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"If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992
I have one which was kind of covered but how about when you lose something, are looking for the item and someone says "Well, where was it the last time you had it?"
Fuck, if I knew that it wouldn't be fucking lost!!!! LOL!!!
Here are a few of my favorites and the responses I gave:
Them: Lose your wallet?
Me: Yes
Them: Oh yeah! Where?
Me: It's under a seat cushion on the couch but I ain't gonna look there.
Changing my flat tire.
Them: Have a flat?
Me: No, I just like to rotate my tires every 10,000 miles no matter where the fuck I'm at.
Drunk and pissing on the street corner.
Cop: What in the hell are you doing?
Me: Well officer, I hear the world goes around every 24 hours and I'm waiting on my fucking house. It won't be long cause there goes my neighbors!
My mother always said "you talk like a sausage" Huh? What the fuck is that?
My ex-wife was fond of "if it is to be it's up to me and if it's up to me then it is to be!" I always felt more like "If it's up to me then it ain't gonna fucking happen!"
Originally posted by fe_lung My mother always said "you talk like a sausage" Huh? What the fuck is that?
My ex-wife was fond of "if it is to be it's up to me and if it's up to me then it is to be!" I always felt more like "If it's up to me then it ain't gonna fucking happen!"
I can see why she's your ex-wife. Mazel Tov on getting out.
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