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Got this at another forum. There is some serious truth here, and amny if not all real musicians out there have witnessed this phenomenon I am sure (I know I have):
LOCAL CELEBRITY DISORDER (LCD) It's definition, cause and overthrow.
The dynamics and meaning of Local Celebrity Disorder, which we will refer to as LCD, are as such: Unaccomplished, undeserving local "musicians" who systematically perpetuate myth of their success, instrument domination and celebrity status. The communities where this ailment is most present are usually small and susceptible to the web of deceit said musician casts using; self-financed cd's (passed off as nationally recognized albums) t-shirts, stickers(some of the extremely fucked have a batch of panties printed up), press and radio exposure and the falsification of resume and credentials, for example, I have been a "support act" for the band Exodus, this does not however, give me license to claim to have worked with them in a collaborative context. We will address the four archtypes present in LCD 1.The pretend album
2. The pretend fans
3. The pretend artist
4. The pretend talent.
THE CAUSE OF LCD. Have you ever turned on your radio and heard the same local artists spewing the same grandiose claims time and time again? Have you ever wondered why you see your community plastered with flyers of "local boys done good" advertising the "fucking" metal concert of the decade, usually held at a public park bandshell, an Elks/Eagles lodge or simply an inept tavern that lacks even the structure/compatibility to host a band? Have you opened your newspaper to see, yet again, the same local faces comparing their accomplishments and income to that of a major label band? Worst of all, has your girlfriend's meddling bitch of a friend convinced her to attend so and so's big record release party? (which said musician has managed to turn into a yearly event).
Answer yes to just one of the above criteria and you've observed those inflicted with LCD. The cause of the ailment, the crux of the disease is the deep, sometimes subconscious realization that celebrity domination of your hometown is:
1. all there is.
2. all there ever will be.
3. all there is destined to be.
Knowing this, the infected individual decides he/she will not be denied "rock star" adulation and the web of ego driven deceit is spun over the hometown crowd. This appears to satisfy the afflicted's starving ego and offers some measure of relief, even if it is false. A placebo effect perhaps. There will be those (fans?) who join and perpetuate the illusion, and there will be those who purchase satellite hosted radio and wait for their favorite artist to appear in a nearby town.
Why am I so aware of this? I have observed it take place again and again through different bodies for over 20 years. We have the blues man, the blues prodigy, the Keith Richard burnout figure, the country star, the metal band, the christian band (particularly disgusting and arrogant here) and the ever dreaded coffee-house improvisational wizards from the planet Zoltron 5. Sometimes they are here, sometimes they are a few hours away with "here" as the designated target for bullshit.
THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK:
I have, in good faith, participated in local showcases wherein all manner of local celebrity are brought together in the name of a noble cause. Subsequently being sickened to witness some of our biggest "stars" engage in a decidedly lame jam(or ego, volume war). Perching themselves to writhe and "go through the motions" atop the highest, audience visual points of the stage in the name of raising money for the friendly blind woman in the front row (some irony here?). Rumour has it some required a "fee" after all. This assured my permanent absence from such events. I was very saddened, and while getting quietly drunk at the most hidden table in the darkest corner I could find, wondered if anybody else was the slightest bit annoyed.
This commentary, essay if you will, is not intended as a podium to trash my hometown and we must realize this sickness exists everywhere. In fact, it could be perceived as a long overdue defense for the quiet, prudent and down to earth working class. Those individuals who are "tired of hearing that fuckhead's bullshit" every time they turn on the radio for a commute to work. Those souls in quiet desperation who have to turn the dial when inferior local music is sandwiched between fantastic and entertaining tracks by Led Zeppelin and The Police. I have, despite invites, made it practice to keep my music out of local press, off of local radio and off the shelves of local record stores. It is not proper to cram your work down everyone's throat. If your product is worthwhile, it will be sought out and discovered by it's appropriate audience. The greatest thrill is to meet a fan who had no idea I even lived here. When local press and radio give "rock star treatment" to the undeserving they are not doing the said musician any favors. The musician's sense of self will distort and they, having become a rock legend at Ding Dong's bar and grill, will neglect their own musical progress. The focus shifts to image and sense of self within the community, grand club/bar entrance mannerisms and a hip rock lingo.
I receive many e-mails and believe I can speak for the musicians on the other side of the fence. Those people who are in their rooms with blistered fingers, sore arms, suffering in the name of attaining a proper and on-key vibrato, hovering over a sweat and blood stained drum machine or multi-track unit and dreaming that our fingers can one day deliver the music that is in our heads. When you truly feel these emotions you will attain "cool" as a built in default that everybody but yourself will recognize. Many will envy it because it is authentic.
There is nothing wrong in wishing to serve music to an audience, but there is something wrong with elevating yourself above, and sticking your nose up at a local fan-base. It is also not wise seeing that oft times, a local fan-base is all LCD sufferers will ever know.
SEPARATION FROM FANBASE:
Once the spell of local celebrity has been cast over the hometown, often the musicians begin to separate themselves from their fans, obviously to intensify the drug-like rock god effect. Any number of drinking buddies will volunteer for security guard duties at your heavy rock concert. Security personnel shirts are adorned by those who commit a sin worse than that of the would be rock star; basking in the reflected glory, albeit false, of their badass employer. Time to hide from the kids who bought your dumb cd and payed the ridiculous ticket price in a janitorial utility room dubbed as "backstage".
An unmistakable trademark in severe cases of LCD is using a support act to treat like shit even though they are both local and unknown, this is the singular focused point of breakthrough for the posturing primadonna, the illusion is complete. The last time I performed in my hometown I was very embarrassed over the massive posters of my name the Ice Cream shop owner put on his building. I made sure to personally greet, shake hands and visit with nearly every person that attended, I was in gratitude of my listeners, the experience was ours, not mine.
MY FATE:
My fate as a musician is a mixed blessing. I've never been stricken by LCD. I've experienced the cold and unforgiving record industry. Things get very interesting in your hometown when a modicum of international success (exposure) is attained. Your achievements are scorned and ridiculed and your inevitable career setbacks are devoured like juicy steaks by many of your neighbors. Usually you are completely and purposely overlooked. You are a "genius" when you are helping someone and "not the genius you used to be" when that help is withdrawn. You are "a talented musician but a product of bad management". Your "friends" are the worst, watch those fucking friends. Having experienced legitimate music business success(never financially) you become the most hated and unpopular musician in your community, especially if it is small and overrun with victims of LCD. Sometimes you can physically feel the ill-will directed your way.
THE CURSE OF HOMETOWN FAME:
Rejoice friends as it is not without hope. Sometimes nature steps in to even the score. The larger the local celebrity grows, the stronger the karmic lines and impenetrable walls, keeping he/she trapped and only to be known in the territory they lusted so viciously to dominate. I have at times been inundated with such massive amounts of fan mail from across the planet that the U.S. postal service have come to my door--- "what the hell are you up to?" I reply "just selling cd's" and then they assume I'm selling off a personal cd collection and I do not correct them. This conduct assures the continuity of such miraculous events to unfold. I would never, could never pester a hometown newspaper to print my picture and alert the community that I recorded some songs in my apartment (this occurs) and furthermore I would never drop a quote for the press to print alluding to the fact that anyone who doesn't like my new album sucks(this occurs).
OVERTHROW:
While I do not suffer from LCD, I am a victim of it's "overthrow". This means, if I did wish to perform for the precious few who "get it", the performance would be undermined by an LCD artist. Without fail, If I book a public performance, so does everyone else, with 20 times the advertising. Remember my embarrassment over the posters with my name on them? You should have fucking seen how I was one-upped by the "promoters" of Wyoming's hottest flat-picker, it would not be false to say his poster/billboard was almost literally bigger than the venue he played in. To be fair, to have LCD doesn't always mean to be without talent, however, if everyone in your nearby communities must be reminded often of your works and rewards and see your face promoted ad-nauseaum on the doors of every goddamn fucking conceivable place of business, I will call you to task. And of course, those who promote their shows to eclipse mine make sure to ask/tell their crowd angrily "now who's your favorite fucking metal band in Sheridan?!!" God fucking forbid another artist dare violate their territorial rule.
This is the truth.
JUSTICE:
Surrender to overthrow is a powerful message to the Universe, it means you recognize a very difficult rulebook than that of those who mock you. Justice has a silent, synchronized and unexpected arrival. It is particularly brutal because it is a custom delivery from the Seat of Power. It is my hope that this writing brings some peace and hope to those who are beaten down as musicians and music lovers by the greedy egomaniacs suffering from LCD. We shall present and accept music as a gift rather than a status symbol or license to be a butthole.
LOCAL CELEBRITY DISORDER (LCD) It's definition, cause and overthrow.
The dynamics and meaning of Local Celebrity Disorder, which we will refer to as LCD, are as such: Unaccomplished, undeserving local "musicians" who systematically perpetuate myth of their success, instrument domination and celebrity status. The communities where this ailment is most present are usually small and susceptible to the web of deceit said musician casts using; self-financed cd's (passed off as nationally recognized albums) t-shirts, stickers(some of the extremely fucked have a batch of panties printed up), press and radio exposure and the falsification of resume and credentials, for example, I have been a "support act" for the band Exodus, this does not however, give me license to claim to have worked with them in a collaborative context. We will address the four archtypes present in LCD 1.The pretend album
2. The pretend fans
3. The pretend artist
4. The pretend talent.
THE CAUSE OF LCD. Have you ever turned on your radio and heard the same local artists spewing the same grandiose claims time and time again? Have you ever wondered why you see your community plastered with flyers of "local boys done good" advertising the "fucking" metal concert of the decade, usually held at a public park bandshell, an Elks/Eagles lodge or simply an inept tavern that lacks even the structure/compatibility to host a band? Have you opened your newspaper to see, yet again, the same local faces comparing their accomplishments and income to that of a major label band? Worst of all, has your girlfriend's meddling bitch of a friend convinced her to attend so and so's big record release party? (which said musician has managed to turn into a yearly event).
Answer yes to just one of the above criteria and you've observed those inflicted with LCD. The cause of the ailment, the crux of the disease is the deep, sometimes subconscious realization that celebrity domination of your hometown is:
1. all there is.
2. all there ever will be.
3. all there is destined to be.
Knowing this, the infected individual decides he/she will not be denied "rock star" adulation and the web of ego driven deceit is spun over the hometown crowd. This appears to satisfy the afflicted's starving ego and offers some measure of relief, even if it is false. A placebo effect perhaps. There will be those (fans?) who join and perpetuate the illusion, and there will be those who purchase satellite hosted radio and wait for their favorite artist to appear in a nearby town.
Why am I so aware of this? I have observed it take place again and again through different bodies for over 20 years. We have the blues man, the blues prodigy, the Keith Richard burnout figure, the country star, the metal band, the christian band (particularly disgusting and arrogant here) and the ever dreaded coffee-house improvisational wizards from the planet Zoltron 5. Sometimes they are here, sometimes they are a few hours away with "here" as the designated target for bullshit.
THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK:
I have, in good faith, participated in local showcases wherein all manner of local celebrity are brought together in the name of a noble cause. Subsequently being sickened to witness some of our biggest "stars" engage in a decidedly lame jam(or ego, volume war). Perching themselves to writhe and "go through the motions" atop the highest, audience visual points of the stage in the name of raising money for the friendly blind woman in the front row (some irony here?). Rumour has it some required a "fee" after all. This assured my permanent absence from such events. I was very saddened, and while getting quietly drunk at the most hidden table in the darkest corner I could find, wondered if anybody else was the slightest bit annoyed.
This commentary, essay if you will, is not intended as a podium to trash my hometown and we must realize this sickness exists everywhere. In fact, it could be perceived as a long overdue defense for the quiet, prudent and down to earth working class. Those individuals who are "tired of hearing that fuckhead's bullshit" every time they turn on the radio for a commute to work. Those souls in quiet desperation who have to turn the dial when inferior local music is sandwiched between fantastic and entertaining tracks by Led Zeppelin and The Police. I have, despite invites, made it practice to keep my music out of local press, off of local radio and off the shelves of local record stores. It is not proper to cram your work down everyone's throat. If your product is worthwhile, it will be sought out and discovered by it's appropriate audience. The greatest thrill is to meet a fan who had no idea I even lived here. When local press and radio give "rock star treatment" to the undeserving they are not doing the said musician any favors. The musician's sense of self will distort and they, having become a rock legend at Ding Dong's bar and grill, will neglect their own musical progress. The focus shifts to image and sense of self within the community, grand club/bar entrance mannerisms and a hip rock lingo.
I receive many e-mails and believe I can speak for the musicians on the other side of the fence. Those people who are in their rooms with blistered fingers, sore arms, suffering in the name of attaining a proper and on-key vibrato, hovering over a sweat and blood stained drum machine or multi-track unit and dreaming that our fingers can one day deliver the music that is in our heads. When you truly feel these emotions you will attain "cool" as a built in default that everybody but yourself will recognize. Many will envy it because it is authentic.
There is nothing wrong in wishing to serve music to an audience, but there is something wrong with elevating yourself above, and sticking your nose up at a local fan-base. It is also not wise seeing that oft times, a local fan-base is all LCD sufferers will ever know.
SEPARATION FROM FANBASE:
Once the spell of local celebrity has been cast over the hometown, often the musicians begin to separate themselves from their fans, obviously to intensify the drug-like rock god effect. Any number of drinking buddies will volunteer for security guard duties at your heavy rock concert. Security personnel shirts are adorned by those who commit a sin worse than that of the would be rock star; basking in the reflected glory, albeit false, of their badass employer. Time to hide from the kids who bought your dumb cd and payed the ridiculous ticket price in a janitorial utility room dubbed as "backstage".
An unmistakable trademark in severe cases of LCD is using a support act to treat like shit even though they are both local and unknown, this is the singular focused point of breakthrough for the posturing primadonna, the illusion is complete. The last time I performed in my hometown I was very embarrassed over the massive posters of my name the Ice Cream shop owner put on his building. I made sure to personally greet, shake hands and visit with nearly every person that attended, I was in gratitude of my listeners, the experience was ours, not mine.
MY FATE:
My fate as a musician is a mixed blessing. I've never been stricken by LCD. I've experienced the cold and unforgiving record industry. Things get very interesting in your hometown when a modicum of international success (exposure) is attained. Your achievements are scorned and ridiculed and your inevitable career setbacks are devoured like juicy steaks by many of your neighbors. Usually you are completely and purposely overlooked. You are a "genius" when you are helping someone and "not the genius you used to be" when that help is withdrawn. You are "a talented musician but a product of bad management". Your "friends" are the worst, watch those fucking friends. Having experienced legitimate music business success(never financially) you become the most hated and unpopular musician in your community, especially if it is small and overrun with victims of LCD. Sometimes you can physically feel the ill-will directed your way.
THE CURSE OF HOMETOWN FAME:
Rejoice friends as it is not without hope. Sometimes nature steps in to even the score. The larger the local celebrity grows, the stronger the karmic lines and impenetrable walls, keeping he/she trapped and only to be known in the territory they lusted so viciously to dominate. I have at times been inundated with such massive amounts of fan mail from across the planet that the U.S. postal service have come to my door--- "what the hell are you up to?" I reply "just selling cd's" and then they assume I'm selling off a personal cd collection and I do not correct them. This conduct assures the continuity of such miraculous events to unfold. I would never, could never pester a hometown newspaper to print my picture and alert the community that I recorded some songs in my apartment (this occurs) and furthermore I would never drop a quote for the press to print alluding to the fact that anyone who doesn't like my new album sucks(this occurs).
OVERTHROW:
While I do not suffer from LCD, I am a victim of it's "overthrow". This means, if I did wish to perform for the precious few who "get it", the performance would be undermined by an LCD artist. Without fail, If I book a public performance, so does everyone else, with 20 times the advertising. Remember my embarrassment over the posters with my name on them? You should have fucking seen how I was one-upped by the "promoters" of Wyoming's hottest flat-picker, it would not be false to say his poster/billboard was almost literally bigger than the venue he played in. To be fair, to have LCD doesn't always mean to be without talent, however, if everyone in your nearby communities must be reminded often of your works and rewards and see your face promoted ad-nauseaum on the doors of every goddamn fucking conceivable place of business, I will call you to task. And of course, those who promote their shows to eclipse mine make sure to ask/tell their crowd angrily "now who's your favorite fucking metal band in Sheridan?!!" God fucking forbid another artist dare violate their territorial rule.
This is the truth.
JUSTICE:
Surrender to overthrow is a powerful message to the Universe, it means you recognize a very difficult rulebook than that of those who mock you. Justice has a silent, synchronized and unexpected arrival. It is particularly brutal because it is a custom delivery from the Seat of Power. It is my hope that this writing brings some peace and hope to those who are beaten down as musicians and music lovers by the greedy egomaniacs suffering from LCD. We shall present and accept music as a gift rather than a status symbol or license to be a butthole.
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