Failed Musicans

[cadaverdog]

Sounds like another one I heard called "The Way To My Heart Is Through My Pecker".

[PETE'S BROTHER]

i'm a successful musician. I can play part of the bass line from "smoke on the water". I also do a poor cover version of the drum solo from "wipeout" on a desk or table.

chopsticks on the keyboard?

[cadaverdog]

chopsticks on the keyboard?

Whistling the theme song from "The Andy Griffith Show"?

[Hardrock69]

There you go. You are not a "failed" musician.

[Hardrock69]

For anyone not familiar with the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series, here's a little background on the Vogons.....

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning " four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine--in a desperate attempt to save life itself--leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Samuel Roy Hagar of Fontana California, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

[Angel]

I am a proficient steering wheel tapper. And my singing sounds great in my inner ear. SUCCESS!

[Kristy]

You know, there really is no such thing as a "failed musician". Why the troll made that phrase up and is using it as an insult is pretty laughable.

Actually, the term came from an interview I read that featured Frank Zappa.

So go and fuck yourself 'Tardrock

[Hardrock69]

Hey Angel, if you can humm to yourself. Or get busted at the stop light when you are singing at full volume, forgetting your window is rolled DOWN.

Or tap your fingers. Hey.....a song in this world beats crying....

[Hardrock69]

Some people..........the only music they can make is the sound of 3-year-olds crying in frustration......

[ashstralia]

i like Larry Pierce... he's a funny fucker...

[Barney G]

I as a real musician don't regard any of my mediocre guitar playing as my greatest musical achievement.

It was in 1992 when a group of us was waiting outside an elevator in Greenmount tower Coolangatta. They only called it a tower because there wasn't a marketable word for mid sized eyesore. Think of an architect who took inspiration from a planters wart.

It was a Christmas party.

I suggested to the crowd of inebriates that we should see how many people we could stack in the elevator only to regale them with a 4 octave 37 second fart once the doors closed.

I have played in many bands but never achieved that same 100% audience reaction again.

Also ** I regard the chipmunks as musical failures**

[ashstralia]

Agree indeed, Barney. I measure it all against the availability of an old Rolls Royce and a swimming pool.

Old Fucking School!!!!