The Sheep Pen

[Rikk]

Oh, this place will be kept clean and efficient...ready to go...from now on...

[Matt White]

I want those two slacker to have this place SPARKLING....

In honor of the recent events.......

The PEN crew need to get fired up again.....

I have an incentive program...................................

[Rikk]

If you have an incentive program, I want to know about it.

The PEN is now going to be tighter, stronger, more efficient, more confident and more loyal to the Army than ever.

The PEN is a force to be reckoned with.

And its Admins are all badass mofos that deserve their awesome reps.

[Thorman]

Originally posted by canadiandlrgirl
this is one of the best threads on the board
you guys are crackin' me up:D

I know...it is so invigorating...im truly thrilled at the prosepct

BAM

[Rikk]

Originally posted by Thorman
I know...it is so invigorating...im truly thrilled at the prosepct

BAM

THREE LOCK ROCK told me that he's leaving the group. I don't know if it's true, but if it is, that will be as devastating as John Lennon leaving THE BEATLES...

[Matt White]

Originally posted by Rikk
If you have an incentive program, I want to know about it.

The PEN is now going to be tighter, stronger, more efficient, more confident and more loyal to the Army than ever.

The PEN is a force to be reckoned with.

And its Admins are all badass mofos that deserve their awesome reps.

An incentive program for Ed, Merle, The Doc, Cos, Carl, Will,.....the entire crew. They need to take the fight to the enemy.
No more loungin' around The PEN....waitin' for a call to come in.....

I'll unvail it tomorrow.

[MAX]

Originally posted by Rikk
THREE LOCK ROCK told me that he's leaving the group. I don't know if it's true, but if it is, that will be as devastating as John Lennon leaving THE BEATLES...

Don't you mean Pete Best?

[Rikk]

Originally posted by MAX
Don't you mean Pete Best?

MARK ST. JOHN was the heart and soul of KISS.

[MAX]

Originally posted by Rikk
MARK ST. JOHN was the heart and soul of KISS.

Fuck KI$$.

Buncha sissy pants.

Wicked Lester was the shit.

[Rikk]

WICKED LESTER is the reason they got so big. All their fans after that were blind sheep.

[MAX]

Late Rikk.

I gotta crash my friend.

[Rikk]

* * * * * SHEEP PEN ANNOUNCEMENT * * * * *

The fearless moderator, RIKK, would like to congratulate not one but TWO fucking Sheep Pen Admins for hitting 10,000 posts today. I give you, BUENO BOB and MAX...


BUENO BOB

BUENO BOB is among the most loved and cherished posters at the Army. GARY COLEMAN once said of him: "Dat mudda is fat! So fukkin' fat!!" ALAN THICKE agrees: "The Army is a great place. But BUENO BOB is the greatest thing about it. Without him, the place would be shit." "I consider myself a sexual man," BOB says. "My sexual prowess knows no bounds. I wake up in the morning and play with my lightsaber. Then, while I'm showering (every four mornings), I close my eyes, use the 'force', and play with my lightsaber again. I like watching recent films with cinema greats like KIRK CAMERON or TRACEY GOLD, and then I begin to play with my lightsaber. It goes on for hours...the perfect circle. Who's scruffy looking? Not this piece of Sith." ALAN THE PANTHER once said of BUENO BOB: "Larg! I hate BUENO BOB. There are sorry sons of bitches, and then there's BOB." BOB has many hates in his life. One is STAR WARS and the other is sheep. But he joined the SHEEP PEN because he thought we like to make fun of real farm sheep...you know, the kind with real wool and everything. BOB's IQ was last reported at 68. He currently resides in JAKE'S DINER out on ROUTE 64 by GRAHAM'S WORMS AND AMMO. BOB is a Dark Lord of the Sith and the apprentice of the Emperor, the egotistical "tit" RIKK.

MAX

MAX is very proud of his devout Mormon lifestyle. MAX: "Basically, I married the mother of my children back in the day. And things were fine. But since then, I got bored, I needed some help around the house...so I married four more women. One of them was my first cousin, Oomfoofoo. She's a black tribal priestess from Nairobi. And she gives great head...well, it feels good. Mind you, even with five wives, I get erections when the wind blows because, frankly, I don't even have any skills getting my own wives into bed. I try and I beg, but they just want to have sex with each other. So, I get out the JVC videocamera and film it. In fact, RIKK is pretending that he's so happy to let me back into the Pen...but he's actually only doing it because I mailed him a copy of my latest film: FIVE WIVES AND A HARD-ON THAT NEVER GETS SATISFIED BY ANYTHING BUT A LEFT-HAND. Also, RIKK had to let me into the Pen because if he didn't, I told him I would post transcripts from his IM sessions with FASTERPUSSYCAT. It was quite hot and heavy. RIKK, a man who loves cats, really got his jiggy on...and this made his previous IM excursions with Army women look like a Fellini film with all the sex edited out." Uh, MAX is now a Pen Admin... Congratulations, MAX.



The only scary thing is the fact that it was the same day... This leads me to the idea that maybe this whole BILL & BOB ARE GAY AND HAVING A RELATIONSHIP theory is false...because this is some strange coordination between MAX and BOB. Maybe these two have synchronized their lives appropriately and are actually the homosexual Pen Admin couple in question.

Thus, I am offering a reward of $100.00 for any poster that can provide solid evidence that MAX and BOB are:

a) Gay.

b) Having a gay relationship.

If said evidence is found and implicates these two idiots, we will then gladly kick them out of the Pen to satisfy the more right-wing followers of our special group...


And now for something more heterosexual...

[50cent_ardman]

Silence disguised
I watch you
Show me the hurt
that haunts you
would you despise the thrill
If all you hide were mine?

I can't hold on any longer
These feelings keep growing stronger
Echoes that deafen the mind
will bury my voice in their wake

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

I've seen the path
the one you take
shows the truth
for you to make
This turn of phrase
we might not see
is the thirst of desire
found so easily

Try to push me 'round
the world some more
And make me live in fear
I bare all that I am
made of now
Attractive I don't care
'Cause even when I danced with life
no one was there to share

Does this voice the wounds of your soul?
Does this voice the wounds of your soul?

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

Tried to live the life
you live and saw
It doesn't work for me
I bare all that I am
made of now
Attractive, I can't be
Inside the Dance of Life is one
I'll never hold to me

You can't heal the wounds of my soul.
You can't heal the wounds of my soul.

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

Caught in a Web
Refused by the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning a cage
Denied and misread

[Shaun Ponsonby]

...and that concludes todays weather report.

[50cent_ardman]

In the constellation of Cygnus, there lurks a mysterious, invisible force: the black hole
of Cygnus X-1...

Six Stars of the Northern Cross
In mourning for their sister's loss
In a final flash of glory
Nevermore to grace the night...