So Here's The Thing: Volume 1

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  • POJO_Risin
    Roth Army Caesar
    • Mar 2003
    • 40648
    #1

    So Here's The Thing: Volume 1

    From the Who Gives a Shit Files

    Edward Van Halen can even date a fucking porn star, he dates a fucking publicist for a porn star? Seriously motherfuckers, are you kidding me? You go the porn route, and can't even fuck a porn STAR? Talk about a career tailspin. I'll bet Roth bangs a porn star once a week.

    Dating a pornstar publicist?

    Isn't that more or less like fucking an plastic blow up doll? (Yo Loungemachine, when your ass shows up here and reads this, make sure you fill us in on what that's like)

    Imaging walking up to your friends.

    "Hey Eeeyore, guess what..."

    "Wwwwhatttt Eeeeedwarddddd..."

    "I'm dating a porn..."

    "Sssstarrrr?"

    "Um, no."

    "Aaaa Pppporrrnnnn wwwhaaatttt? Aaaaa ppporrrnnnn dddilllldoooo?"

    "A Porn PUBLICIST!"

    "Oh"

    Yeah, it's a great fucking ring, isn't it.

    Leave it to Edward Van Halen, to get to the precipice of male greatness, and come up a few dollars short.

    It's like being named Hugh Geffner...close, but no cigar.

    So here's the Thing. Edward doesn't need rehab, he needs the shit kicked out of him.

    It's pretty fucking sad when you are heading towards 60, and still haven't moved past 16...

    well...unless your name is corky...

    or...

    Phoenix...
    "Van Halen was one of the most hallelujah, tailgate, backyard, BBQ, arrive four hours early to the gig just for the parking lot bands. And still to this day is. It's an attitude. I think it's a spirit more than anything else is."
    Tags: thing, volume
    • Douglas T.
      Full Member Status

      • Nov 2005
      • 3875
      #2
      ... tell us how you really feel Po!

        Comment

        • VanHalener
          ROCKSTAR

          • Nov 2006
          • 5451
          #3
          They will be back!
          <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UQcr8xODWB4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UQcr8xODWB4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
          ~Only you can prevent low volume~

            Comment

            • Matt White
              • Jun 2004
              • 20565
              #4
              Poor EDwad......................


              Stunted growth, stunted development.......you figure it out.........

                Comment

                • binnie
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • May 2006
                  • 19145
                  #5
                  It couldn't get anymore Spinal Tap really could it....
                  The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                    Comment

                    • Matt White
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 20565
                      #6
                      Hmmmm..........


                      If only SHEMP would SPONTANIOUSLY COMBUST.....


                      Then they'd be "Spinal Tap" enough for me!:p

                        Comment

                        • Anonymous
                          Banned
                          • May 2004
                          • 12748
                          #7
                          Originally posted by POJO_Risin
                          So here's the Thing. Edward doesn't need rehab, he needs the shit kicked out of him.
                          That's what I've been saying all along.

                          Well, actually I've been saying "Fuck you, Eddie."

                          But I meant what you wrote. Well, not really.

                          But you have a point. He does need a good, healthy beating up. With nunchakus in the mix.

                          Cheers! :bottle:

                            Comment

                            • Ellyllions
                              Veteran
                              • Mar 2006
                              • 2012
                              #8
                              Actually him dating a porn star is probably the best relationship he'll ever have.

                              I'd say Edward's dickie-doo doesn't work anymore, and she fucks for a living so she's probably happy that she doesn't have to fuck him.


                              Shit, I wouldn't wanna fuck him either! LOL!
                              "If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace." - Hamilton Fish

                                Comment

                                • bueno bob
                                  DIAMOND STATUS
                                  • Jul 2004
                                  • 22942
                                  #9
                                  I don't really give a shit who he's fucking...I just want something to happen with David (and hopefully the rest of the REAL Van Halen) sometime before this decade lets out...

                                  That would be nice...
                                  Twistin' by the pool.

                                    Comment

                                    • binnie
                                      DIAMOND STATUS
                                      • May 2006
                                      • 19145
                                      #10
                                      I like your new pic Elly!

                                      "Dickie Doo" sounds a little creepy though...
                                      The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                                        Comment

                                        • bueno bob
                                          DIAMOND STATUS
                                          • Jul 2004
                                          • 22942
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by binnie
                                          I like your new pic Elly!

                                          "Dickie Doo" sounds a little creepy though...
                                          I killed a bunch of Jedi Younglings.
                                          Twistin' by the pool.

                                            Comment

                                            • Ellyllions
                                              Veteran
                                              • Mar 2006
                                              • 2012
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by bueno bob
                                              I don't really give a shit who he's fucking...I just want something to happen with David (and hopefully the rest of the REAL Van Halen) sometime before this decade lets out...

                                              That would be nice...
                                              AMEN!



                                              *Thanks Binnie...
                                              "If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace." - Hamilton Fish

                                                Comment

                                                • ELVIS
                                                  Banned
                                                  • Dec 2003
                                                  • 44120
                                                  #13
                                                  It's crazy how a couple of beers distorts Pojo's thought process...

                                                    Comment

                                                    • knuckleboner
                                                      Crazy Ass Mofo
                                                      • Jan 2004
                                                      • 2927
                                                      #14
                                                      ed's fucking a porn what? i thought he was fucking the fans...

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Lqskdiver
                                                          Sniper
                                                          • Jun 2004
                                                          • 763
                                                          #15
                                                          Coming soon...Ed's soundtrack to Philmore Butts 2: Anatomy of a Pornstar.

                                                          Ebays yer best bet...

                                                            Comment

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