The Relegeious Discussion Thread.

[ELVIS]

Jesterwords in this thread:


relegeious

relegeion

phycological

enviorment

manogamy

basicly

interpetation

beleivers

[ELVIS]

I have absolutely no belief in religion...

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by ELVIS
Jesterwords in this thread:


relegeious
<marquee direction=left>
relegeion</marquee>

phycological
<marquee direction=right>
enviorment</marquee>

manogamy

basicly

interpetation

beleivers

ELVIS,


You've got t2o get Jesterstar's consTITution.

Do you know how some stores say they are open 24 hours?

Well, Jesterstar is drunk 72 hours.

hitchWORLD1969 THE MOVIE

It can happen, it will happen, and we can make tit happun.




GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by ELVIS
I have absolutely no belief in religion...

..or relegeion..

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by Big Troubles
are atheists agnostics? Hmm..

No. An atheist, like a Christian, holds that we can know whether or not there is a God. The Christian holds that we can know there is a God; the atheist, that we can know there is not. The Agnostic suspends judgment, saying that there are not sufficient grounds either for affirmation or for denial. At the same time, an Agnostic may hold that the existence of God, though not impossible, is very improbable; he may even hold it so improbable that it is not worth considering in practice. In that case, he is not far removed from atheism. His attitude may be that which a careful philosopher would have towards the gods of ancient Greece. If I were asked to prove that Zeus and Poseidon and Hera and the rest of the Olympians do not exist, I should be at a loss to find conclusive arguments. An Agnostic may think the Christian God as improbable as the Olympians; in that case, he is, for practical purposes, at one with the atheists.

so I stand corrected.

Im agnostic. sign me up.

Oh yeah, MessyJester....

Agnostics are pussies.

Have the courage of your convictions,,,

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by ELVIS
Jesterwords in this thread:


relegeious

relegeion

phycological

enviorment

manogamy

basicly

interpetation

beleivers

Huked on Foniks wurked fur me - Jesterstar :D

[Anonymous]

Jesterwords - Classic! Thanks Elvis.

Be bop bap balula be bo bap boom Tutti Frutti, Oh Rudy... Sumthin' like that.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Figs]

George Carlin on religion


When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.

Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.

No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.

So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.

And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.

Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.

I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.

But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?

Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?

And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.

So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.

For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was. In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

(Copyright 1999 by George Carlin. Printed without permission.)

[Ally_Kat]

Originally posted by Big Troubles
further more, IMO, people choose to believe in "something" as they can't possibly fathom their own existence without a higher power, instead of just believing in what science tells us. Nobody likes the truth. In this case, the truth, IMO, is scientific and when compared to "God" and "religion", it's just not as exciting. People spend far too much time in trying to figure out where they came from and where they might go. Why not just live your life? Be good. Be moral. Not for the fear of the unknown and a "God written punishment", just be good and moral because that is what comes natural to you.

That is an atheist.

But why is it that if I choose God from the "truth" of science, that it is because I can't fathom not being created by a higher power? There are some huge-ass odds for the universe ending up how it did and Earth for how it did, especially with how intricate our bodies and the processes that go on in us and all living organisms. And even with that, science has no definate answer as to how our universe started out. There's an educated guess.

[Nitro Express]

My great granddad was a Utah Mormon who had four wives. In fact, he was sent to prison for illegally practicing polygammy. When the US Govt. threatened to sieze church assets unless they abolished the practice of polygammy, the prophet of the Mormon church suddenly had the revelation that it no longer was needed. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints no longer practices polygammy but still teaches it will be practiced when Jesus returns and in the next life. Fundamentalist groups of Mormons still practice polygammy; even though, this is not the case in the Salt Lake based church. Polygammy was secretly practiced by the Mormon profit Joseph Smith who used the revelation as an excuse to have extra marital affairs with multiple women. Some being underage. Joseph skillfully wrapped his doctrine in an elaborate collection of temple cerimonies. The original Mormon temple used to be a meeting house with no special ordinance rooms. Once Joseph started fucking other women he started having secret marriages and came out with celesial marriage and temple cerimonies copied from the masons. Convienient because Joseph joined the Masons around the same time he started fucking multiple women out of wedlock and cheating on his wife.

Mormonism has continued to reinvent itself and evolve to survive in a changing world like all other religions tend to do. The church is successful because it becomes part of the family herritage and leaving the church is not easy. Not easy unless you enjoy pissing off all your relatives. It's a controlling cult. That's why I left it. My relatives still pester me but at least my own kids will be free from the big lie.

The only real unanswered question I have about my Mormon herritage is did my great grand father roll in the bed with his four wives at the same time and fuck them around the world style or did he just take nightly turns with each one. Hell, if I had four wives some kinky shit would go down for sure; especially, in a religion and time that put women in their place. The thing about polygammy is I'm sure it made my great grand daddy want more dicks and more cum.