The Roth Army Slingin' Pussy Bar and Grill

[MAX]

Originally posted by Eyes
Where can an old dog get some coffee around here!? ... lol

Hey, look mister, we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast. And we don't need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere. Is that clear? Or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer? :p

*Takes VH3 out of jukebox and smashes it to pieces*

[MAX]

Anyone heard of a shot called a "Wet Pussy?"

It's Stoli Raspberry Vodka, Raspberry Pucker Schnapps and Chambord.

It's shaken and a deep dark red.

Who wants one?

I'm serving them at Happy Howa.

[MAX]

Let's all sing a song.

Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on the table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a big fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!

[MAX]

Aiiight,

I've decided it's time for Happy Howa.

*Kicks in a funky ass drum beat*

*subwoofer tis' a thumpin'*

Who wants to dance toe to toe, cheek to cheek with moi?

DG... Dan... :confused:





"Toe to toe
Dancing very slow
Barely breathing
Almost comatose
Wall to wall
People hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacrailiac
Spinless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it's finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture

Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high
DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move to slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don't strain your brain, paint a train
You'll be singin' in the rain
I said don't stop, do punk rock

Man to man, body muscular
Sismic decibel by the jugular
Wall to wall, tea time technology and a digital ladder
No sign of bad luck in rapture

Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars
And now he only eats guitars, get up!"

[MAX]

Hey Eyes,

Even though I don't smoke, pass the bong ova heeya.

I could use a toke.

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by MAX


Who wants one?

I already have one...thanks

[MAX]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
I already have one...thanks

Grrrrrr...............

MA MA!!!

*baseball bat to the head voice*

Hey Ramsey, uhuhuh I was talkin' about a drink though. uhuhuhuh

[diamondsgirl]

Originally posted by MAX
Grrrrrr...............

MA MA!!!

*baseball bat to the head voice*

Hey Ramsey, uhuhuh I was talkin' about a drink though. uhuhuhuh

OK...then, I'll have a "Wet Pussy" with you Max.

uhuhuh

[MAX]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
OK...then, I'll have a "Wet Pussy" with you Max.

uhuhuh

You're purdy.

Can I buy you a drink and stuff? uhuhuhuh

[diamondsgirl]

sure and put some more Blondie on the juke box...

I dig that tune "Heart of Glass"

[MAX]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
sure and put some more Blondie on the juke box...

I dig that tune "Heart of Glass"

Now you're talkin'...

Care to shake it slowly and do that bump and grind to the tune?



"Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find much o' mistrust
Love's gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Much o' mistrust
Love's gone behind
In between what I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine
Love is so confusing, there's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you
It's just no good, you teasing like you do
Once I had a love and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find much o' mistrust
Love's gone behind
Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using please don't push me aside
We coulda made it cruising yeah
La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La La
La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La La
Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing only to find much o' mistrust
Love's gone behind
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh"

[diamondsgirl]

Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh

thats the shit, right there

[MAX]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh

thats the shit, right there

No lie, that song came on the radio right after I left the pool today. Then I put "The Best of Blondie" in my cd changer and cranked "Rapture."

[diamondsgirl]

I think its a great little tune, catchy as hell

I also like Call Me

[MAX]

Originally posted by diamondsgirl
I also like Call Me

Me too. Especially the part in French.