I threw up in the checkout line and got groceries for free.

[rustoffa]

I have to give a shout to the fat bitch that was in line in front of me.

The whole thing revolved around this fucking baseball bat size tube of ground beef she was trying to buy.

I was just standing there trying not to pay attention to how it wouldn't scan and looking at people magazines or some shit. The fat bitch starts getting agitated and insists on helping.....it was on like donkey kong.

The other bitch behind the counter wanted no part of the fat bitches help, and it turned into a tug-o'-war with the tube of ground shit.

There's like some lady behind me with 25 crying babies yelling too. So I turn around to see wtf is going on, and one of the ladies babies' is shitting on her blouse. I turn back around to discover the tube of ground beef has been ripped open, and the fat bitch is stuffing like half of it in her purse, demanding non-payment.

I can hold my likker with the best of 'em.....this was no likker and I threw up.

I didn't even know I was queasy...it just happened. The lady behind me started flipping out, and management decided I needed to go....IMMEDIATELY.

No paper, no plastic, just move along.

[NightProwler]

That's a pretty good story.

[Golden AWe]

NightProlwer, you're amazing.

[fryingdutchman]

So the lady behind you flipped out because you puked...but was non-plussed by the fact that she was being SHIT on?!?!?

[Mr. Vengeance]

Originally posted by fryingdutchman
So the lady behind you flipped out because you puked...but was non-plussed by the fact that she was being SHIT on?!?!?

Of course not. All parents thnk that anything their little shitty puke machines do is cute. Screeching in yor ear, pissing on your $600 leather jacket, rubbing your CVH T shirt all over their snotty little noses.

But heaven forbid you look at the little bastards cross-eyed, and you get the "look"...you know the one I mean. That "You are worse than Hitler" look.

[DLR7884]

Threads like this are what makes me love this place.

DLR7884
Classic.

[diamondsgirl]

lol @ the decision to get the puking guy the fuck out of the equation

[EdwardVanHalen1]

I should try that

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
lol @ the decision to get the puking guy the fuck out of the equation

I didn't understand that decision either, I really didn't care to understand as I skated with probably a forty-dollar-tally.

Was in there earlier today...I went out of my way to buy the weekend beer there....praying for an explanation.

Nobody said anything. I shop for groceries there all the time, so I'm like, "fuck..why'd I get the free pass?" (thinking to self)

So as I'm paying for the beer, the fucker that usher'd me out of the joint comes over just all apologetic. "We didn't want the situation to escalate, and you looked really angry."

I was like, "I wasn't angry dude, I just threw up. I appreciate the groceries though."

This cart-collector told me it was the gratest thing he'd ever seen.

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by rustoffa

This cart-collector told me it was the gratest thing he'd ever seen.

someday his grandchildren will be jumping up and down saying "grandpa, tell us the story about the guy that puked in the check out line!!"

[EdwardVanHalen1]

lol

[Susie Q]

Originally posted by EdwardVanHalen1
I should try that

LOL! I dunno....I see this being said with a very drone kinda voice. LOL! Funny stuff..

Rustoffa, good on ya for getting your groceries for free, what a way to go!

I can't stand people who take their kids to stores and they are completely out of control. Makes you think what the next generation will end up like...

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
someday his grandchildren will be jumping up and down saying "grandpa, tell us the story about the guy that puked in the check out line!!"

I dunno....he seemed kinda smarmy for a cart collector.

[classicdude]

Man I worked p/t at a grocery some years back. This story doesn't surprise me. A guy I worked with said he saw some granny shopping, stop in the middle of the aisle, squat down and take a shit. Beauty of it was, she just stood up and kept right on shopping.

[Anonymous]

Beh... thoser people can't work under stress. Had it been in my bar, NOONE would leave until everything was settled. Including you, Stoff.

I would've told you to keep the puke off the floor, though... just barf on that woman over there who's being shit on. She larves it, the lil' slut.

Cheers! :bottle: