Joke thread

[canadiandlrgirl]

A blond with two red ears went to her doctor, the doctor asked her what happened to her ears? "i was ironing a shirt and the phone rang-but instead of picking up the phone i picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief, "but... what happened to your other ear?"
"The son-of-a-bitch called back.":p

[RuzDNailz]

A boy asks his father what's the difference between theory and reality.
The father says to his son 'look, if you really want to know about the 2 then
ask BOTH your mother and your older sister if they would screw
the mailman for 1 million dollars. The kid asks his mom 'hey, mom would you bang the mailman for a million dollars?'. His mother replied 'yeah, for sure!'. 1 minute later he asks his sister 'yeah, I would do it! why not!'. The boy went to tell his father about the 2 saying yes and his father explained the definitions. 'Well son, theoretically we are sitting on 2 million dollars! Only problem is that
in reality, we are living with 2 expensive whores!'.

[RuzDNailz]

One day a man is sitting at home drinking a beer and watching the
game. His wife comes up from behind and wacks him in the back of
the head with a pot. He looks at her and says 'what the fuck was that
for!?' She shows him a piece of paper with a girls name and number
on it and says 'well, what the fuck is this?'. 'oh, that is the name of the horse I was gambling on last night at the track'. 'Oh, I'm sorry that's my bad'. The next night AGAIN with the same pot across the head! 'Hey, now what the fuck was that for!? Cut that out!'. 'Guess what? Your so-called "horse" just called earlier!'.

[RuzDNailz]

To all Chevy owners, this is a joke a Pro-Ford buddy of mine told me.
Don't get offended!

A young man enters a bar in Texas and orders a beer before taking a seat. An older gentleman stands up and starts bragging about how well he has done in the oil industry. "Yup! I am absolutely filthy rich to the bone! I own acres of land, own a string of businesses and I have so much property, that I can get up in the morning start my truck up
and get to the other end of my property just when night falls!"
The young man shoots back at the older fellow "hey, listen I know exactly how you feel! I used to drive a Chevy, too!"

[canadiandlrgirl]

A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where the lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she gets around to helping him he says "i'd like 99 condoms pleaz."
With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says, "99 condoms!?!Fuck Me!" To which the guy replies "Make it 100." :p

[FasterPussycat]

what time is it in your neck of wood, CG?

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by FasterPussycat
what time is it in your neck of wood, CG?

its time for you to STFU!

[FasterPussycat]

Fucking the fuck off, old hag Dyke!!!

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by FasterPussycat
Fucking the fuck off, old hag Dyke!!!

but .we're the same age, you might be older

[FasterPussycat]

how do you know that, granny?

BTW, I saw your daughter's pic in the pic forum!!

what's next threesome with max, you and your own daughter???

Tis, tis tis, what kinda mother are you???

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by FasterPussycat
how do you know that, granny?

BTW, I saw your daughter's pic in the pic forum!!

what's next threesome with max, you and your own daughter???

Tis, tis tis, what kinda mother are you???

you got some fucked up fantasy going on there in your head

you warped peice of shit

[FasterPussycat]

That’s your fantasy!!!
You are the one put your daughter’s pic!!!
FYI, I am not dyke unlike you, I love cocks too much for that!!!
Just look at your avatar, a transsexual looking (leather and whip or baton??).
need i say more!!!

[Dave's Bitch]

fasterpussycat the comment "what kind of mother are you" was a little much dont ya think

[canadiandlrgirl]

what do a clitoris,an anniversary and a toilot have in common?















Men always miss them

[canadiandlrgirl]

how is a woman like a condom?

she spends more time in your wallet then on your dick.....hehehe