Eats, Shoots & Leaves

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  • LoungeMachine
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • Jul 2004
    • 32576

    Eats, Shoots & Leaves

    A panda goes into a café, eats a sandwich, and then takes out a gun. He fires two shots into the air and moves toward the door. Perplexed, the bartender asks him why he did that. "I'm a panda," he replies, tossing a badly-punctuated wildlife manual at the man. "Look it up." Inside, the panda's entry reads as follows: "Panda. Large bear-like mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."


    This is a great book. There are more than a few of us puncuation perfectionists in here, and this is a great read.

    There's actually a name for the comma in a list sentence, which precedes the "&"

    It's the seldom used "Oxford comma".

    As in: Van Halen is Ed, Mike, Al, and Dave.

    I also learned there's actually a name for what I refer to as "Pojospeak"

    The sentences that trail off in the ...

    The [...] are ellipsis.

    It's full of stuff I've wondered, or have forgotten from school long ago.

    Such as the "sic"

    I've always known what it meant, however had no idea of it's origin.




    Anyway, not to get all "Oprah book club" on anyone, but it's a good book. Pick up a copy in paperback. Read it in the can.


    -LM



    Originally posted by Kristy
    Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
    Originally posted by cadaverdog
    I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?
  • Ally_Kat
    ROTH ARMY SUPREME
    • Jan 2004
    • 7612

    #2
    didn't you have language arts throughout your education?
    Roth Army Militia

    Comment

    • binnie
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • May 2006
      • 19145

      #3
      Sounds like a good read...


      I will keep a lookout for it.
      The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

      Comment

      • LoungeMachine
        DIAMOND STATUS
        • Jul 2004
        • 32576

        #4
        Originally posted by Ally_Kat
        didn't you have language arts throughout your education?
        Yes, Ally, I'm sure I did.

        However except for the occasional "career day", I haven't stepped foot in a classroom in over 20 years. ["My dad used to be a rock star, but now all he does is sit around the house playing with things, he doesn't have a job anymore"] My kids pretty much stopped asking me to speak at their classes around grade 4.... LOL

        Which is why I bought the book. Some of us old fogies [sp?] need a refresher every now and again, Ally, but thanks for your concern.

        Should we stop reading books once we finish school?

        Should we not let others know when we find something worth reading?


        Punctuation, especially the your/you're debate is a constant flame tool on this site. I thought it was an appropriate book to suggest.

        But then so would beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

        -LM
        Originally posted by Kristy
        Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
        Originally posted by cadaverdog
        I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

        Comment

        • jcook11
          Commando
          • Sep 2004
          • 1281

          #5
          LOUNGE: I'm impressed, you actually get a book that is'nt mostly pictures! Who knew?!

          Comment

          • Ally_Kat
            ROTH ARMY SUPREME
            • Jan 2004
            • 7612

            #6
            yeah, well, I don't need to buy a book to re-teach myself stuff I learned every year from 1st to 12th grade. :D

            Originally posted by LoungeMachine


            But then so would beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

            -LM
            Oh noes, I didn't capitalize! *shakes in my booties* Please, everyone knows that grammar is different on the interweb, unless you're a journalist/news organization posting articles on the web. You need to look no further than Pojo-speak as an example, as they are the incorrect use of ellipses.

            I'm actually surprised that you didn't know what ellipses were
            (and yes, that's spelt correctly. Ellipses is the plural of ellipsis).
            Roth Army Militia

            Comment

            • Coyote
              ROTH ARMY SUPREME
              • Jan 2004
              • 8185

              #7
              Originally posted by LoungeMachine
              Should we stop reading books once we finish school?

              Should we not let others know when we find something worth reading?


              Punctuation, especially the your/you're debate is a constant flame tool on this site. I thought it was an appropriate book to suggest.

              But then so would beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

              -LM
              1. No
              2. No
              3. Looks like a good one, too.
              4. No habla ingles.
              Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

              Originally posted by Seshmeister
              It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

              Comment

              • Coyote
                ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                • Jan 2004
                • 8185

                #8
                We now return you to your regular programming...
                Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

                Originally posted by Seshmeister
                It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

                Comment

                • rustoffa
                  ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 8963

                  #9
                  I used to have this book called "Giant Pandas': Evolution, Tigers, and The Manchurian Province".

                  It was basically a veiled attempt @ solidifying some dipshit's theory of extreme variances' in climate effecting DYNASTYS'.

                  There's also a joke about some Panda trying to make bamboo Jambalaya that I can't remember now.

                  Comment

                  • LoungeMachine
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Jul 2004
                    • 32576

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Ally_Kat
                    yeah, well, I don't need to buy a book to re-teach myself stuff I learned every year from 1st to 12th grade. :D


                    Yes, you're so above it all.

                    We get it.
                    Originally posted by Kristy
                    Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
                    Originally posted by cadaverdog
                    I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

                    Comment

                    • LoungeMachine
                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • Jul 2004
                      • 32576

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Ally_Kat


                      . You need to look no further than Pojo-speak as an example, as they are the incorrect use of ellipses.

                      Not according to the book.

                      Miss no-it-all :D

                      Pojo is using them correctly.

                      Guess you're even smarter than the author.
                      Originally posted by Kristy
                      Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
                      Originally posted by cadaverdog
                      I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

                      Comment

                      • Coyote
                        ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 8185

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Ally_Kat
                        yeah, well, I don't need to buy a book to re-teach myself stuff I learned every year from 1st to 12th grade. :D
                        There's a dirty joke in there somewhere... But I won't go there.
                        Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

                        Originally posted by Seshmeister
                        It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

                        Comment

                        • LoungeMachine
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • Jul 2004
                          • 32576

                          #13
                          LMAO


                          This isn't about your fucking commas...

                          It's about my fucking cunt.
                          Originally posted by Kristy
                          Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
                          Originally posted by cadaverdog
                          I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

                          Comment

                          • LoungeMachine
                            DIAMOND STATUS
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 32576

                            #14
                            Note to self:

                            Don't let Ally know what you're reading, because she may mock and ridicule you for admitting that after 20 years out of the classroom, it's fun and interesting to revisit certain subjects.

                            By the way, Ally. I also studied history in grades 1-12, yet am reading some fascinating books that seem to differ from American Public School text books from 20 years ago.

                            Should I burn them?


                            Nevermind.
                            Originally posted by Kristy
                            Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
                            Originally posted by cadaverdog
                            I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

                            Comment

                            • LoungeMachine
                              DIAMOND STATUS
                              • Jul 2004
                              • 32576

                              #15
                              Originally posted by rustoffa


                              There's also a joke about some Panda trying to make bamboo Jambalaya that I can't remember now.

                              There's also a dirty version of the Eats, Shoots and Leaves jokes. It takes place in a whorehouse.

                              As if a panda carries that kind of cash...
                              Originally posted by Kristy
                              Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
                              Originally posted by cadaverdog
                              I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

                              Comment

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