Brandon Marshall, you're my hero

[POJO_Risin]

1. You're arrested in college for assaulting a cop. Charges are dropped, but a nice entry into the life of thuggery.

2. You tried to return sheets that were stolen. Of course, you had no idea they were, and charges were dropped. Nice second foray...beneath the first, under the current...but let's everyone know you are gearing for wonder.

3. You are at the nightclub with Javon Walker and Darrent Williams, when Williams was shot and killed. You testified that you escalated the situation, I believe by spraying folks with champagne...among some other things. Big jump...sweet...

4. Then the arrest for suspicion of domestic violence with your girlfriend at the time. An Anger management class later, and charges are dropped! You're clean as a whistle.

5. DUI! You can't be a thug...er...playa without a DUI!

6. Misdemeanor battery with your again long-time girlfriend. Good to see you are still together...er...apart...er...huh?

7. New girlfriend/fiance, same situation! Arrested for disorderly conduct after a "dispute" with your chica, but the charges were dropped, so it's all good.

8. MARRIAGE TO CRAZY LADY 2!

9. Hey, you are not guilty for the misdemeanor battery (#6) with your CRAZY LADY 1! You are the man!

10. STABBED BY CRAZY LADY 1! She's in jail, and you had surgery. Marshall says he fell on broken glass, while CRAZY LADY 2 says it was self defense.

You are a fucking superstar!

...fucking piece of shit...

er...SUPERSTAR!

Good to see the justice system working for THE MAN!

[Fairwrning]

So we can expect him to be high on your draft list this year?

[Fairwrning]

Good to see you didnt get wiped out by the Tornadoes that came thru lately..

[chefcraig]

I read about this in our local paper this morning, then forgot to mention it. This is just perfect. The one receiver the Dolphins have left standing, and he takes a knife to the gut. As usual, he lied to the police about what took place, so who knows what is next.

[lesfunk]

Nice to know that Run Fast Jump High still carries some weigh in the USA

[chefcraig]

Nice to know that Run Fast Jump High still carries some weigh in the USA

Yeah, we are pretty much the Raiders of the East. Remember, this is the same team that thought the hiring Lawrence Phillips and Joey Porter were a sound, practical ideas.

[TFM_Dale]

Yet another bum allowed to act like a loser as long as he puts up numbers. The dumb fuck should be suspended without pay for a full year after the new CBA is agreed to.

[VAiN]

Wow, I had no idea our guy was this awesome! Good for him. He keeps it real, I respect that.

[chefcraig]

Wow, I had no idea our guy was this awesome! Good for him. He keeps it real, I respect that.

Like Chris Rock says "Keepin' it real...yeah, real dumb." Check out this police blotter dating back to 2007 (thru May of last year) for some other highlights from our rogue's gallery, which coincidentally just happened to coincide with the Bill Parcels era here in Miami.

* Fred Evans — marijuana possession — February 2007
* Joey Porter — misdemeanor battery — March 2007
* Fred Evans — battery on a police officer, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and trespassing — June 2007
* Kelly Campbell — felony possession of marijuana and ecstasy — July 2007
* Chris Chambers — DUI, recless driving, and speeding — July 2007
* Mike Dumas — assistant coach — arrested for simple battery — Christmas day, 2007
* Channing Crowder — misdemeanor leaving the scene of a crime — January 2007
* Matt Roth — arrested on public intoxication charges — February 2008
* Reagan Mauia — charged with public assault — April 2008
* Randy Starks — arrested, charged with aggravated battery of a police officer — May 2009
* Will Billingsley — Arrested, charged with misdemeanor domestic battery and resisting arrest — October 2009
* Tony McDaniel — arrested on misdemeanor battery charges — February 2010
* Will Allen — arrested, charged with DUI — February 2010
* Ronnie Brown — arrested on suspicion of DUI — March 2010
* Phillip Merling — arrested, charged with assault of a pregnant woman — May 2010

Bleacher Report

[VAiN]

Hmmm... seems they like to smoke weed, drink and smack bitches around. My kinda people!

[Fairwrning]

Speaking of pieces of shit.....quite the background on this fine millionaire athlete..Albert Haynesworth..my God man, we could start a 1,000 page thread on these fuckers

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=6432578

[chefcraig]

I came this close to starting an NFL Player Police Blotter around the time of last year's off season, yet thought better of it. I figured it should include all sports players, and it seemed like too much work to maintain. Even if I had stuck to the original idea, I still would have been busy.