How About Classic SNL Skits?

[Douglas T.]

<embed style="width:400px; height:326px;" id="VideoPlayback" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-5200652307277755874&hl=en" flashvars=""> </embed>

[Douglas T.]

MORE COWBELL!
<embed style="width:400px; height:326px;" id="VideoPlayback" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-9043576637174212674&hl=en" flashvars=""> </embed>

[Douglas T.]

VERY GAY as hell but good soundtrack!

<embed style="width:400px; height:326px;" id="VideoPlayback" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=180867911912294222&hl=en" flashvars=""> </embed>

[Douglas T.]

<embed style="width:400px; height:326px;" id="VideoPlayback" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-2733243579088628138&hl=en" flashvars=""> </embed>

[ELVIS]

Originally posted by FORD


Speaking of recent shows, about the only thing SNL has done in recent years that was truly funny was the "Barry Gibb Talk Show" skits.

Hahaha...:D

I never even heard of that!

Awesome, thanks...


:D

[ELVIS]

Originally posted by Douglas T.
Probably dating myself here:

THAT is gay...

[Vinnie Velvet]

I grew up on the 80s SNL, but did see the 70s stuff on re-runs, anniversary episodes, etc.

Classic stuff.

Of course, SNL these days is pretty much SHIT.

IMO.

[Hardrock69]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
Hey, you can always zip into a zip file and post it at Rapidshare.....NBC would never be able to delete it then....
:D

Yes, but which is better? Posting something you are sure is gonna get taken down? Or posting something without an embedded player that will stay there for much longer?
:D

I found a page the other day that was only a week or two old, with a list of the 50 greatest cartoons of all time, and youtube links for them. Almost all of them were Warner Bros. cartoons, and they all had the same message at youtube: This video has been removed at the request of Warner Bros. for copyright violations.

[fe_lung]

The Shmidts Gay ad was great. I've seen it on re-runs since then and they don't use the VH song anymore.

[Douglas T.]

Originally posted by ELVIS
THAT is gay...

MOST SNL is gay! ZAPPA ROCKS!

[Coyote]

Originally posted by Douglas T.
MOST SNL is gay! ZAPPA ROCKS!

Aw, hell yeah!

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Kkxf4OyBWIs"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Kkxf4OyBWIs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>



<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6j9cRJdIBN8"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6j9cRJdIBN8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

For those dumb fucks who don't recognize the guest performer on these... Hang your head in shame...

[Mr. Vengeance]

James Brown Celebrity Hot Tub

Alvin, The Stevie Wonder Experience

Just a couple of my faves.

[stringfelowhawk]

There's a skit I have seen only once a few years ago on E of two cast members(I forget who) were spoofing the stereotypes that Joe Pesci and Robert Deniro play in all the mob movies they do together. This was right after Casino came out I believe. I admit it was funny when the guy playing Pesci took a bat and started wailing on a guy like what happened to him at the end of the movie. But, what the cast didn't know was Joe Pesci and Robert Deniro were in New York at Deniro's place and they heard beforehand that SNL was doing a skit about them. So, like Barbra Streisand they show up unnanounced about midway through the skit and hilarity ensues. The skit stops cause the cast is caught completely offguard and for an instant its uncomfortable because it seems like they are taking offense to the stereotypes these guys are portraying in their name. You all know how good they are about keeping a straight face, I mean, everyone remembers "I'm funny how?" from Goodfellas and Deniro spoofing himself in Analyze This. They are explaining that they were acting and not actually like the people they play in the movies but actually get in character while they're doing it and needless to say it ends with the real Joe Pesci teaching his doppleganger how to swing a bat at someone's head.
Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!! Yet hardly ever seen as its not even on the anniversary dvd.

[Hardrock69]

Another prison type skit was with Garrett Morris, who played a prisoner up for a parole hearing.

So they talk a moment and then ask him:

"What is the first thing you are going to do once you are released from prison?"

And he starts singing really loudly:

"I'M GONNA GIT ME SHOTGUN AND KILL ALL THE WHITEYS I SEE....

I'M GONNA GIT ME SHOTGUN AND KILL ALL THE WHITEYS I SEE....

AND THEN WHITEY....WON'T BOTHER MEEEEEE......"


And then they drag him out the door lol....
:D

[Hardrock69]

Oh, here is the actual transcript, and the page I got it from has some photos:





75k: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore / Neil Sedaka

Lifer Follies

Warden.....George Coe
Director.....Peter Cook
Assistant.....Gilda Radner
First Prisoner.....Dan Aykroyd
Second Prisoner.....Chevy Chase
Third Prisoner.....Garrett Morris
Fourth Prisoner.....John Belushi

[ open on interior, Warden's Office ]

Warden: Well, I am aware of the success of this program in English prisons, and I'm certain we can make it work here. I must say I am impressed with your credentials. It's not often that a maximum security institution in the middle of Utah gets a full-fledged director from the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts to direct the annual prison show.

Director: Thank you, Warden. To my way of thinking, there is no better therapy for the man on death row than to work with his fellow lifer in harmony, for the enjoyment of all his neighbors. It seems to make life in these dismal places more tolerable for all. This is my assistant, Miss Thompson, who will take notes during the auditions. [ points to his Assistant ]

Warden: How do you do, Miss Thompson?

Assistant: Hello.

Warden: [ to the Director ]

Director: What play are you planning to have the men put on?

Director: "Gigi".

Warden: I beg your pardon?

Director: "Gigi".

Warden: I see. Well, there are seventy-three lifers here, each waiting to show you his particular talent. I don't suppose I have to remind you that these are desperate men, Mr. Marley. most of them would kill to get into this production.

Director: [ chuckling ] And many of them have.. ha, ha ha..

Warden: Miss Thompson, at the risk of being rude, I would suggest you button the top button of your blouse. Some of these men have not seen a woman in fifteen years.

Director: We're ready. Could we see the first prisoner?

Warden: [ nods, opens door to let in first prisoner ] Name?

First Prisoner: I'm Boyd Norman, 11764. I'm a structural steel engineer from Whitburn, Arizona, I'm glad to be here, and I'm serving twenty-five consecutive sentences of fifty years each.

Director: Ah, yes, Boyd, it says here that you stepped into a fmaily reunion with a flamethrower.

First Prisoner: Yes, I torched the whole place. Aunts, uncles, kids, cousins, sisters-in-law, nephew, nieces, wife, twenty-seven of them.

Director: I don't imagine you get much mail.

First Prisoner: Now, I'll tell you quite honestly, I know what I did. I participated actively in my own trial, acting as a witness for the defense and the prosecution. I set several legal precedents when I conducted a battery of simple psychological word cue tests on myself in court. I have a good grasp of current trends in psychiatry and psychopathology, and I'm going to be quite frank with you here, I'm glad I'm locked up. I'm glad you're here, too, it's about time we got a dose of culture around here for a change.

Director: And what will your audition piece be?

First Prisoner: Well, I dance with insects. I've studied zoology while I've been here, and I have some common household roaches here - Cuca blatteria, as they are called - and I'm just gonna lay them out here and sing a number from the show "The Night They Invented Champagne". And And I've trained them.. [ takes bugs out of jar and puts them on the floor, then starts to sing and dance and kill the bugs by jumping on them ] Igot plenty more! [ puts another bug on the floor, still singing and dancing and killing the bug deliberately ] You know, what's great is when you crush their prothorax. [ puts another bug on the floor and tries to crush it ] You ain't even gonna get an inch.. you ain't even gonna get an inch! [ two guards start to drag him out ] I swallow chihuahuas whole!!

Director: Very good physical presence. I think we might use him in the chorus.

Warden: Next! [ Second Prisoner enters ] Name?

Second Prisoner: Clyde, Sankyou.

Director: Sankyou. It says here you are serving a life sentence for kidnapping a family of four, child molestation, impersonating an officer of the Coast Guard, and setting fire to the only exisitng answer print of "To Sir With Love".

Second Prisoner: Yes, sir.

Director: What are you going to di for us, Mr. Sankyou?

Second Prisoner: I'd like to tell a joke, and then I thought I might play "Moon River" on the harmonica.

Director: Well, that would be nice.

Second Prisoner: Yes, well, sir, the joke requires a bit of audience participation. So, if you wouldn't mind, would you repeat my name again for me?

Director: Alright.. Clyde Sankyou.

Second Prisoner: You're welcome. Ha, ha!

[ Assistant laughs uncontrollably. Second Prisoner plays "Moon River" on harmonica, then suddenly stops playing and lunges for the Assistant. Everyone screams and pulls him off. ]

Director: I suppose that was part of the audience participation?

Second Prisoner: Sir, if I may redeem myself, I understand the play you're doing is "Gigi". I thought I might sing one of the songs from the original show.

Director: Go ahead, Mr. Sankyou.

Second Prisoner: You're welcome. [ sings ]

"Thank heaven for little girls,
For little girls wear tiny underpants,
And sometimes they pull their dresses over their heads,
And they go walking in a deserted lot without anyone else around.."

[ Second Prisoner lunges for Assistant again, as the guards drag him out of the office ]

Director: We'll be in touch, Mr. Sankyou.

Warden: Terribly sorry.

Director: Quite alright. May we see the next man, please?

[ Third Prisoner enters ]

Assistant: Name?

Third Prisoner: Garrett Johnson.

Director: It says here, Mr. Johnson, that you are serving a life sentence for first degree murder and insulting an officer of the law.

Third Prisoner: That's right.

Director: What are you going to do for us today?

Third Prisoner: I've been in dolitary for years now, and I've studied and developed my talent for writing music, and I've written lots of songs. Here's a song I'm gonna sing which is the sum of my philosophy. [ sings ]

"I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see,
I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.
When I kill all the whities I see, then whitey he won't bother me,
I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.
Then I'll get a white woman who's wearing a navy blue sweater.."

[ Guards pull him away ]

I belong to AFTRA!

Director: Wonderful sense of rhythm.

Warden: Next, please!

[ Fourth Prisoner enters with pianist ]

Warden: This is Mike "The Chef" Pontrello, alias Phil Harmonica, alias Johnny Bananas, alias Wesley Cunningham Aylsworth III.

Assistant: Name?

Fourth Prisoner: Steve Beshakas.

Warden: He is serving a life sentence for killing forty-three people at point blank range.

Fourth Prisoner: I was cleaning mygun. It was an accident. But the past is the past, and I believe I should be in this year's show because..well, I think this song says it all, and I'd like to dedicate it to all the wonderful people on the parole board. I'm not just saying that 'cause the warden's here. I mean it. By the way, I think the warden is doing one heck of a job. He's a great guy - let's hear it for the warden. [ everyone claps, as he begins to sing ]

"That's life - that's what all the people say
You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June
That's life, I can't deny it,
I thought of quittin' out, but my heart just won't buy it
If I didn't think it was worth a try,
I'd roll myself up in a big ball and die.."

[ Fourth Prisoner suddenly rolls onto the floor, then jumps up and lunges for the Director, trying to kiss him. The guards pull him off and drag him away ]

Fourth Prisoner: I'm gonna kill you! I love you!

Director: [ to Warden ] I think we've found our Gigi.

[ fade ]

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:q1FquZKKm9IJ:snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75klifer.phtml+SNL+Garrett+Morris+Parole+Shotgun+Whitey&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1