The Cat is Away

[VanHalener]

Alright now, Vanhalenette is leaving tomorrow for a week long beach trip with her family and I am staying home. Why am I staying home? Because after a day or two with her sisters I may just have to kill one or both of them. Love them, but they drive me crazy. So, I need a laundry list of things to do while my woman is away.

Your mission should you accept it, and you will, is to provide old vanhalener with a list of things to do while the cat is away 'cause this mouse is ready to play. You want to laugh? Give me something to do to make you laugh. Think I'm affraid? Better think again. Well, jail sucks so keep me out of jail.
The more realistic the task, the easier time I will have pulling it off and providing pictures to prove it's done.
You sick fucks are just the help I need to get through the week without my baby, so bring it on. The fun begins August 5th.
(maybe I should be affraid)

[VanHalener]

Alright, vanhalenette has spilt to gather last minute items with family for their trip in the morning.

Nothing on the board here for me to do, so I guess I'm going to take a few of my little buddies to the farm for a while.

IS THERE ANYBODY DOWN RANGE?!

[VanHalener]

What, no takers?...hmmmm. Must have a Van Halen concert to get to.

Destroyed many *targets today with extreme prejudice. My buddy Paul's friend Donny wiped us all up, but it was damned close. Guns away, we pounded some Belgian Fruit Lambic: apple, peach, raspberry.

Fruit Lambic: The acidity of Lambic provides a particularly good based for fruit beers. Because these begin with a fermentation of grain, and are primed with fruit later, they are beers and not wines. The use of fruit (like that of spices) almost certainly pre-dates the hop as a flavour-modifier in beer. In the traditional method, the fruit is added during the maturation of the beer, causing a further fermentation. The happiest results are arguable with fruits that have stones, which can impart a balancing, almondy, dryness. The best of Belgian fruit beers have the dryness of a pink Champagne, rather than the sweetness of a soda-pop. Like Champagnes, they are often served in flute-style glasses. In the Brussels area, the home of Lambic, a typical local fruit is a small, dark, variety of cherry, known in Flemish as the Kriek. Lambic-based Kriek beers are the most traditional fruit brews. Raspberries, known in Flemish as Frambozen , and French as Framboises , are also widely used. The Cantillon brewery has in recent years experimented to interesting effect with Muscat grapes, which are grown under glass in Belgium as dessert fruit. More exotic fruits, added as syrups, are used in novelty beers by the more commercially-minded breweries. The term Lambic is used only when that style of beer is used as the base. Contrary to misunderstandings in some other countries, there is no connection between the term Lambic and the use of fruit. Equally, many good fruit beers in Belgium are not based on Lambic. For example, several of the Brown brews made in Oudenaarde are used as the base for Kriek or Frambozen beers.


Here's to the Gods of Non

May I receive a task before this is dumped.



T minus six hours to missin' my baby...
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*Paper, clay, and plastic targets. I shot and ate one squirrel. He asked for it for quite a while. No, really! And he tasted just like chicken.

[Hyman Roth]

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[Dan]

Pron,Pron And Pron.

BTW.....Stock-Up on hand cream and paper towels.

And Fill The Fridge Full of Piss.

[VanHalener]

Originally posted by Hyman Roth
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Don't think I'll be fortunate enough to score an airborne jump before the woman returns.There's got to be something in the area I can jump from and survive.(thinking...will get back to you on this one)

[VanHalener]

Originally posted by Dan
Pron,Pron And Pron.

BTW.....Stock-Up on hand cream and paper towels.

And Fill The Fridge Full of Piss.

Happy Birthday Dan.

Checklist:

2.5 oz bottle ASTROGLIDE Glycerine& Paraben free

2.35 oz bottle regular Astroglide

2.5 oz bottle JO Premium Personal lubricant.

18 oz bottle Suave Skin Therapy

4 rolls paper towels

1 roll toilet paper

last nights empty case of beer bottles for fridge.

Going to my mechanics shop for a while while camera battery charges. This fridge thing is going to be pretty disgusting, Dan.

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[diamondsgirl]

Why don't you clean the whole house from top to bottom

Checklist:

Lysol Tub and Tile Cleaner
Lysol Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Lysol Antibacterial Kitchen Cleaner
Mr. Clean Floor Cleaner
Windex
Murphy's Oil Soap
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes
Pledge Furniture Polish
lots of rags
4 more rolls of paper towels

[chi-town324]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Why don't you clean the whole house from top to bottom

Checklist:

Lysol Tub and Tile Cleaner
Lysol Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Lysol Antibacterial Kitchen Cleaner
Mr. Clean Floor Cleaner
Windex
Murphy's Oil Soap
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes
Pledge Furniture Polish
lots of rags
4 more rolls of paper towels

[VanHalener]

Alright Dan, I had to supplement a stack of napkins for the fourth roll of towels. Gotta keep my word, so here's the gear.(there is no guarantee these items will be used this week )

The firidge and piss thing is still being mulled over by my team of experts. Please stand by for an update...

[VanHalener]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Why don't you clean the whole house from top to bottom

Checklist:

Lysol Tub and Tile Cleaner
Lysol Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Lysol Antibacterial Kitchen Cleaner
Mr. Clean Floor Cleaner
Windex
Murphy's Oil Soap
Clorox Disinfecting Wipes
Pledge Furniture Polish
lots of rags
4 more rolls of paper towels

I knew I should be affraid! Damnit!!!!! Good thing we generally keep a clean house. This is going to be a pain in the hoo haa, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Alright diamondsgirl,

Bathroom one complete. Ain't this a bitch?!! More to come, just for you.
(walking away grumbling)

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by vanhalener
I knew I should be affraid! Damnit!!!!! Good thing we generally keep a clean house. This is going to be a pain in the hoo haa, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Alright diamondsgirl,

Bathroom one complete. Ain't this a bitch?!! More to come, just for you.
(walking away grumbling)

ooooohh wow...

I am so impressed!!

do you normally do the cleaning or does she? or do you share? or hire out?

this could lead to some serious lovey dovey when she gets home

a man cleans my house like that and I'll do anything he wants. :p

[smaz]

Where'd you live DG?


Hmm... Using whatever objects are suitable, create a collage of any of the classic VH albums on your garage door or driveway

[chi-town324]

Originally posted by vanhalener
I knew I should be affraid! Damnit!!!!! Good thing we generally keep a clean house. This is going to be a pain in the hoo haa, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Alright diamondsgirl,

Bathroom one complete. Ain't this a bitch?!! More to come, just for you.
(walking away grumbling)

good work bro

[VanHalener]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Why don't you clean the whole house from top to bottom

Another bathroom down.
Guest room and bath, too Chill area clean.