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  • The purpose-driven left

    The purpose-driven left
    Ann Coulter


    April 7, 2005


    It's been a tough year for the secularist crowd. There was Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ," the moral values election, the Christian hostage subduing her kidnapper by reading from "The Purpose-Driven Life," and the Christian effort to save Terri Schiavo. Not only that, but earlier this year Dr. James Dobson insulted the Democrats' mascot, SpongeBob SquarePants, with impunity.

    And now, for all the hullabaloo in the media, you'd think the pope had died.


    The liberal take on Catholicism is that it's a controversial religion because of its positions on abortion, sodomy and various other crucial planks of the Democratic platform (curiously, positions that are shared by all three of the world's major religions).

    In defense of the Catholic Church's most "controversial" position (meaning "contrary to the clearly stated opinion of CNN"), I wanted to return to a story from a few weeks ago that passed from the headlines far too quickly. The "controversial" Catholic position is the ban on girl priests.

    I'll leave it to the Catholics to explain the theological details, but we have a beautiful pair of bookmarks to the exact same incident illustrating women's special skills and deficits. The escape and capture of Brian Nichols shows women playing roles they should not (escorting dangerous criminals) and women playing roles they do best (making men better people).

    Nichols' murderous rampage began when he took the gun from a 5-foot-tall grandmother who was his sole guard at the Fulton County Courthouse. It ended when an otherwise unremarkable 26-year-old woman appealed to the Christian conscience of this same violent killer holding her hostage.

    At 2 a.m. one Saturday night, Ashley Smith went out for cigarettes while unpacking her new apartment, yet another victory for tobacco pleasure. Returning from the store, Smith was grabbed by a man at her front door, who put a gun in her side and told her not to scream. He asked if she knew who he was. When he removed his baseball cap, she saw it was Nichols, the dangerous fugitive all over television who had escaped custody during his rape trial and had killed four people in the previous 48 hours. (Although he also looked a lot like of one the guys on "American Idol.")

    In Smith's apartment, Nichols bound Smith's feet and hands and put her in the bathtub. Later, at Smith's request, Nichols allowed her to hop from the bathroom into the bedroom, where she began talking to him.

    In short order, Smith was reading aloud to Nichols from the Christian book "The Purpose-Driven Life" – in direct violation of his constitutional right to never hear any reference to God, in public or private, for any purpose, ever, ever, ever! For more on this right, go to the "People for the American Way" website.

    After reading the first paragraph of Chapter 33 aloud, about serving God by serving others, Nichols – the man pundits were calling an "animal" – asked her to read it again.

    Nichols listened to the passage again and responded by telling Smith he was already dead, saying, "Look at my eyes." But Smith looked and told him God had a purpose for him, perhaps to minister to other lost souls in prison. Smith read to Nichols some more, both from the "Purpose" book and from another popular book that's been dropped from all news accounts of this incident: the New Testament. (In the Hollywood version, Smith will be reading from the Quran.)

    Smith knew all about Nichols' violent depredations from television. Yet she saw him not as a monster, but as one of God's creatures. Most Christians – most people – have trouble seeing the humanity of people who take our parking spots. Smith could see God's hand in a multiple murderer holding her hostage. By showing him genuine Christian love, Smith turned Nichols from a beast to a brother in Christ. This phenomenon, utterly unknown to liberals, is what's known as a "miracle." Top that, Paul Krugman!

    Nichols told Smith she was "an angel sent from God," calling her "his sister" and himself her "brother in Christ." Nichols said he had come to Smith's home for a reason, in Smith's words, that "he was lost and God led him right to me to tell him that he had hurt a lot of people."

    This trampling of our Constitution – I mean this conversation – lasted long into the night. They watched Nichols' shooting people on television. Nichols said he couldn't believe he was that man. In the morning, Smith made Nichols eggs and pancakes for breakfast. Then she walked out of the apartment to pick up her daughter and to call 911. The last thing Nichols said as Smith was leaving was to say hello to her daughter for him. When the police arrived, Nichols surrendered without incident, an utterly transformed human being.

    Heaven help the average liberal if this ever happens to him! What would an urban secularist do? Come sit down and let me read to you from Michael Moore's "Stupid White Men." Or maybe he could put a SpongeBob video in the VCR. WE ARE FAM-I-LEEEEE! At least before he killed again, the dangerous fugitive would have warm feelings toward homosexuals.

    It's also another example of how our universities are failing students. Today's college coeds would be dead: They know nothing about Jesus Christ and can't cook a good meal.

    Smith saved the soul of a man on a killing spree by talking to him about Christianity. But liberals think this won't work with the Muslims? We ought to fly this Ashley Smith to Saudi Arabia. We could just make her a box lunch every day and send her on her way.
    Liberals would approve of a nice Christian girl like Smith going to the Middle East only if she went as a Marine or – better! – if she were getting herself run over by a tank while defending a PLO tunnel into the Gaza Strip used by suicide bombers. Sadly for liberals, feminist lunacy doesn't convert and transform, it browbeats and harangues. The only miracle it has ever performed is getting people to listen to Nancy Pelosi.
    “If bullshit was currency, Joe Biden would be a billionaire.” - George W. Bush

  • #2
    This is a nice column. But you posted it a little late. Her next one should go live in the next day or so.

    And now, I'll give the floor to Ford, who'll enter ranting about conspiracy and how Ann Coulter is really a man.
    "The security around the hotel was ridiculous. This chick was pounding and screaming at my door until four or five in the morning....finally I said fuck it, and let her out of the room"

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't agree with her views, but she's a pretty articulate broad...

      Did she get the pie out of her hair yet ??
      Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

      "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

      "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

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      • #4
        Re: The purpose-driven left

        Originally posted by BigBadBrian

        Liberals would approve of a nice Christian girl like Smith going to the Middle East only if she went as a Marine or – better! – if she were getting herself run over by a tank while defending a PLO tunnel into the Gaza Strip used by suicide bombers.

        Isn't this line a hoot? Don't you love it, FORD? Hmm?




        “If bullshit was currency, Joe Biden would be a billionaire.” - George W. Bush

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by BigBadBrian
          The purpose-driven left
          Ann Coulter


          April 7, 2005


          It's been a tough year for the secularist crowd. There was Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ," the moral values election, the Christian hostage subduing her kidnapper by reading from "The Purpose-Driven Life," and the Christian effort to save Terri Schiavo. Not only that, but earlier this year Dr. James Dobson insulted the Democrats' mascot, SpongeBob SquarePants, with impunity.

          Since when is being on the "left" equate with being a secularist?

          we all know plenty of people who are on the left who are highly religious. And we all know plenty of registered republicans who are atheists, agnostic, or - heavens forbid! - Jewish.

          And considering Ann's opeing paragraph:

          Passion of the Christ - excuse me? so what's the problem?

          The Christian effort to save Terri Shaivo was a massive blunder and turned people AGAINST the intervention.

          I was unaware that Spongebob was a mascot, or even gay. Far as I can tell, he's a cartoon for kids. I'd say Dobson made himself look like an idiot on that one. (go after a person, for god's sake...what? you can't attack anything but a cartoon???)

          Then again, you don't get more cartoon-esque than Ann. And she's a closet dyke.

          Comment


          • #6
            I would assume that most Bible-bashers are on the left, no?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Warham
              I would assume that most Bible-bashers are on the left, no?
              There are many, absolutely, but I'd say the same for the right. And do oyu mean agnostics or "Bible-bashers"? Because the latter for the most part operates outside politics altogether.

              And there are plenty of deeply religious folk ON BOTH SIDES. Jesse Jackson? Al Sharpton?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Warham
                I would assume that most Bible-bashers are on the left, no?
                The only one "bashing" the Bible here is Anndrew. And it's obvious that s/he's never read it.
                Eat Us And Smile

                Cenk For America 2024!!

                Justice Democrats


                "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

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                • #9
                  The most innacurate crit of Ann Coulter is:
                  "Her points of view are wrong, but boy she is a strong writer!"

                  She's a piss poor writer as well: tired cliches, sad antagonising of "liberals"...instead of offering any constructive thought.

                  Boring.

                  She's sells hyperbole but without any sense of humor...aka: absurdity. She has no real talent - writing-wise or logic wise, so she makes due...sort of like P. Diddy...except she wears short skirts and occasionally writes racist diatribes to stay in the limlight.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Coulter is a terrible writer, and a thoughtless dolt to boot!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by academic punk
                      There are many, absolutely, but I'd say the same for the right. And do oyu mean agnostics or "Bible-bashers"? Because the latter for the most part operates outside politics altogether.

                      And there are plenty of deeply religious folk ON BOTH SIDES. Jesse Jackson? Al Sharpton?
                      Didn't Jesse show support for Schiavo? Maybe he's making a jump to the right.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
                        Last edited by DrMaddVibe; 04-12-2005, 08:37 PM.
                        http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x...auders1zl5.gif
                        http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c4...willywonka.gif

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You know you made me download that awful song with your post in the film thread!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Warham
                            Didn't Jesse show support for Schiavo? Maybe he's making a jump to the right.

                            Maybe he is, but I think that's just an example of life (and politics) being too complex for these hard and strict rules and stereotypes.

                            It might also suggest that the left isn't so "secularist" as the right sometimes portrays them.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              hehehe!
                              http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x...auders1zl5.gif
                              http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c4...willywonka.gif

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