the Whizzinator

[Mushroom]

I have a cool job opportunity which is why I need to take a piss test. I've been smoking joints and taking bong hits for 20 years. mary juana, and very good stuff at that. I need to take a drug exam to get this job. what is the best product out on the market? I refuse to carry anything physical like a bag of urine or a strap-on contraption. any suggestsions for supplements? any to avoid? thanks

see kids, another good reason to say no to drugs!

[kwame k]

Most of the supplements are useless.....Creatinine levels that are low usually indicate you've taken something to beat a drug test. Although, low levels are common for vegetarians.

Pot can stay in your system for months, depending on body fat and other things......

Quit now, drink a shit ton of water and buy one of the self testing kits.....if your fail that, take someone else's pee.

I've heard of too many things that work and have also heard the exact opposite. I'd never risk a job over "urban myths" or clean out kits.

[thome]

I have a cool job opportunity which is why I need to take a piss test. I've been smoking joints and taking bong hits for 20 years. mary juana, and very good stuff at that. I need to take a drug exam to get this job. what is the best product out on the market? I refuse to carry anything physical like a bag of urine or a strap-on contraption. any suggestsions for supplements? any to avoid? thanks

see kids, another good reason to say no to drugs!

They The Them That Would Be The They ...test for anything that masks drugs such as chemicles that show a masked -No Nothing- result.

That also means no job no pass no 200$.

You say, hey you didin't find drugs, they say take the test again and on and on and on...

Here is a real important test result that I alone understand .


I have found this thru years and tens of thousands of government dollars for research.

Billions of scientist from different more "Advanced" worlds that I ALONE!! recruited for this most important of hypothysis.

Ok here it is..... this takes real comprehension...this is M.I.T. TYPE INFO!!!!!

I don't know if I should lay this heavy stuff on the people of this world...?

Ok whew *wipes brow riddled with sweat*.....

If you want to work for a company that requires you to take a drug test to deterrmine your ability to work for them...here it is....stop taking drugs...


YES !!!! I layed it DOWN!!!!....whew lots of smarts going into that answer I hope you are worthy.


Ok here is the best part whew *wipes brow again*...If you want to continue taking drugs that some companies screen for as a determining factor of your eligebility to work there....work for some else who doesn't......

OMG!!! I DID IT!!!! The Knowlege that went into these asweres is amazingly complex..


*signs the cross * ...Go in peace my son, I must rest now.....

[kwame k]

Oh yeah.....sweat like a motherfucker, too. Sauna or anything to sweat as much as possible......it cleanses the tissues that store THC.

[Doctor Dude]

Do the things Kwame mentioned, and on the day of the test they will usually ask if you're taking any medications. Tell them you have been using an over the counter cough medication such as NyQuil. My buddy swears by this, he's never failed a drug test and he rocks the ganja like a mofo.

Good luck.

[thome]

No.... here is a better system; when presented with the consent form to be tested, tell your ex future employer that never was..... to SUKKIT!!.

The constitution has no provision for the giving up of personal information of that level.


If you are willing to piss in a bucket while the HR pervert scopes your cock and technique, you should also be the kind of pansie who would work for the nazis that request it.

Then the 10$ Question: when you get busted later when they catch you with a dirty UA.

Who are you going to bitch about at the bar later that night. The nazis you used to work for or yourself for working with the nazis and not beign smart enough to comply with the provision they stated at time of employment..?

FIGHT THE POWER!

[kwame k]

Do the things Kwame mentioned, and on the day of the test they will usually ask if you're taking any medications. Tell them you have been using an over the counter cough medication such as NyQuil. My buddy swears by this, he's never failed a drug test and he rocks the ganja like a mofo.

Good luck.

The only thing I'd say about the over the counter thing is......some of that shit they make meth out of. Ever notice you can't buy certain ones off the rack, you have to get it from them behind the counter.

[thome]

No here is a better system..

1. Completely shave youself bald assed and get a brazilian wax of your ass, so they cannot get a hair sample that can identify everything you have eaten or taken as long as your hair has been growing.

2. Drink a raw herbal green tea powder colon cleanser everyday, can be purchased at GNC, that blows everything inside you out your ass with hurricane velocity.

3. Work out non stop "create lots of sweat" to the point that you become obsessed with 0% body fat that stores THC and other drugs.

Here is how you do it, spend all day shoving Tea hay in your mouth while sitting on the toilet and working out with a soloflex attatched to the back of your crapper.

You will be one gett'n over mf'r...

[hambon4lif]

The only thing I'd say about the over the counter thing is......some of that shit they make meth out of. Ever notice you can't buy certain ones off the rack, you have to get it from them behind the counter.

That would be Sudafed with ephedrine. Now they have a limit to how many packs a person can buy at one time. You can't buy them by the case anymore.

....I'm almost ashamed of the fact that I even know that!

[kwame k]

Wonder if I should ruin Thome's day and tell him that they do in fact test to see if people sniff glue and huff paint


Nah.......

[kwame k]

That would be Sudafed with ephedrine. Now they have a limit to how many packs a person can buy at one time. You can't buy them by the case anymore.

....I'm almost ashamed of the fact that I even know that!

No shame in admitting that, Ham.......as long as you don't mix it with Smoking Loon you're alright

Wow, I remember when ephedrine was all the rage for dieting and as a legal speed.......

[thome]

Here is a better system go buy a big rubber dick and drill a hole in it and then get a clean person to piss in a syringe for you then get the syringe to a certain temp then insert the syringe in the base of the dildo shove it all in your pants go piss infront of HR dude then you win.

...there could be a few perks besides keeping your 9$ a hr job.. you may get a date from HR dude due to your impressiveness or you can simply shove the rubber dick up your ass...win win..

[hambon4lif]

I'm more of a weed person myself. I'm wired differently than other folks, they take a certain ammount of tokes to get stoned, and I have to take a certain ammount of tokes just to get 'normal'.

While we're on that subject....
Mushroom...prior to your test, GNC has the best 24-hour cleansing solutions. They're a little pricey ($45 a bottle) but they absolutely work. Along with that? Cranberry juice....tons of it. To the point where you can't stand the fuckin' taste of it any more...and then a bit more.
And as mentioned before, sweat it out! By sauna, or by sitting in your bathroom with the hot water cranked full-blast in your shower, and just sitting in the steam. When the pores are fully opened, the toxins will flow right out.
Last time I did this, it was at the same time I had quit smoking cigarettes, and I could actually smell the nicotine exiting through my pores.

My suggestion is a combination of all three. I used to work in a place where all employees were subjected to random drug testing, and often were, and I've never failed one yet.
That's my 2 cents.

[Nitro Express]

Ever notice after you eat Sugar Smacks cereal you piss smells like Sugar Smacks.

[Nitro Express]

I remember when I was 12 and got really drunk for the first time. All that clear piss amazed me.