I didn't pay attention to the Chris Benoit deal 'cause wild animals suck.

[rustoffa]

First and foremost, the tragedy in Fayetteville over the past weekend was nothing short of shocking, and my thoughts and prayers go out to the families involved.


That being said, I thought I'd take this chance to share what transpired here over the last day or so.

Yesterday afternoon, the neighbor called to inform me that wolves were howling on the other side of the lake...seriously. I went, "_ _ _ _ _ _, are you sure it isn't the Great Danes?....they make alot of noise." This is where the shit get's interesting...she goes, "IT'S NOT THE GREAT DANES.....the only time they make noise....LISTEN TO ME!! THERE'S WOLVES OVER THERE!!" I told her it was probably coyotes'... that they're just looking for water 'cause of the drought. She yelled about the fucking lake being right there and shit....unbelievable. I told her I'd take the dog for a walk, and see what was going on. That's why she called...she went immediately into "thank you so much mode".....see, everything's fun and games 'til one of my dogs is some kind of fucking anti-hero.

Here we go....me strolling through the shortcut around the lake with scortched-earth-policy in both hands....one with a trigger, one on the end of a leash with cutters the size of your pinky. I didn't hear any wolves howling...nothing...not even coyotes. Know why I didn't hear what she thought was Wolves, that were Coyotes? I'm guessing it was due to what can only be described the hacking cough that happened on the way back! That's right!! A mama FOX was running WILD around the lake....she probably worried the howling Coyotes to hell and back earlier!! Speaking of hell, the hacking sound was driving my dog crazy....she started trying to communicate with howler monkey yelps and shit.....just spinning around.

When I finally made it back to the house, I told the little woman not to answer the phone...went on to explain that there was a Fox outside somewhere. She asked me if the fucker had our telephone number....that digressed into me telling her I wanted to leave this earth forever....fucking calculated details regarding beasts of the field knowing how to contact me!!

You guessed it, right about that time, the phone rang!!! It was someone wanting to talk to me!!! I get this:

......it's for you.

It was just someone wanting to inform me about the tragedy in Fayetteville.


On a lighter note? The Fox is still out there....hacking...coughing...no howling to report.

[Mr Badguy]

Yeah!

[rustoffa]

Total!!

[Viking]

A moth-eaten fox. Just kick it in the ass. It'll leave.

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by Viking
A moth-eaten fox. Just kick it in the ass. It'll leave.

The bastards are far too elusive. Did you know the gray fox can climb? It's been thundering here for hours...I hope it's in a fucking tree. That's hope...nothing more.

On a sidenote? I've done rigged up some shark hooks with beef liver on 'em...hanging about waist level. From small trees! You know the old sayin', if it don't kill ya, it'll kill what ails' ya? If everything works out, there'll be some horrific results....coyotes can smell that shit for miles....later on, the mama fox 'ell have dangling coyotes to chew on!!

Nightey-night!!

[VanHalener]

Foxes? Coyote? We have plenty of both.

Sometimes the smackdown is needed, PERIOD!

Maybe I should rephrase that considering...

Sometimes you need to control the situation and blow shit away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO0IVvXhl6g

http://www.appvoices.org/index.php?/site/voice_stories/the_ubiquitous_coyote/issue/533

"...Coyotes now live in every county in Virginia, Tennessee and North Carolina, say biologists employed by the three states. And while they have long been implicated in the deaths of sheep, goats and calves on rural farms, they are now among the usual suspects when pets—small dogs and cats—turn up missing in suburban and urban settings..."



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[Mr Badguy]

TOTAL!

[Viking]

I was born, raised, and lived in Maryland most of my life, and adopted Virginia as my home state after spending several years there. You get out into the Appalachian/Shenandoah hills, you have all sorts of critters, especially those making a comback - black bear, coyote, all that shit. Foxes have been around up there forever, like raccoons. When I was a little kid, we were the first house on the mountain ridge. Dad always had to dodge deer when driving up our street. They disappeared for a good 30 years; now, in the last five or so, I've seen them running through the neighborhood again after dusk during my holiday visit. And raccoons were the only thing we had to worry about getting into our garbage cans, until about three years ago. Mom's neighbor has about had it with black bears rummaging through her shit every evening. The bruins have gotten so bad, they've actually resorted to printing a seasonal bear report in the local paper, like most resort towns print their beach report. During mating season, people are hitting them on the highways and county roads, left and right. Now, our town is isolated in the Western Maryland hills and has a population of 25 grand, so there's always been wildlife around the periphery. But, between Draconian huntng restrictions and over-extensive species protection regulations, they bred themselves into a population size that was bound to conflict with human habitation. Urbanites don't get it and never will until they find Yogi ferreting through the 12th floor garbage chute in their apartment building like it was an uptown pic-a-nic basket.

[rustoffa]

I grew up in south Georgia. Way south....salt water alligators, running hogs, gigging innocent KOI in a small pond...you name it. One of my favorite stories from down there is when these Yankee dipshits got scared by a screeching panther at Pond #2. This is duck-hunting stuff....see, the old rice patties parallel to the Champney river are a prime destination for Ducks Unlimited aficianados. You've got Pond 1, 2, and 3. All three are accessed via dragging your John Boat and gear over a dyke. Not a fat lesbian, an actual dike. All three ponds exist due to revolutionary war era efforts to make a rice plantation near the ALTAMAHA river. The ALTAMAHA river is one river north of Champney, and had the oldest English fort in America looking over it.

Anyway, back to the ponds. Pond #3 is exclusive to locals....like LOCALS ONLY. The touros' would get pissed about not being able to access it.....cuntplaints to the DNR fell on deaf ears. Needless to say, lots of liquor in the night time would make motherfuckers restless. Myself and a couple other restless motherfuckers decided to go check in with the fuckers @ Pond #2 one night. They asked us immediately how we got there, and we explained that we walked...went on to explain that it was low tide and shit. They expressed disbelief @ our ability to navigate the marsh in the dark. I took this opportunity to explain the nature of scouting hogs when it wasn't duck season..and how fucking simple it was if you lived here. After hanging out and drinking for awhile, this really loud baby-screaming noise came from the land approximately 75 yards adjacent to Pond #2. Let me emphasize this.....REALLY LOUD. This fucker goes, "damn, that bobcat must be pretty close." This friend of mine went, "that ain't a goddamned bobcat....shut up and listen." A few minutes later, the same noise came from the low-tide marshland approximately 75 yards adjacent to Pond #2....directly behind ground zero. My friend started laughing, and some fucker just flipped out....saying the shit wasn't funny. I immediately explained that noone was over there making noises....that it was a Panther, and they were fucking this time of year. My friend laughed some more, and said bobcats were probably fucking too. The fucker that was flipping out asked my friend how the bobcat covered that much ground, in such a short amount of time....smarmy-like. My friend said something like, "I told you before that was no goddamned bobcat....the fucker is running around the same way we got here....a fucking bobcat's got itty-bitty legs!"

We eventually left before the tide got too high....so did the panther.

[Romeo Delight]

Russ!

Have you really exhausted all of the income potential of your lifestyle and outdoor pursuits?

Methinks you could become quite wealthy by offering a unique bed and breakfast experience...

Think about it! You could construct a glass structure to allow the visitors to catch glimpses of steely beady eyes in the night, looking for sustinence as the vacationers "sleep". You could even mike in the sounds from the lake as an added bonus to give them the full experience.

The duck hunting sounds incredible.

Wildlife management weekend...$250 US per night. Bring your own shotgun...ammo supplied.

I can fly down this weekend to help set it up...

[Viking]

rustoffa, I'm hip. I'm about an hour south of you, on the Hooch........been here for waaaaay too long. LOL

[rustoffa]

Grantville or further south? I quit putting in @ yellow jacket 'cause of the drought.