The Sheep Pen

[bueno bob]

OK, I got the fax off to the temp service...I interviewed my prospective 2nd...

AND, WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO, I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE SHEEP PEN NOW HAS A BRAND NEW FULL TIME EMPLOYEE!

You may remember him, he temped with us a while back, but his work was QUALITY! Carl, Ed and Merle can show him around, get him re-adjusted with the place and his responsibilities here (which includes, essentially, gutting, dismembering and disembowling whoever I send him and that's about it).

He's not interested in booze all that much - doesn't care about girls, either (he lives underground, you know)...so I think he's going to go a LONG WAYS into keeping the rest of the hired help in line.

It is my HONOR to introduce you to the latest sheep pen employee - the one, the only, THE LEGENDARY DOCTOR SATAN!

Oh, Gay-J...you picked the WRONG WEEK to get inducted, I'm afraid...

[Nickdfresh]

Welcome aboard Dr. SATAN. You need to fill out your W-2 forms before you can put a hurtin' on the sheep!

[bueno bob]

Do we have any copies of the insurance policy left?

[bueno bob]

Never mind...this guy doesn't look too busy, I'll have him search the office for the insurance forms...maybe the employee handbook, too, while he's at it...

[bueno bob]

OK, W-2's have been signed, the good ole Doc's got a copy of the Employee Handbook, and we're IN BUSINESS! Doc, your first job is to make sure the shit is cleaned out of the sheep pen, and by the time that's done, the sheep are going to need to be fed!

Look out for Merle, though - he may ask you if you need him to take any "dick-tation"; SAY NO, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Anyway, the sheep are out in the field, but Gay-J is still in the process of indoctrination; right now, I've got him down in the dungeons with a copy of this playing on repeat...after lunch, he's going to need to be hosed down and sheared slightly, but Ed'll take care of the majority of that.

Any questions, Doc, I'll be in my office.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
I love to see the pen back in action !!!

Come join the fun!

[Rikk]

WELCOME TO THE PEN, DR. SATAN!!!

[Matt White]

What a week! Ed is havin' to sterilize the entire PEN after the 'festivities" for Max & Bob! Careful what you touch & where you sit! EWWWWWWW!!!

[Nickdfresh]

Jeez Dr. Satan! You are the kick in the ass this place has needed! Would you like a cup of coffee, you take it black? Good man...er...thing! That's how I like a steaming cup of joe, nothing between me and my caffine. You have been a tremendously hard worker so far! But dude, you need to PACE yourself! At this frantic rate, you have a heart attack in no time!

Pace yourself man. You don't want to blow your wad in the first half! I mean I really like the new ideas you have brought to the PEN like performing medical experiments on the sheep. I like the way you put shards of glass in Baltimoreorioles hoof! He now walks slightly less effeminately! And we can monitor the fascinating progression of his festering front leg. Hell, maybe people will even think he is not a latent homosexual anymore.

And oh man, putting ROABANUS into that freezing vat of water, well that has much in the way of redeeming medical science! Now we know
how long it takes for a Hagar fan to wake the fuck up when placed in an ice bath.

But I draw the line at your attempts to "REANIMATE" Wildfire. Some fuckers are better off dead. That inbred tool isn't worth the plutonium 234 it takes to supercharge his dead, maggot ridden corpse! But okay, use your discretion here, I believe in emphasizing personal initiative. Do what you think is best...But I promise you this, If that asshole rises from the dead and begins saying shit about Dave again, TWO WILL DIE THIS TIME!


Dr. Satan extolls the greatness of Classic Van Halen to a SHEEP!

[Nickdfresh]

Bob!? What the fuck man? Back two days, and this shit suddenly appears in the PEN entertainment center? What the fuck dude?! What will the SHEEP think if they see this? YOU'RE supposed to set the example man! Where have you been on your hiatus?

[Matt White]

Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Bob!? Where have you been on your hiatus?

I think that he was attending a BUGALOOS convention in Peoria!
Heavy, man!

[bueno bob]

Well, between the Bugaloos convention and catching the latest incarnation of the Bay City Rollers live at the Best Western, it's been a full month and a half...those B.C.R.'s and those Bugaloo's REALLY know how to tear up a party, I tell ya...then I come back here and you all got this birthday blowout going for me and Max...it's kinda tiring...it was all I could do to keep up with the hordes of whores and gratuitous amounts of alcohol flowing my way, but - I've survived, and there's work to be done.

Oh Doc? Have you begun "freelancing" on Gay-J yet? From what I hear, you've had a busy first day with that ass-clown...

[Matt White]

Now, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT!!!!

Some good 'ol SHEEP PEN ASS-KICKIN"!!!

[bueno bob]

OK, um...I appreciate what you're doing Doc (trust me, I do), but like good ole NickieD said, you have to pace yourself a bit...we don't want to kill them off too quickly, we've got a week with Gay-J yet...

Now, the scalpel incissions and subsequent salt insertion into the open flesh was great! However, dislocating the patella's might have been a wee bit on the extreme side. You think you could put those back into place correctly? GREAT! He is going to have to wander the field with the rest of the herd for a bit this week...I know, I know, you don't actually get OUTSIDE much (um...at all?), but believe me, sunlight DOES actually do a bit of good for their spirits, and we have to keep the sheep in some sort of positivity if their behavioral correction is to progress according to schedule and without any difficulties.

By the way, how are you doing for oxygen, is your mask filtering everything OK? Getting enough to breathe well? No foggy vision, no light-headedness? GREAT! I know that failed attempt at hanging kinda worked you over a bit, so I want to make sure we here at the Pen are doing all we can to present you with a positive work environment which won't be detrimental to your health, so if there's anything you need (other than more victims - trust me, there's never any shortage of those), you just holler at any of us and we'll see to it right quickly, cool?

Hell of a first day, Doc! HELL of a first day!

Anyway, just to let you know, we're all here for you, so if you have any ideas, suggestions, or need anything special, give any of us a holler. Hey, if you want to throw up some more ingenious work of yours, feel free to lay it out here and we'll be glad to post it up for ya!

[Northern Girl]

RIKK MELTS MY HAAGEN-DAZS