Robertson: “God Even Angrier with Chile than Haiti"

[FORD]

Robertson: “God Even Angrier with Chile than Haiti"


Citing what he described as the “the persecution of a great hero who rid their land of Godless communists” as a possible cause, prominent TV evangelist and amateur seismologist Pat Robertson today argued that the 8.8 magnitude of the earthquake that struck Chile early this morning should serve as a warning to the population that “God is even angrier with them than he is with the people of Haiti.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say it must have to do with Chile’s persecution and attempted prosecution of their great former leader, and a personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet – who, it should be noted, had never been convicted of a crime when the Lord called him home three years ago.” The popular host of ‘The 700 Club’ and longtime bingo circuit icon also added, “General Pinochet not only assisted the CIA in the overthrow of Chile’s Marxist government, but is widely credited with personally arranging the meetings of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of his countrymen with Jesus.”

General Pinochet, who spent the last eight years of his life fighting prosecution on human rights and other charges before succumbing to congestive heart failure in December 2006, could not be reached for comment, even by Robertson. The General–turned-Dictator has long been considered a transformative figure in the field of Crimes Against Humanity as a result of his landmark policy of ‘Forced Disappearance’, and was even honored in 1998 with the first-ever arrest warrant for a former head of state under the principle of ‘universal jurisdiction’ by Spanish Judge Baltasar Garzon, who is currently investigating former Bush Administration officials for War Crimes and Crimes Against Humanity.

For his part, Robertson, who reportedly lobbied then-President George W. Bush on behalf of former Liberian Dictator and accused Human Rights criminal Charles Taylor in exchange for lucrative gold mining contracts, says that he is “praying that the people of Chile will heed this warning, and never again blaspheme against God and international free-market commerce by nationalizing their most precious natural resources.”


Robertson: ?God Even Angrier with Chile than Haiti" - The Desperate Blogger - Open Salon

[chefcraig]

OK, even I can grasp this: Although the quake was stronger in sheer force than the one that crippled Haiti, the damage to Chile was considerably less. So according to Pat Robertson, the Lord's wrath essentially boils down not to achievement through symbolism, but through numbers on the Richter scale.

This does make you wonder why the Almighty is so righteously pissed off at trailer parks, though.

[Kristy]

Does God now hate France, too?

France24 - Deadly Atlantic storm 'Xynthia' batters Western Europe

[Anonymous]

EVERYONE hates France.

By the way, the island of Madeira suffered a flood with lots of people dying and shit.

It's like the Earth is scratching itself.

Nice, isn't it?

Cheers! :bottle:

[LoungeMachine]

God hates Van Halen too I suppose.......

[chefcraig]

God hates Van Halen too I suppose.......

Except for a period spanning the mid 80s thru today, God has loved Van Halen. The fans of the band however, not so much.

[LoungeMachine]

A vengeful God plagued the band with a swarm of terrible singers after The Prophet David was cast from the flock....

God's wrath bestowed terrible floods upon the eyes and ears of the chosen among us.....

God works in mysterious ways you say?

I'll say.

[sadaist]

It must be that God is mad at Haiti & Chile. He was suspiciously absent from We Are The World II. And God does not need Auto-Tune.

[FORD]

God hates Van Halen too I suppose.......

Would His Son post here, if He did?

[Kristy]

It must be that God is mad at Haiti & Chile. He was suspiciously absent from We Are The World II. And God does not need Auto-Tune.

Aw, but look for the 'We Are The World Part III' where every forgotten rapper, grunge artist, ex boy band patriot, and "nu metal" act will join Qunicy and Co for another rendition of the same ol song while those directly affected from such a disaster will be living on the street rain falling hard upon their heads wondering why they can't get any kind of international help without someone's bloated ego getting in the way.

Please, 'Candle In The Wind 1997' should have been the end of it right there.

[chefcraig]

Aw, but look for the 'We Are The World Part III' where every forgotten rapper, grunge artist, ex boy band patriot, and "nu metal" act will join Qunicy and Co for another rendition of the same ol song while those directly affected from such a disaster will be living on the street rain falling hard upon their heads wondering why they can't get any kind of international help without someone's bloated ego getting in the way.

The Latin version is on it's way...

Shakira adds voice to Spanish "We Are the World"

MIAMI — Shakira and Ricky Martin are among the artists adding their voices to a Spanish-language adaptation of "We Are the World" to raise money for Haiti earthquake relief.

The song will first air Monday on Univision's "The Cristina Show." It was produced by Emilio Estefan, Quincy Jones and Univision, under the auspices of the We Are The World Foundation.

The foundation said all proceeds will be used to help Haiti recover from a devastating Jan. 12 quake.

Gloria Estefan penned the adaptation. Other participants include Carlos Santana, Chayanne, David Archuleta, Juan Luis Guerra and Juanes.

The original "We Are the World" in 1985 raised more than $30 million for African hunger relief. Some 80 artists recently recorded a 25th anniversary version benefiting Haiti.

The Associated Press: Shakira adds voice to Spanish "We Are the World"

[Kristy]

Great. Just fucking great. Nothing says "save my failing career" then milking it it off of another's suffering. The day I see Shakira or Gloria Estefan digging ditches with shovels and no camera crews for those without homes to have a place to shit in will be the day I'll buy their crappy record.

Geddit? Crappy...

[Nickdfresh]

Good thing that Robertson's "personal hero" is a cunt tin-pot general who authorized the bestial raping of women political prisoners in his interrogation centers. I mean, what would Jesus do?

My Son of God would take power and murder his enemies extra-judicially! Praise Jesus! For Jesus saith, "if you're not with us, we'll have a dog rape your girlfriend while we summarily execute thy."

[BITEYOASS]

Would Pat Robertson please die already so I can piss on his grave?!?!?

[Seshmeister]

Being limited to earthquakes as a way to show his annonyance must be quite frustrating for the supreme creator.

During WWII he must have been jumping up and down in frustration at the fact that Germany isn't on any tectonic faults.

[Dr. Love]

doubtful, it's a well known religifact that earthquakes are caused by a frustrated God jumping up and down

[Seshmeister]

Religifacts are a bit surprising sometimes. The supreme being has created at least the 100 000 000 000 galaxies the Hubble telescope can see and each galaxy has an average of around 100 000 000 000 stars in it.

So out of the 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 stars we know about it's a little surprising that he gets upset where the odd monkey penis ends up and even more so that when he does, suddenly he is limited to earthquakes.

BTW I hope everyone realises the original story was satire. Its not so easy to spot when its about that Robertson bozo.

[bueno bob]

Guys like Pat Robertson make my arguments against organized religion for me. I could add some personal commentary, but who in their right mind really needs it? Pat makes my argument for me.

[Dr. Love]

Bob, he only appeals to those that don't have a mind in the first place

[Satan]

Pat Robertson is great for business. He and those other fundagelical lunatics drive more people away from God than I could ever do on my own.

[chefcraig]

BTW I hope everyone realises the original story was satire. Its not so easy to spot when its about that Robertson bozo.

And that's the real pisser here. I'm pretty sure everyone at this site that clicked on the link noticed the heading "Don't take the world too seriously", yet this did not prevent several sites (including the Examiner) from believing this was a real story. And as you pointed out, people are so used to the blathering of this halfwit that they wound up taking it (ironically) on faith.

[Satan]

I only knew it was a fake story because Pat Robertson doesn't work weekends. But now that it's Monday, I'm sure he'll say something dumb for real on today's 700 Club.

[binnie]

***shakes head in the shameful knowledge that he is from the same species at this man***

Anyone who counts Pinochet a 'friend' is a lot closer to Satan than to God....

[Hardrock69]

Why can't God be angry at Pat Robertson?

Why can't God be angry at Dick Cheney and give him the heart attack he deserves that will send him on his way to Satan's Vacation Resort For The Criminally Evil?

[Seshmeister]

***shakes head in the shameful knowledge that he is from the same species at this man***

Anyone who counts Pinochet a 'friend' is a lot closer to Satan than to God....

A certain 'woman' springs to mind...

[ThrillsNSpills]

.....

[Guitar Shark]

I could add some personal commentary, but who in their right mind really needs it?

BBB and his "ilk", for starters

[Nitro Express]

Yeah. Chile pulled itself out of a economic slump without taking any foreign loans and they work hard, have great seafood, and great wine. Probably one of the better areas in South America and that's why God smit them.

[Nitro Express]

Pat Robertson is great for business. He and those other fundagelical lunatics drive more people away from God than I could ever do on my own.

Makes me want to oil up and participate in a Luciferian fertility ritual. It's spring and the moon is full!

[Nitro Express]

***shakes head in the shameful knowledge that he is from the same species at this man***

Anyone who counts Pinochet a 'friend' is a lot closer to Satan than to God....

I think Pat had a threesome with General Pinochet, and Henry Kissinger.

[Nitro Express]

EVERYONE hates France.

By the way, the island of Madeira suffered a flood with lots of people dying and shit.

It's like the Earth is scratching itself.

Nice, isn't it?

Cheers! :bottle:

Yeah, but I bought some killer absinth the last time I was in Paris. I fucking saw God on that stuff.

[knuckleboner]

OK, even I can grasp this: Although the quake was stronger in sheer force than the one that crippled Haiti, the damage to Chile was considerably less. So according to Pat Robertson, the Lord's wrath essentially boils down not to achievement through symbolism, but through numbers on the Richter scale.

This does make you wonder why the Almighty is so righteously pissed off at trailer parks, though.

no, dude. an angry god is not an accurate god. he's so damned blind with rage from pinocet that he couldn't see straight. in fact, it's a miracle the chilean quake was anywhere near the coast.

[bueno bob]

If anything goes right, it's God's blessing.
If something goes wrong, than it must be God's will.
If you're not sure why a tragedy happens, God moves in mysterious ways.

Let's replace ONE WORD in that above refrain with "Sun" and see just how much it parallels the dark ages, shall we?

[chefcraig]

If anything goes right, it's God's blessing.
If something goes wrong, than it must be God's will.
If you're not sure why a tragedy happens, God moves in mysterious ways.

Let's replace ONE WORD in that above refrain with "Sun" and see just how much it parallels the dark ages, shall we?

I've never quite understood what is said by the survivors after a plane crash occurs, killing several of the passengers. They inadvertently come up with the phrase "I prayed to God" as the jet was going down. Really, and everyone else on the plane at that time wasn't? It makes as much sense as a football player pointing to the sky after he scores a touchdown. Is he the only guy on the field in God's good graces at that particular time, or wasn't the defender playing him praying hard enough?

[bueno bob]

I've never quite understood what is said by the survivors after a plane crash occurs, killing several of the passengers. They inadvertently come up with the phrase "I prayed to God" as the jet was going down. Really, and everyone else on the plane at that time wasn't? It makes as much sense as a football player pointing to the sky after he scores a touchdown. Is he the only guy on the field in God's good graces at that particular time, or wasn't the defender playing him praying hard enough?

Exactly. I also find it highly amusing to watch leaders of countries give speeches where they invoke the holy presence by saying "GOD IS ON OUR SIDE!" - as if he wouldn't be on anybody elses side.

Proof positive - whoever's speaking about God at the time is the world's largest authority on God at the time. There's never been any variation on that theme.

[BigBadBrian]

Exactly. I also find it highly amusing to watch leaders of countries give speeches where they invoke the holy presence by saying "GOD IS ON OUR SIDE!" - as if he wouldn't be on anybody elses side.

Proof positive - whoever's speaking about God at the time is the world's largest authority on God at the time. There's never been any variation on that theme.

I feel sorry for you...being so bitter and all.

[bueno bob]

I feel sorry for you...being so bitter and all.

Why don't you go pray about it, cunt? Maybe the voice in your head will give you some blistering insight and wonderful revelation about life or something?

LMAO

[bueno bob]

being so bitter and all.

Yeah, and let's address this little piece of bullshit right here all special-like, because I fucking LOVE this crap - and it CONSTANTLY spews from the mouths of the religious advocates whenever they cross a non-believers path, just like fucking clockwork.

Anybody who disbelieves is automatically relegated to being "bitter". I fucking love that. Of course, is Brian or anybody else who believes in whatever entitled to make any sort of judgment call about who's bitter and who isn't?

FUCK NO.

Oh, but that doesn't stop the religious community for one fucking nanosecond, does it? Not at all. And why? Because there's another wide open gate to pass judgment on others, and anybody with a fraction of brainpower and even a brief smattering of knowledge about the history of organized religion, particularly Christianity in general, knows FULL FUCKING WELL that they CANNOT resist the urge to pass judgment on others.

Not at all.

What's all that horseshit about "Judge not thy neighbor", Brian? Or is that in the Old Testament, something all you fucking religious fanatics like to pick and choose the accuracy from at your own leisure?

[chefcraig]

My thinking is more toward the point of the individual. If a person wishes to follow certain pursuits or beliefs toward enlightenment, good for them, as quite frankly it is none of my business to tell them otherwise. What does bother me is when those beliefs are preyed upon by others with a goal of manipulating an outcome. It is the same thing as propping up people as "evil-doers", playing on the weaknesses and fears of one's following or flock in order to expedite a course of action that would otherwise be unpopular or appalling.

As for people that go around proselytizing all the time, the truth is that they more often than not are just plain annoying. Look, not every weight loss diet is going to work for everybody. If eating grapefruit and chewing on sunflower seeds helped you to lose 35 pounds, then terrific. Personally, I don't feel all that excited about the concept, so it's highly unlikely to work out all that splendidly for me. But please, don't wag a finger at me because I fail to share your passion for seed spitting.

[bueno bob]

My thinking is more toward the point of the individual. If a person wishes to follow certain pursuits or beliefs toward enlightenment, good for them, as quite frankly it is none of my business to tell them otherwise. What does bother me is when those beliefs are preyed upon by others with a goal of manipulating an outcome. It is the same thing as propping up people as "evil-doers", playing on the weaknesses and fears of one's following or flock in order to expedite a course of action that would otherwise be unpopular or appalling.

As for people that go around proselytizing all the time, the truth is that they more often than not are just plain annoying. Look, not every weight loss diet is going to work for everybody. If eating grapefruit and chewing on sunflower seeds helped you to lose 35 pounds, then terrific. Personally, I don't feel all that excited about the concept, so it's highly unlikely to work out all that splendidly for me. But please, don't wag a finger at me because I fail to share your passion for seed spitting.

I agree completely.

The biggest problem is that, when religion gets organized, it cannot be like that.

And it will ALWAYS get organized.