Worst Hagar Lyric...?

[Jérôme Frenchise]

Hi Golden Awe, where have you been? Long time no see... Lost in the Laponian forests or half-drowned in one of your thousand lakes?

[Nickdfresh]

It's nice to see you Golden Awe, but for fucking fuck's sake I had just eaten breakfast before reading the first three lines of that nauseating lyric...

[Kristy]

Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more...we're gonna throw your ass in the city joint" Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?" I said Yea!, Oh yea!

What's Shakespeare, Chaucer, or Keats when compared to that?

[FORD]

Still say this has to be the cheesiest thing the Ched Rocker ever did. Even more than any Van Hagar song. It's like he was auditioning for the fucking Bee Gees or whatever..

[Nickdfresh]

Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more...we're gonna throw your ass in the city joint" Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?" I said Yea!, Oh yea!

"Oh, does that mean all those big, bad men are going to take advantage of me when I bend over, I said to the cop? Cause I've got a pocket full of soap to drop!"

-That was a throwaway line in "I Can't Drive."

[Terry]

It's always a comfort when Sammy utilizes the word "jive" in a song.

[Seshmeister]

I just picked a Chickenfoot song at random on Google to see if he's got any better.


First one I looked at - Dubai Blues

I thought maybe he's tried to write something about the shitty treatment of serf workers there, women who get whipped for being raped, maybe just something about the place wrecking the environment...

I got more change in my pocket
Than your boyfriend will ever make
A gold palace on the water
Filled with butlers and maids
I got more money in your country like your spendin' times two
But I ain't got you
No, I can't find you

I said, oh baby, all I want
But I ain't got you
I said, oh baby, all I got
Is the Dubai blues, I got the Dubai blues, yeah

Jesus Christ...

[Terry]

An interview he did a few years back, when mentioning Van Halen, he said despite the way his time in the group ended he wouldn't have traded the experience for anything because from a business standpoint being in Van Halen was a positive thing in terms of how Hagar's career unfolded while he was in the band and beyond.

Doubtless that turned out to be true, but I thought it was telling that Hagar chose to focus solely on that aspect, and didn't provide a single mention of...say, you know...the music he made with the group. Nope. It boiled down to being in Van Halen giving him the ability to buy and promote Cabo Wabo and his tequila brand with a much higher level of visibility than he could have ever dreamed of had he remained a solo artist and never joined the band.

Having read his book and the interviews he has given since, Hagar clearly values the amount of money he has made above all else in terms of how he defines success. And, you know, doubtless that IS a part of how success is defined. But he never really talks about the music he made. He's like Paul Stanley in that respect, where Stanley talks about the songwriting process only in terms of how he crafted a song in terms of calculating how much it might sell: neither of them ever talk about the sheer joy of creating the music, only the sheer joy they experienced when they made money off it, and it comes across like creating the music is a distant, secondary concern to how well the music sold.

[Terry]

Like, the way both of those guys talk about making music, it has all the allure of listening to someone who puts widgets on a gizmo while standing at an assembly line all day long, and there is a noticeable lack of phrases like 'creative inspiration'...

...I mean, fuck, everybody's gotta make a buck, but must rock music by necessity be assembly line blandness?

[Seshmeister]

The accidental genius being that truth told the difference in taste between shitty tequila and stupid expensive tequila is marginal and the whole thing is bullshit.

So he doubles down on his luck and then writing lyrics comes up with the idea of connecting with his audience by writing an ode moaning that there is a girl he wants to fuck that still won't let him even though he is much richer than her boyfriend????

It's the opposite of fucking heart, romance, escapism, anything. It's the opposite of art.

His lyric to his fans is 'sometimes despite the fact I am rich some of your girlfriends or daughters I want to fuck refuse and that makes me sad.'

Boo fucking hoo

[Terry]

The accidental genius being that truth told the difference in taste between shitty tequila and stupid expensive tequila is marginal and the whole thing is bullshit.

So he doubles down on his luck and then writing lyrics comes up with the idea of connecting with his audience by writing an ode moaning that there is a girl he wants to fuck that still won't let him even though he is much richer than her boyfriend????

It's the opposite of fucking heart, romance, escapism, anything. It's the opposite of art.

His lyric to his fans is 'sometimes despite the fact I am rich some of your girlfriends or daughters I want to fuck refuse and that makes me sad.'

Boo fucking hoo

Well, it's just the lament of the entitled (poor me, I have so much more than most yet I didn't get everything I wanted) in song form. Then again, it's about what I'd expect, lyrically and attitudinally, from a right wing businessman who is a rock star in his spare time.

While I used to have a handle on who Hagar's audience was and who thought Sammy Hagar was cool back when he joined Van Halen - a predominately male audience comprised mostly of jocks/athletes who were a bit thick in terms of intelligence (going strictly off my own high school observations) - I can't say as I'd have a clue what type of person would pay money to see Hagar today, thought doubtless people still do. Is it just these same jock lunkheads from thirty years ago who are now in their late 40s? I've never met a hardcore Sammy Hagar fan before, ever, though doubtless such people exist. All I have met, particularly since Hagar left Van Halen in 1996, are some people here and there who went to see Hagar live but weren't what I would characterize as diehard Hagar fans, but rather fairly casual: they are familiar with his better-known material and the better-known Van Hagar material and go to his shows to have a sort of half-assed Parrothead drunken night out.

[twonabomber]

I can't say as I'd have a clue what type of person would pay money to see Hagar today, thought doubtless people still do.

In the weekly email from the Hard Rock Rocksino they had a presale code for The Circle. Just pulled up the general sale on Ticketmaster. First 13 rows in the center section are sold out. First 6 rows in the side sections are close to sold out, there are some accessible seats in those areas. Floor seats are $139 or $99, depending on how far back. And some clowns are re-selling, asking close to $200! Bleacher seats are $85 and there are about 160 of those left.

Show isn't until October. I wouldn't be surprised if they run a twofer or discounted tickets in September. I'll check back in a month and see what they have. It's the first show after the Cabo birthday party so they should at least be rehearsed. Unfortunately that doesn't mean the songs are any better.

[twonabomber]

Guy claims "I don't need the money" and tickets are $85 to $140. Maybe Vic needs the money. I'm sure Jason Bonham is doing ok on Zeppelin royalties.

[Terry]

In the weekly email from the Hard Rock Rocksino they had a presale code for The Circle. Just pulled up the general sale on Ticketmaster. First 13 rows in the center section are sold out. First 6 rows in the side sections are close to sold out, there are some accessible seats in those areas. Floor seats are $139 or $99, depending on how far back. And some clowns are re-selling, asking close to $200! Bleacher seats are $85 and there are about 160 of those left.

Show isn't until October. I wouldn't be surprised if they run a twofer or discounted tickets in September. I'll check back in a month and see what they have. It's the first show after the Cabo birthday party so they should at least be rehearsed. Unfortunately that doesn't mean the songs are any better.

And that's a 2,600 seat venue, if I'm reading the capacity correctly?

And assuming the longtime conventional wisdom regarding the fervor of rock fans in Cleveland (am not taking the piss here, either: am not anti-Cleveland by any means) remains true today, I'd imagine Hagar fronting a band that has Michael Anthony and Jason Bonham should manage to fill such a venue...although those ticket prices you quoted do seem to be a bit on the high end at first glance, $50 a pop is pretty much the ultra low end baseline price for seeing a name act these days, or an act that has famous musicians. So, I guess $75 a pop and up isn't such a stretch for those who would want to see it.

Personally, looking at the other acts playing there this fall, I'd rather go see Gordon Lightfoot than Sammy Buffett's Margaritaville-lite Rock Star Cabo Revue (or whatever the fuck his band is called): Lightfoot has better songs.

[Golden AWe]

You too, all, thanks! Running a family, being a editor-in-chief for the biggest hockey web magazine for five years, doing two jobs and at the moment writing my second book. So I've been keeping busy. Got married and partly managed to ruin it too, keeping so busy. 😁

Van Halen and DLR have stayed on my radio. I've also had time to finally get to know some old bands I didn't have time before: Rush, Steely Dan, Kraftwerk and many albums from great artists I knew but didn't have all the albums before: Zappa, Beck, Jethro Tull...

Hi Golden Awe, where have you been? Long time no see... Lost in the Laponian forests or half-drowned in one of your thousand lakes?

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