gym/aerobics/body combat. This is NOT a comment about your looks, you look great, but mentally, it's a grate help. No matter how bad day it was, I always feel good after the gym. Also, if you need to go somewhere on the weekend, or ask someone out, go to the gym first, then take a long shower and ask the person out. Even if he/she said no, you still wnt to the gym and feel good! Plus, you also meet good people at the gym.

Physical health improves mental health.

[binnie]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
If you have ANY extra time, use it on going to the gym/aerobics/body combat. This is NOT a comment about your looks, you look great, but mentally, it's a grate help. No matter how bad day it was, I always feel good after the gym. Also, if you need to go somewhere on the weekend, or ask someone out, go to the gym first, then take a long shower and ask the person out. Even if he?she said no, you still wnt to the gym and feel good!

Physical health improves mental health.

That is very true!

After lifting weights I actaully feel energised (although I've ripped all the shoulder muscles this week, oops)

Exercise is a really big confidence booster!