A Day In The Life Of Joe Republican

[Warham]

Our country had a civil war, and we are better off for it. We lost 620,000 men in our civil war, and 7,000 in seven minutes in one battle. Iraq might very well have a civil war, perhaps even that bloody. It doesn't mean it's a failure over there if they do.

Saddam being gone is good, even if it does degrade to that point. At least people won't be gassed, tortured, and raped by their own dictator.

[FORD]

Originally posted by Warham
Our country had a civil war, and we are better off for it. We lost 620,000 men in our civil war, and 7,000 in seven minutes in one battle.

I wonder if any of those 620,000 would say it was worth it? Especially given the main cause of the war, a ridiculous claim on the "right" to own human beings as "property".


Iraq might very well have a civil war, perhaps even that bloody. It doesn't mean it's a failure over there if they do.

But but but.... I thought it was a democracy now? Junior said so!

Saddam being gone is good, even if it does degrade to that point. At least people won't be gassed, tortured, and raped by their own dictator.

Well, I don't know whether or not anybody's been gassed yet, that may be true. But I'm sure getting raped and tortured by the employees of a foreign dictator isn't doing much to raise their spirits either.

[Dr. Love]

Joe Republican continued crying over his taxes...

[BigBadBrian]

Re: A Day In The Life Of Joe Republican

Originally posted by FORD
"A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN"

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical Plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid Medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money overhis lifetime.

Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university. Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safetystandards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Where is the part about how Joe "The Fundamentalist" Republican reads his Bible and prays every morning? Hmm?

[Warham]

We'll have to ask Howard Dean how to pray. He says the Democratic party is in touch with Jesus now.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Dr. Love
Joe Republican continued crying over his taxes...

Jpe Republican continued to live in complete ignorance that those taxes pay for his childrens schooling, his local police and firefighters, for his paved roads, etc etc.

Joe Republican failed to note any corrolation between the declining state of our nations education system and his lower and lower taxes, and the destruction of unions throughout the nation.

Joe Republican doesn't realize that when a plumber can afford to buy a house, EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN WINS.

[academic punk]

That bieng said, referring to our character as "JOE" implies an "EVERYMAN, common goon, cog in the machine" quality...

In the interest of fair play, let's turn it around...

what's a day like in the life of JOE DEMOCRAT?

[Big Train]

Joe Republican has a fucking job and doesn't give a shit what Joe Democrat thinks or does with his day...only a liberal would have the kind of time it takes to compose a nursery rhyme about Republicans.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Big Train
Joe Republican has a fucking job and doesn't give a shit what Joe Democrat thinks or does with his day...only a liberal would have the kind of time it takes to compose a nursery rhyme about Republicans.

ouch!

[FORD]

No, Joe Republican would rather bitch all day about people downloading Shitney Spears MP3s

[Dr. Love]

Originally posted by academic punk
Jpe Republican continued to live in complete ignorance that those taxes pay for his childrens schooling, his local police and firefighters, for his paved roads, etc etc.

Joe Republican failed to note any corrolation between the declining state of our nations education system and his lower and lower taxes, and the destruction of unions throughout the nation.

Joe Republican doesn't realize that when a plumber can afford to buy a house, EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN WINS.

I was actually referring to income tax; I don't know how other states do it, but in Texas, education is funded by property taxes, I believe.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Dr. Love
I was actually referring to income tax; I don't know how other states do it, but in Texas, education is funded by property taxes, I believe.

Oh, so you mean the money that goes towards the country's defense systems and scientific research? Yeah, that is a big waste of money.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Big Train
Joe Republican has a fucking job and doesn't give a shit what Joe Democrat thinks or does with his day...only a liberal would have the kind of time it takes to compose a nursery rhyme about Republicans.

FORD makes a valid point here. Repubs only see as far as thier own nose in the business world, so it was probably a Repub who thought it would be a good idea to charge 20 bucks for a god damn piece of music. after all, whatever the market can bear, right?

Well, now lookee lookee how well that's worked out...way to think towards the long-term and the repercussions of arrogant, myopic, selfish foresight.

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by academic punk
FORD makes a valid point here. Repubs only see as far as thier own nose in the business world, so it was probably a Repub who thought it would be a good idea to charge 20 bucks for a god damn piece of music. after all, whatever the market can bear, right?

Well, now lookee lookee how well that's worked out...way to think towards the long-term and the repercussions of arrogant, myopic, selfish foresight.

THe Record Companies dug their own proverbial grave, they were oversharging for CD's for many years even thought the cost of production dropped dramatically!

That's the Republican mentality right there, price gouge, then whine when you suffer the consequences for it.

[DLR'sCock]

Originally posted by academic punk
FORD makes a valid point here. Repubs only see as far as thier own nose in the business world, so it was probably a Repub who thought it would be a good idea to charge 20 bucks for a god damn piece of music. after all, whatever the market can bear, right?

Well, now lookee lookee how well that's worked out...way to think towards the long-term and the repercussions of arrogant, myopic, selfish foresight.

AP, you're wasting your time...