Joke thread

[superdave]

.

[superdave]

the picture I submitted was a picture that was just taken of baaaad bobby

[Ozzy Fudd]

I had to mass mail that one 5 Stars to you great work

[superdave]

Thanks dude

[superdave]

Right back at ya

[Bob_R]

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked
robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.
Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in
because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy
daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in
tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother.

"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out" replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years
ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.

"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother
told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the
Mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came
out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog!"

[SoldMySoul4RnR]

What's black, blue & hates sex?

A RAPE VICTIM!

[canadiandlrgirl]

ORGASM TYPES


sex in a boat-oargasms
sex with a nerd-dorkgasms
sex at the entrance of your house-doorgasms
sex on the carpet-floorgasms
sex at the supermarket-storegasms
sex at a stephen king movie-horrorgasms
sex with a prostitute-whoregasms
sex while sleeping-snorgasms
sex while broke-poorgasms
sex for hour and hours on end-soregasms
sex with a nymphomaniac-ready for moregasms
sex on the beach-shoregasms
sex that isn't very satisfying-there's the doorgasms
sex durring an earthquake-tremorgasms

[canadiandlrgirl]

what do you say to a virgin when she sneezes

goes-in-tight

[thome]

scandalous .absolutely scandalous

[thome]

So i call down to the front desk of the hotel
I say " I GOTTA LEAK IN MY SINK"
Guy answers back go ahead the customers always right. Ha Ha

[RuzDNailz]

An unattractive lady come home after another date gone wrong
and goes into her room. She comes out 15 minutes later carrying
a vibrator and shakes her head and sighs deeply. Her father walks
up to her and says 'pumpkin, what on earth are you doing?'. Daughter says 'You know dad, I have had enough of men. I can never find the right
man if I tried. Seems like all I get is rejection and misery. This is what
I am pretty much married to'. 'No, pumpkin you are going about things the wrong way. That thing in your hand is just wrong'.
She insists, 'dad, this is pretty much the only husband I am going to
get...so if you please excuse me'.

The next night the daughter comes home from work tired and looks
all over the house for her father. 'dad? dad! where are you!?'. She
goes downstairs to the bar and finds her father with two glasses half
filled with some whiskey and the one has the dildo inside of it. She looks at the scene with disbelief and yells out 'dad! What on earth are you doing!?' The father turns around and replies 'well, what does it look like? I am having a drink with my son-in-law'.

[Bob_R]

Subject: The Italian Tomato Garden



An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his

tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.His only

son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a

letter to his son and described his predicament :

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my

tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a

garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you

would dig the plot for me. Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad, Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the

BODIES! Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning,FBI agents and local police arrived and dug

up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the

old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from

his son:

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best

I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Vinnie God Bless

[Bob_R]

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.

Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

[Bob_R]

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"