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Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush are captured by an enemy army and sentenced to a firing squad. Bill Clinton is first in line and the troops raise their rifles.
"Ready!"
"Aim!"
Suddenly Bill shouts out "TYPHOON!" and the soldiers drop their rifles and panic. Bill jumps over the wall and escapes.
Al Gore is lead to the wall as soon as the soldiers recover. The troops raise their rifles.
"Ready!"
"Aim!"
Suddenly Al shouts out "HURRICANE!!!" and the troops drop their rifles and panic. Al jumps over the wall and escapes.
George thinks to himself "I got it! If I shout out a natural disaster, these guys'll panic and I can escape!"
George W. is taken up and placed against the wall.
3 guys are lost in the desert with no water. They're just about done for when they see a house in the distance. Knowing they can't all be seeing the same mirage, they get up to the house and bang on the door, pleading for help. A fat, ugly, mustached wart infested snaggletooth sea hag of a woman answers the door.
"Please ma'am," the one man says, "you've got to help us! We've been out in the desert for three days...do you have water?"
"Yeah," she says, "but one of you is gonna have to fuck me for it."
The guys are dejected...on a 1-10 scale, she's somewhere around a -6...finally, one of the guys gets some balls up and says "Guys, we're gonna die here...I'll do it. You guys chill out around back or something and I'll be back with some water."
He follows the woman into the house and to her bedroom. The woman stretches all 400 pounds of her out on the bed, closes her eyes and says "Alright, boy - fuck me!"
The guy suddenly panics and sees in the corner of the room a basket of corn on the cob. Quick thinking, he grabs an ear of corn and starts banging her with it.
The woman squeals and grunts, repeatedly orgasming all over the corn. As soon as she does, the guy tosses the ear out of the bedroom window and grabs a fresh one.
Finally, when she's exhausted, she opens her eyes and says "That was great! You can have all the water you want now."
The guy pops his head out of the window and shouts out "I did it! We got the water!"
The guys in the back shout out "Fuck the water! Keep the corn coming!"
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