GET LAID NOW! (You have until October)

[Kristy]

"Harold Camping, leader of the ministry Family Radio Worldwide, has concluded after careful study of the Bible that the world will begin to end on May 21, 2011. It will actually take several months for the process to be complete, but Camping is certain that by October it will all be over, and his group is doing their best to warn everyone."

So mark your calenders, kids. The end has been studied so you know it has to be true. I'm sure Harold & Co. will be stocking up on plenty of cyanide and Kool-Aid...just in case. Hey, look on the bright side, at least we get summer before Doomsday.

Story here:http://www.livescience.com/strangene...on-110103.html

[Kristy]

Camping believes the Rapture will start to take place in May. You know, where all the purist fundies will fly like doves into the realm of Heaven and sit by the throne of God like mindless automatons while the rest of us rot in our diseased piles of sin and filth. In a way, I'm sincerely hoping this guy is right.

[chefcraig]

Harold Camping has changed his "prediction" several times now. This was discussed at the beginning of last month here:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nashville Billboards Announce Jebus' Return May 21, 2011

And yes, Camping is certifiable. Harold Camping's Heresies EXPOSED!

[Kristy]

Damn, well, I certainly didn't predict that this subject had already been posted. Not as popular advertised where I live even if the Lord travels in mysterious ways.

[Nitro Express]

Watch these fools max out as many credit cards as they can get and spend all their savings only to find life and the credit collection agencies live on.

[Kristy]

I might join this cult if it means getting out of my student loans.

[FORD]

Rev. Camping needs to read his Bible again. Nevermind the part where Jesus says that not even HE knows the day or the hour of His return, but also the part where the tribulation lasts seven years. Not five months.

So if the Rapture does actually happen on May 21, it's going to be May 21, 2018 before the world ends. May has been historically a shitty month for me personally, so it really wouldn't surprise me all that much if something fucked up happened then.

But not the Rapture, because I'm supposed to be on the "good list" when that happens.

[Kristy]

May has been historically a shitty month for me personally, so it really wouldn't surprise me all that much if something fucked up happened then.

Really? It's April for me. Hate that shitty month with all heart.

[Guitar Shark]

I am ready whenever you are, Kristy.

lol...

[fifth element]

let's all stop paying our bills now...
concentrate on having the "time of our lives"

after all...if the good rev says it's so it MUST be so......right??...LOLOL

[Nitro Express]

January has always been my hard month. It's a cold/dark depressing month. I ski and snowmobile but I always seem to busy in January too enjoy those.

[Nitro Express]

let's all stop paying our bills now...
concentrate on having the "time of our lives"

after all...if the good rev says it's so it MUST be so......right??...LOLOL

Sadly rapture is conditional on obeying the Lord's commandments. Too bad. There's a few people I want to kill and some things I want to steal. I want to sleep with the married woman down the street, and cause massive property damage to institutions I hate. Walmart and Wells Fargo would be the first to go. I just cant have fun without laying waste to the Ten Commandments.

[Terry]

Meh...whatever.

It's been a good ride.

[ashstralia]

a wag on another forum posted:
'May 21; Meteorite Demolishes Church'

i lol'd

[Seshmeister]

Nevermind the part where Jesus says that not even HE knows the day or the hour of His return

Yeah just to expand on that part of your fairy tale as it is one of the more amusing bits.

He says that he will return during the lifetime of some of the folk he's talking to.

Matthew 16:28 "Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

Mark 9:1 Then he said to them, "I tell you with certainty, some people standing here will not experience death until they see the kingdom of God arrive with power."

Luke 9:27 "But I say to you truthfully, there are some of those standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God."

Unless there are some 2000 year old goat herders wandering about without anyone noticing then yet again more fucking plot holes than the Da Vinci code.

The reason it's amusing is that they were almost certainly all dead even by the time this stuff was being written 60 years after the 'events'.

These guys weren't decent story tellers never mind rocket scientists...