Some Popular 70's Bands I Find To Either Ghey, Stupid Or Both

[Kristy]

My wife tells me that I'm due some free time.

I start my prison rotation next week.


Not like it's relevant to the conversation. But what is?

[FORD]

I know, I was being sarcastic.

I sense you're more of a Chicago girl.

Chicago was great when they were as God intended - a power trio as good as Cream or the Jimi Hendrix Experience, who also happened to have a horn section. It's when fate (and poor gun handling) forced them away from that configuration that they went to total shit in such short order.

[DONNIEP]

And now it's time to slow things down a bit. Blonde hair, blue eye shadow a broken heart AND Swedish White Skin? This is enough to convert even the most strident Honkie Hater!

[DONNIEP]

I start my prison rotation next week.


Not like it's relevant to the conversation. But what is?

You'd better stock up on Abba and weed before then. I have a feeling you're gonna need both.

[binnie]

I start my prison rotation next week.


Not like it's relevant to the conversation. But what is?

We're having conversations at the Roth Army now?

I thought we just sat around in our pants hurling insults at each other - I didn't realize we were getting all fancy......

[DONNIEP]

We're having conversations at the Roth Army now?

I thought we just sat around in our pants hurling insults at each other - I didn't realize we were getting all fancy......

I usually do it with my shorts down around my ankles. Are you hitting on me?

[FORD]

You know one '70s band I've never understood the appeal of: Abba.

I worked in a record shop for years and they sold bucketloads of 'Greatest Hits'. Don't get it.

Shit.... Erasure dressed in drag doing ABBA covers was more entertaining than ABBA themselves.....

[binnie]

I usually do it with my shorts down around my ankles. Are you hitting on me?

No, I don't find honkies attractive.

[DONNIEP]

I start my prison rotation next week.


Not like it's relevant to the conversation. But what is?

Are you gonna be like Clarice in Silence Of The Lambs?? Please tell me you're gonna show up and do a bad Kentucky or Arkansas accent the whole time!

[binnie]

Shit.... Erasure dressed in drag doing ABBA covers was more entertaining than ABBA themselves.....

Jesus Fucking Christ, Ford! I'm gonna have nightmares after watching that.

[DONNIEP]

Shit.... Erasure dressed in drag doing ABBA covers was more entertaining than ABBA themselves

I'm sensing a pattern developing here. I can't quite put my finger on it....

[DONNIEP]

No, I don't find honkies attractive.

That's RACIST!!! And foolish. Honkies are awesome! And we dance really well too. Not that I'm asking you to dance. But ford might.

[binnie]

That's RACIST!!! And foolish. Honkies are awesome! And we dance really well too. Not that I'm asking you to dance. But ford might.

FORD's the honkiest of all honkies. He doesn't dance on the dance floor; the dancefloor dances around him (whilst Erasure plays in the background).

[Kristy]

I didn't realize we were getting all fancy......

Oh yeah. I'll be sitting in on hearing boards on both State and Federal institutions. The first one I'm going to is Federal where Rod Blagojevich is doing time; a 12 year sentence without parole. So there's the Chicago connection.

Sucks for us little people. A whole laundry list of restrictions. Like I cannot wear a dress, skirt or blue jeans; no make up; no eye contact with prisoners (not even trustees); no unsupervised conversation; any questions I have must be written down; no cell phones, cameras or computers (unless under supervision); no pens, jewelery, hair pins, and can only wear my glasses under supervision.

[FORD]

Jesus Fucking Christ, Ford! I'm gonna have nightmares after watching that.

Well, you were warned that they were in drag. Not like the actual chicks in ABBA didn't dress like drag queens themselves.

Most ironic thing about this, is that Vince Clarke is apparently a happily married heterosexual. Last thing you would expect from a guy who was a founding member of Depeche Mode, Yaz, and Erasure.