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Janet M. Stroble | April 12, 2006
That's it. I'm exhausted. I can't push back anymore.
For five and a half years, I have met the onslaught of daily criticism against George W. Bush, the man I voted for President twice, and challenged his foes. I can't do it. I give up. The Left and the mainstream media's unrelenting drumbeat has won me over, like slamming my head repeatedly against a brick wall. I know how good it will feel if I stop slamming and admit they've been right all along. So I'm throwing in the towel and going to join the other side. Now I believe.
I believe George W. Bush is a scheming genius who secretly plotted with Al Qaeda to highjack planes and crash them into U.S. domestic targets. It was all part of a devious plot to declare himself dictator and tear up the Constitution-- so devious, he still hasn't done it yet.
I believe George W. Bush is a scheming genius who manufactured intelligence to get us into a war so that he could later admit he was wrong and thereby increase his re-election chances.
I believe George W. Bush is also a moron who can't walk and talk at the same time, who needs Dick Cheney to tell him what to say, Karl Rove to tell him when to say it, and Laura to cut his meat up in little pieces so he doesn't hurt himself by chewing too hard. I know George W. Bush is a moron, because a guy who got worse grades at Yale said so. A couple guys with MBA's from Harvard said so, too.
I believe George W. Bush knew about the 9/11 attacks beforehand and did nothing just so he could be a war-time President and improve his poll numbers.
I believe that 9/11 was just a sad misunderstanding. If only George W. Bush had been more sensitive to the root causes of terrorism, like capitalist oppression, the whole thing could have been avoided. After all, those capitalist "little Eichmanns" working as waiters and dishwashers at the Top of the World Restaurant deserved to die.
I believe George W. Bush declared war against Saddam Hussein because he wanted to seize the oil fields of Iraq to keep gasoline prices at $1.69 per gallon.
I believe George W. Bush is a criminal because he misled the nation into war with Iraq by not giving us enough facts for us to make up our own minds.
I believe George W. Bush is a criminal because he declassified information about why we should go to war in Iraq . That way, Scooter Libby could give us facts so we could make up our own minds.
I believe George W. Bush should be impeached because he improperly used his war powers to listen to suspicious calls between foreign terrorists and their possible allies in the U. S. Terrorists have privacy rights and Bush should fry for not respecting them.
I believe George W. Bush should be impeached because in 2001 he didn't monitor the phone calls of suspected terrorists in the U.S., which would have prevented 9/11.
I believe George W. Bush should be impeached because he hasn't made public the fact that we've already captured Osama bin Laden. Bush is just waiting to produce him when his poll numbers drop below 40%.
I believe the generals fighting the war in Iraq and Afghanistan are a bunch of idiots who don't know what they're doing. I know this because a bunch of academic Ph.D.'s told me so. It doesn't matter that many of the generals also have Ph.D.'s, theirs obviously aren't as good as the academics.
I believe that the soldiers fighting this war are illiterate, barbarian morons who couldn't get a real job outside the armed forces. I know this because a bunch of academics with college degrees told me so. It doesn't matter that many of the soldiers also have college degrees, theirs obviously aren't as good as the academics.
I believe that George W. Bush hates black people. Through secret government machinations, he caused Hurricane Katrina to form and aimed it at New Orleans on purpose, just so he could wipe out lots of poor blacks. I also believe that before the hurricane hit, he snuck into New Orleans and stole the keys to every school bus in the city to make evacuation of poor people impossible.
I believe that George W. Bush hates women. He wants to place restrictions on abortion, which is exactly the same thing as dragging a woman into a soccer stadium and blowing her brains out because she showed her ankles in public.
I believe that George W. Bush hates sick people. He won't allow the government to harvest stem cells from aborted fetuses to conduct experiments to save the lives of people who are more worthwhile than aborted fetuses.
I believe that George W. Bush hates Moslems. All that garbage about freedom, democracy, and the right to vote is a pollution of their culture.
I believe that George W. Bush hates immigrants. There were a lot of immigrants working in the World Trade Center and George W. Bush didn't warn them ahead of time, the way he warned all the Jews who worked there.
I believe George W. Bush stole the 2000 Presidential election in Florida . He did it by confusing illiterate black people, by declaring thousands of soldiers' votes invalid, and by promising not to aim any more hurricanes at the state as long as he was President.
I believe George W. Bush stole the 2004 Presidential election. He did it by making it rain in Ohio on election day, then by denying government-funded umbrellas to poor black people waiting in line.
I believe the U.S. can't win the Iraq war because George W. Bush is a scheming genius, the generals are idiots, and the soldiers are barbaric, illiterate morons. After all, Americans have no experience at winning wars. Who do we think we are, anyway?
I believe that life in Iraq is really as dismal as the mainstream reporters tell us, that every vehicle is a burned-out wreck, that every child is starving, and that every Iraqi is too afraid to leave their homes to vote in democratic elections.
I believe the Department of Defense gives every soldier lousy equipment, rotten medical care if wounded, and shows no respect toward the fallen or the families of the fallen.
I believe that the U. S. Senate is the Greatest Deliberative Body in the World. I believe that after George W. Bush is impeached and fried, Presidential power should be co-equally shared by all 100 Senators. That way, we could have 100 Commanders-in-Chief, 100 different foreign policies, and 100 different domestic agendas.
I believe that Congressional Republicans are wallowing in a "culture of corruption" and should publicly apologize for stuffing classified documents in their pants, for illegally obtaining opponents' credit reports, for waylaying National Guardsmen from lifesaving duties to run personal errands, and for failing to register as agents of a foreign government (like Dubai).
I believe that Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney is a patriot and that it is the duty of every American citizen to beat up police officers who work at security checkpoints.
I believe it all.
At last, my aching head is still and I feel so much better having got that off my chest. What a relief to know I've finally joined the Good Guys.
This column first appeared in Navy Seals.com
That's it. I'm exhausted. I can't push back anymore.
For five and a half years, I have met the onslaught of daily criticism against George W. Bush, the man I voted for President twice, and challenged his foes. I can't do it. I give up. The Left and the mainstream media's unrelenting drumbeat has won me over, like slamming my head repeatedly against a brick wall. I know how good it will feel if I stop slamming and admit they've been right all along. So I'm throwing in the towel and going to join the other side. Now I believe.
I believe George W. Bush is a scheming genius who secretly plotted with Al Qaeda to highjack planes and crash them into U.S. domestic targets. It was all part of a devious plot to declare himself dictator and tear up the Constitution-- so devious, he still hasn't done it yet.
I believe George W. Bush is a scheming genius who manufactured intelligence to get us into a war so that he could later admit he was wrong and thereby increase his re-election chances.
I believe George W. Bush is also a moron who can't walk and talk at the same time, who needs Dick Cheney to tell him what to say, Karl Rove to tell him when to say it, and Laura to cut his meat up in little pieces so he doesn't hurt himself by chewing too hard. I know George W. Bush is a moron, because a guy who got worse grades at Yale said so. A couple guys with MBA's from Harvard said so, too.
I believe George W. Bush knew about the 9/11 attacks beforehand and did nothing just so he could be a war-time President and improve his poll numbers.
I believe that 9/11 was just a sad misunderstanding. If only George W. Bush had been more sensitive to the root causes of terrorism, like capitalist oppression, the whole thing could have been avoided. After all, those capitalist "little Eichmanns" working as waiters and dishwashers at the Top of the World Restaurant deserved to die.
I believe George W. Bush declared war against Saddam Hussein because he wanted to seize the oil fields of Iraq to keep gasoline prices at $1.69 per gallon.
I believe George W. Bush is a criminal because he misled the nation into war with Iraq by not giving us enough facts for us to make up our own minds.
I believe George W. Bush is a criminal because he declassified information about why we should go to war in Iraq . That way, Scooter Libby could give us facts so we could make up our own minds.
I believe George W. Bush should be impeached because he improperly used his war powers to listen to suspicious calls between foreign terrorists and their possible allies in the U. S. Terrorists have privacy rights and Bush should fry for not respecting them.
I believe George W. Bush should be impeached because in 2001 he didn't monitor the phone calls of suspected terrorists in the U.S., which would have prevented 9/11.
I believe George W. Bush should be impeached because he hasn't made public the fact that we've already captured Osama bin Laden. Bush is just waiting to produce him when his poll numbers drop below 40%.
I believe the generals fighting the war in Iraq and Afghanistan are a bunch of idiots who don't know what they're doing. I know this because a bunch of academic Ph.D.'s told me so. It doesn't matter that many of the generals also have Ph.D.'s, theirs obviously aren't as good as the academics.
I believe that the soldiers fighting this war are illiterate, barbarian morons who couldn't get a real job outside the armed forces. I know this because a bunch of academics with college degrees told me so. It doesn't matter that many of the soldiers also have college degrees, theirs obviously aren't as good as the academics.
I believe that George W. Bush hates black people. Through secret government machinations, he caused Hurricane Katrina to form and aimed it at New Orleans on purpose, just so he could wipe out lots of poor blacks. I also believe that before the hurricane hit, he snuck into New Orleans and stole the keys to every school bus in the city to make evacuation of poor people impossible.
I believe that George W. Bush hates women. He wants to place restrictions on abortion, which is exactly the same thing as dragging a woman into a soccer stadium and blowing her brains out because she showed her ankles in public.
I believe that George W. Bush hates sick people. He won't allow the government to harvest stem cells from aborted fetuses to conduct experiments to save the lives of people who are more worthwhile than aborted fetuses.
I believe that George W. Bush hates Moslems. All that garbage about freedom, democracy, and the right to vote is a pollution of their culture.
I believe that George W. Bush hates immigrants. There were a lot of immigrants working in the World Trade Center and George W. Bush didn't warn them ahead of time, the way he warned all the Jews who worked there.
I believe George W. Bush stole the 2000 Presidential election in Florida . He did it by confusing illiterate black people, by declaring thousands of soldiers' votes invalid, and by promising not to aim any more hurricanes at the state as long as he was President.
I believe George W. Bush stole the 2004 Presidential election. He did it by making it rain in Ohio on election day, then by denying government-funded umbrellas to poor black people waiting in line.
I believe the U.S. can't win the Iraq war because George W. Bush is a scheming genius, the generals are idiots, and the soldiers are barbaric, illiterate morons. After all, Americans have no experience at winning wars. Who do we think we are, anyway?
I believe that life in Iraq is really as dismal as the mainstream reporters tell us, that every vehicle is a burned-out wreck, that every child is starving, and that every Iraqi is too afraid to leave their homes to vote in democratic elections.
I believe the Department of Defense gives every soldier lousy equipment, rotten medical care if wounded, and shows no respect toward the fallen or the families of the fallen.
I believe that the U. S. Senate is the Greatest Deliberative Body in the World. I believe that after George W. Bush is impeached and fried, Presidential power should be co-equally shared by all 100 Senators. That way, we could have 100 Commanders-in-Chief, 100 different foreign policies, and 100 different domestic agendas.
I believe that Congressional Republicans are wallowing in a "culture of corruption" and should publicly apologize for stuffing classified documents in their pants, for illegally obtaining opponents' credit reports, for waylaying National Guardsmen from lifesaving duties to run personal errands, and for failing to register as agents of a foreign government (like Dubai).
I believe that Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney is a patriot and that it is the duty of every American citizen to beat up police officers who work at security checkpoints.
I believe it all.
At last, my aching head is still and I feel so much better having got that off my chest. What a relief to know I've finally joined the Good Guys.
This column first appeared in Navy Seals.com
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