Toenail or fingernail clipping

[MAX]

Ok,

So there I was just a few minutes ago doing my nightly routine. I washed my face, shaved, brushed my teeth, flossed, gargled Listerine and used Q-Tips in my ears when I started looking for other shit I could do. Well, I haven't trimmed my toenails in a few days so I thought "What the fuck" and went for it. Anyway, I clip one of the little fuckers and it must have jumped if it were five feet, I'd say a mile across the room. Now, I'm pissed cos I cannot find the clipping and I like to check them out and have them all accounted for before I dispose of them.

I know this sounds creepy but this is the kind of shit that I think about when the power goes off and what kept me out of the really good schools.

Anyone else have this problem?

[Rikk]

Yeah, man. I mean, you have to collect all of them, don't you? I mean some people like to put them all in a jar even and have each year's supply instead of throwing pieces of themselves out.

MAX, you gotta find that fucker. You can't just let it be alone without its brothers.

Speaking of toenails, what's your opinion of raking leaves? I mean, leaf raking time must be over...but do you have a real opinion of the whole issue, anyone?

[MAX]

Fuck leaves!!!

I must have done 500 bags last month. Sons a bitches!!!

I'm still pissed off about that A.W.O.L. nail clipping cos I just vacuumed that room this afternoon and I swear it's hiding from me!!!

I'll bet money right as I'm doing my sit-ups the sharp fucker will embed itself right into my back. This shit pisses me off to no end.

[Rikk]

Sometimes in the morning, after a good masturbate, I like to lie down on the carpet and let the toenail clippings that have been left there just embed themselves in my back. Then I can get up slowly and pull them all out and put them in a ziplock which I place in the freezer. Then I can lie down again, become embedded with more toenail clippings and remove them again. The cycle goes on for hours until the whole carpet is clear.

Days like that make life worth living.

I wish I had an iguana named Paul.

[ashstralia]

yes!
i thought i was the only
obsessive compulsive freak
on here.

if i don't have 10 fingernail
clippings there's drama.

my chick actually complains
about how clean my place is.

[MAX]

Rikk,

Now I call that shit the righteous and the wicked!!! WHOAH!!!

After a good self-abusing session I usually like to hold myself, cuddle and whisper sweet nothings to myself. I'm extremely vain, so I always like to tell myself how good looking I am so I like to treat myself right. I don't want myself to feel cheap and sleazy. Sometimes I will send myself flowers or take myself out for an expensive dinner. Hey, if a person ever swaps hands while one is pleasuring themselves, is that considered cheating on your "normal" hand? :confused:

[MAX]

Originally posted by ashstralia
if i don't have 10 fingernail
clippings there's drama.

I hear you mate and I still cannot find the ecaped clipping. It's driving me crazy!!!!

[ashstralia]

no max,
all's fair in self pleasure and war.

btw, be very careful inserting
anything in your ears. seriously.

[MAX]

Originally posted by ashstralia
no max,
all's fair in self pleasure and war.

btw, be very careful inserting
anything in your ears. seriously.

I've been doing the same Q-Tip thing since I was a teen. Unlike other finer things in life, I don't penetrate to far or hard. Just enough to clean.

[ashstralia]

Originally posted by MAX
Unlike other finer things in life, I don't penetrate to far or hard. Just enough to clean.

amen bro!!

(*slap!* who's yo daddy!)
he he...

[Rikk]

When I wipe my ass, the only annoyance I can occasionally run into is when pieces of cotten rip off the toilet paper and get stuck in the ass.

Someday, I hope they make a toilet paper that is both soft as a nice cushion but strong enough to not tear to shreds when shoved inside an asshole. Of course, it also has to be flushable.

I suppose if one dates oneself a lot, wiping one's ass could be considered a form of sodomy if you don't yourself if it's okay first.

[MAX]

Originally posted by ashstralia
amen bro!!

(*slap!* who's yo daddy!)
he he...

You know it my stellar mate from Oz!!!

A good spanking is always a good thing. LOL!!!

[ashstralia]

Originally posted by Rikk
I suppose if one dates oneself a lot, wiping one's ass could be considered a form of sodomy if you don't yourself if it's okay first.

yeeaaah max!
love ya work, man.

hey rikk, as long as you
consent, who gives a fuck?

[MAX]

Alright Rikk,

I'm not going there!!!

Someone over at the links has this in their sig from when I first said it many miles back and I'll repeat it again hers cos it seems fitting.

I'm as big of a horndog as anyone. However, I have not nor have I ever been interested in going in the back door.

[MAX]

Originally posted by ashstralia
yeeaaah max!
love ya work, man.

You too mate. I once spanked a woman so hard that I left my pink handprint on her right cheek. She kept asking for it so I did it. It was in the afternoon so I could see it plain as day. I shit you not mate. Then I fell on the floor LMAO and she told me to get the fuck out. Go figure? LOL!!!