Hagar Predictably Runs His Boorish Yap In Revisionist History Memoir, 'Red'

[Kristy]

At some stage in your life, though, you go "I want my story to be told," and here it is. I think that’s why people are gonna be surprised when they read. You know we know all about Tommy Lee. We know all about Keith Richards. But, we don’t know that much about Sammy.

I can't speak for the rest of you but I'm fine with not knowing a god damn thing about Sammy. I mean, I can live out the rest of my years without knowing. I am more than at peace with that.

[hambon4lif]

I bet it pisses him off that they put that monosyllabic 80-proof nuclear Cheetoh on the cover instead of him.

No Dr. Hook song for fatso!

[Kristy]

I bet it pisses him off that they put that monosyllabic 80-proof nuclear Cheetoh on the cover instead of him.

That is beyond the pale of disgusting. Eeeew. Gigantor thighs riding a phallic rocket with an ass the size of Montana to match. And where did those boots come from? Texas State Fair flag girl team? Circa 1985?

There is only so much whale meat they can put on the cover, hambon.

[kwame k]

I bet it pisses him off that they put that monosyllabic 80-proof nuclear Cheetoh on the cover instead of him.

No Dr. Hook song for fatso!

...that and Van Halen has a huge font with Spammy's name in tiny letters......notice in the article that all the links/photos are to the current Van Halen lineup.

Considering the guy only did 10 years in Van Halen you'd think he'd get upset that in any interview, anywhere that's all that's mentioned.

[BITEYOASS]

HELLO? WINNING!

[chefcraig]

That is beyond the pale of disgusting. Eeeew. Gigantor thighs riding a phallic rocket with an ass the size of Montana to match.

Imagine the amount of thrust needed just to get that rocket off the launch pad with her straddling it.

[BITEYOASS]

DAVE'S SHIT EATTIN' GRINNING....



....RHYMES WITH WINNING!

[BITEYOASS]

Imagine the amount of thrust needed just to get that rocket off the launch pad with her straddling it.

I don't even think a Saturn V can pull that off.

[Terry]

Fuckin' Hagar.

Just has to try and keep his hand in the game with VH.

Probably figures it's been nearly three years since VH's last tour ended and the boys are having problems with Dave...that they can't get a record together with Roth, and since Mike's no longer in the band and therefore unable to personally carry Sammy's water to the Van Halens that he needs to send these messages via the media.

What a creative way for him to let the Van Halens know he's still available. It's very helpful of Sammy to let everyone know he's up for the gig. I wonder if he'd tour with the Van Halens if Ed said to him "um, okay, but Wolfie's still the bassplayer. Biff Malibu is not invited, and I don't want him showing up backstage, either."

[vanhalen1r2]

fuck him 100%

+1, Spambo is such a fucking cunt when talking about his jilted relationship with all things VH.

[Va Beach VH Fan]

How many times is Sambo gonna try to bullshit everyone with that 50-60 million albums crap ??

OK, here we go again:

5150 - 6 Million
OU812 - 4 Million
F.U.C.K. - 3 Million
Balance - 3 Million

That's 16 million fucking albums Bette !!!

But knowing Bette, he'll come back with "oh, the other 40 million came from overseas....

Yes, the Indonesian Van Hagarita demand is huge !!

[Hardrock69]

I really wish someone would say if they ran into Spamulus in person:

"Hey, quite a difference between the reality of 16 million Van Hagar albums ACTUALLY SOLD vs. your constant BS about '50-60 million' "

[Nitro Express]

That is beyond the pale of disgusting. Eeeew. Gigantor thighs riding a phallic rocket with an ass the size of Montana to match. And where did those boots come from? Texas State Fair flag girl team? Circa 1985?

There is only so much whale meat they can put on the cover, hambon.

It looks like she's fucking the tin man from the Wizard of Oz.

[ashstralia]

naaah, that's bender's penis.

[Seshmeister]

That is beyond the pale of disgusting. Eeeew. Gigantor thighs riding a phallic rocket with an ass the size of Montana to match. And where did those boots come from? Texas State Fair flag girl team? Circa 1985?

There is only so much whale meat they can put on the cover, hambon.

What happened to the sisterhood calling for realistic sized women on the covers of magazines?