What are the worst lyrics that you've EVER heard?

[Anonymous]

Whether he's standing in a leather thong or onstage the bass player always looks really awkward like he's in Quantum Leap and just arrived in that situation...

Yeah, he does seem take himself a bit too serious. The other guys, especially Eric, always look like they're just goin' along for the ride & are having tons of fun with it, but Joey always looks like the whole thing is no laughing matter.

He IS the driving force behind the band & writes most of the sometimes jaw dropping compositions, so... let him do his stuff, at least he gives good material to the fans on a regular basis.

Hey, how about a thread about the cheesiest REAL musicians you ever saw on stage? Granted, Joey DeMaio & Rob Halford would throttle all contenders, but still...

Cheers!

[VAiN]

I'm sure Haggar and Poison won't get a free pass in this thread...

I've said it before and I'm sticking to my guns on this one..

van hag's source of infection has the worst lyrics I have ever had the displeasure of hearing.. It's not just that they're beyond moronic, but when attached to the Van Halen name it really compounds it.. Hard to believe this timeless gem was captured in 1 take.


Take one
(One, two three, four)

Hey!
Alright!
Woo!
How 'bout 'cha now, come on!
Oh yeah!
Dig it! That's right
Is everybody ready? Let's go!

(Movin' up and down) Up 'n down
(Round and round) Oh, round and round
(Movin' up and down) In 'n out
(Round and round) Yeow!

Crank it! Blow out!
Uh! Ouch!
Help me
Now flip on over
Oh baby, you know that I like it
(Woop! Woop! Woop!)

(Movin' up and down) She choked the chain
(Round and round) She got the hook
(Movin' up and down) Can't get away
(Round and round) Ohhhhh!

Fever starts to climb, reaching 105°
I need another shot o' your love

Love! Love is the source (of infection)
Love! Love is the source (of infection)

Hey, Eddie!
Say what?
Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about
Wax it on down
Woo!
Ready, set, go!

(Guitar Solo)

Oh yeah

Woo!
That's right!

Love, love is the source (of infection)
Love, love is the source (of infection)
Love, love, love, love is the source (of infection)

(Guitar Solo)

Love, love is the source (of infection)
Love, love is the source (of infection)

(Guitar Solo)

Love, love is the source (of infection)
Love, love, love, love is the source (of infection)

[Va Beach VH Fan]

I'll see your Source of Infection and raise you a Up for Breakfast !!

Well!
She treat me like a personal Jesus
Got the hand...put it where its gonna heal ya
Got the finger...put it right there on the trigger
Well, pump it up, pump it up
Baby make it bigger

Well... Im Going crazy
Pumping it up, pumping it up
(ewww ohhh ya)
It's gonna heal ya

She put the cream in my coffee (first thing in the morning)
Put that butter on my biscuit (honeydew my melons)
Cherries on bananas (gonna need a second helpin')
You know I'm up for breakfast so early in the morning

Lock the front ...Leave the back door open
Hot tub loosen up ...baby been soaking
Been tokin'...been sippin'
Slip slide slippin ... all got me tripping

Well... Im Going crazy
Keeping it up... pumping it up, pumping it up
Aint gonna kill ya

She put the cream in my coffee (first thing in the morning)
Spread that butter on my biscuit (honeydew my melon)
Put berries on bananas (I need a second helping)
That's why I'm up for breakfast so early in the morning

Wake me up babe
Hold me up, wake me up... Gotta get up, gotta get up, gotta get up, gotta get up.

[GUITAR SOLO]

She put the cream in my coffee (first thing in the morning)
Spread hot butter on my biscuit (honeydew my melon)
Like them cherries on bananas (gonna need a second helping)
Thats why I'm up for breakfast so early in the morning

Got bacon on the table (first thing in the morning)
Squeeze some honey on my biscuit (honeydew my melon)
Spread some cream on my bananas (I need a second helping)
You know I'm up for breakfast so early in the mornin'


Wake me up babe
Wake me up babe
Lift me up baby
Gotta get up, Gotta get up
black coffee first thing in the morning Gotta get up

[Never was]

Anything by Joe Elliot has to be in this conversation

[VAiN]

I'll see your Source of Infection and raise you a Up for Breakfast !!

Well played, sir! Its terrible, no doubt, but I have to stick with source of infection - the lyrics are like under 10 words total.. Up for breakfast must have taken upwards of 15 minutes to compose. It's a masterpiece next to the other one.

[Nickdfresh]

I think "Black & Blue" was voted the worst guitar solo by Rolling Stone or someone. But really it came down to the songs lyrics and overall creepy theme which was really the ruiner of Ed's guitar work...

[FORD]

Unfuckingbelievable....

...in more ways than one.

[FORD]

Jesus, I was in a bar where I heard the phrase I rarely hear anymore, "last call." After enduring bad rap and shit hip hop, I was rewarded with some fine rock and roll by none other than Van Hagar on the jukebox. "Why can't this be love?" I dunno Sam, maybe it's because you're a cunt and everyone hates you. Did some asshole really play "Mas Tequila" for fuck's sake?!

Well.... that's one way to clear the bar out at 2 AM. Genius move really.... the bartenders at the places I used to hang out just used all the tired old phrases like "you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" (which is so cliche it made it into a bad 90s song.... but not bad enough for this thread)

[Nickdfresh]

4am actually, we close late in Erie Co. LOL...

[cadaverdog]

You going to try and say quack like a duck was a masterpiece?

Was? It still is.

[fraroc]

It's all about Hagar's ET experience.

After his first rectal examination on the alien spaceship there was quite a lot of blood and fecal fluid so they inserted a tampon. The song refers to the moment that they removed it before taking him back down to earth and how much he loved it.

I thought everyone knew that?

Well, I haven't read his shitty fucking book in years. My absolute least favorite rocker bio, nothing but 200+ pages of him ripping on Eddie Van Halen and Ronnie Montrose for his own mistakes.

[sadaist]

Anything by Joe Elliot has to be in this conversation

I disagree. Some lyrics on Pyromania were very cool. Billy Got A Gun, Die Hard The Hunter, Stagefright....

[Matt White]

"Wham! Bam! Amsterdam!"............

and FUCK NO I ain't gonna google the lyrics to that flaming turd!!!

[Never was]

https://www.facebook.com/ThePoetryOfJoeElliot?fref=ts

[fraroc]

Pleasure Dome is probably the most acceptable Van Hagar song from my standpoint, And that's not saying much. AT ALL.