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Just this past Saturday I had come Jehos come to my door. I told em right off the bat which church we're members of, thinking they'd take off. Nope. These two women wanted to get their message out. So I politely listened and when she started trying to give me some little comic books or whatever they were, I said "No, you keep those. We don't need em." And then she got pissy and started up on the whole "Do you want to go to Hell" thing and I said, "That's a great way to get people to come to your church, get all mad when they tell you they don't want a comic book." They left.
I never got the whole Hostile Takeover attitude some people have towards getting other people to go to church. If Jesus ain't gonna force you to go to church, what entitles people to get all mad or worse, act like those assholes outside a Van Halen show?American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
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A JW asked you if you wanted to go to HELL??
That's odd, because they don't believe in Hell. Which is what I never understood about that religion... not really any incentive to join their cult. They only believe 144,000 people out of the billions who have EVER lived will make it into Heaven, and those aren't very good odds. They don't believe in a Hell to avoid going to. Which means more than likely, you're just dead. So why bother getting out of bed early on Sunday morning for that?Eat Us And Smile
Cenk For America 2024!!
Justice Democrats
"If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992Comment
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Well, way back a little over 2000 years ago, there was this group of traveling minstrels, and they'd go from town to town, play some songs, set some stuff on fire, and about 15,000 villagers would turn out to see their performance. Some would even follow them from village to village. Then they sort of disappeared for a while. Then Jesus was born and became the leader of their troop. Now, Jesus had all sorts of magic super powers. He raised one of the minstrels from the dead. Then he turned all their wine into water, which made their shows suck mightily. Some of the villagers wanted to crucify Jesus. But most of the villagers thought he was The Messiah and so the minstrels continued to travel the countryside until they retreated to their Fortress of Irrelevance.
Legend says that one day Jesus will return and he'll bring us all a new album and tour. But sadly it looks like it was all just a fairy tale. Kind of like Santy Claus or the moon landing.American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
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I took this smoking hot Jehovah's Witness chick to a Pistons game once. I didn't know she was one of those. She wouldn't stand for the National Anthem. When I asked her what her deal was, she told me she was a JW, and they don't worship anything but their God, or higher power, or whatever. I told her it isn't about "worship", it's about respect. I was so pissed. I took her straight home, and never saw her again. I knew she had no intentions of worshiping my cock, since she wouldn't even stand for the National Anthem. Can you imagine being married to one of those broads?
What a waste of a hot piece of ass she was.Comment
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I have wondered about saying that if they let me into the religion one of them won't make it.
The other thing to mention is the Watchtower's record on prediction. I'll post it here and maybe someone will get lucky and have the page on their phone next time someone knocks their door.
Predictions (by date of publication) include:
1877: Christ's kingdom would hold full sway over the earth in 1914; the Jews, as a people, would be restored to God's favor; the "saints" would be carried to heaven.[26]
1891: 1914 would be "the farthest limit of the rule of imperfect men."[27]
1904: "World-wide anarchy" would follow the end of the Gentile Times in 1914.[28]
1916: World War I would terminate in Armageddon and the rapture of the "saints".[29]
1917: In 1918, Christendom would go down as a system to oblivion and be succeeded by revolutionary governments. God would "destroy the churches wholesale and the church members by the millions." Church members would "perish by the sword of war, revolution and anarchy." The dead would lie unburied. In 1920 all earthly governments would disappear, with worldwide anarchy prevailing.[30]
1920: Messiah's kingdom would be established in 1925 and bring worldwide peace. God would begin restoring the earth. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and other faithful patriarchs would be resurrected to perfect human life and be made princes and rulers, the visible representatives of the New Order on earth. Those who showed themselves obedient to God would never die.[31]
1922: The anti-typical "jubilee" that would mark God's intervention in earthly affairs would take place "probably the fall" of 1925.[32]
1924: God's restoration of Earth would begin "shortly after" October 1, 1925. Jerusalem would be made the world's capital. Resurrected "princes" such as Abel, Noah, Moses and John the Baptist would give instructions to their subjects around the world by radio, and airplanes would transport people to and from Jerusalem from all parts of the globe in just "a few hours".[33]
1938: Armageddon was too close for marriage or child bearing.[34]
1941: There were only "months" remaining until Armageddon.[35]
1942: Armageddon was "immediately before us."[36]
1961: Awake! magazine stated that the heavenly kingdom "will, within the twentieth century, cleanse the entire earth of wickedness."[37]
1966: It would be 6000 years since man's creation in the fall of 1975 and it would be "appropriate" for Christ's thousand-year reign to begin at that time.[38] Time was "running out, no question about that."[39] The "immediate future" was "certain to be filled with climactic events ... within a few years at most", the final parts of Bible prophecy relating to the "last days" would undergo fulfillment as Christ's reign began.
1967: The end-time period (beginning in 1914) was claimed to be so far advanced that the time remaining could "be compared, not just to the last day of a week, but rather, to the last part of that day".[40]
1968: No one could say "with certainty" that the battle of Armageddon would begin in 1975, but time was "running out rapidly" with "earthshaking events" soon to take place.[41] In March 1968 there was a "short period of time left", with "only about ninety months left before 6000 years of man's existence on earth is completed".[42]
1969: The existing world order would not last long enough for young people to grow old; the world system would end "in a few years." Young Witnesses were told not to bother pursuing tertiary education for this reason.[43]
1971: The "battle in the day of Jehovah" was described as beginning "[s]hortly, within our twentieth century".[44]
1974: There was just a "short time remaining before the wicked world's end" and Witnesses were commended for selling their homes and property to "finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service."[45]
1984: There were "many indications" that "the end" was closer than the end of the 20th century.[46]
1989: The Watchtower asserted that Christian missionary work begun in the first century would "be completed in our 20th century".[47] When republished in bound volumes, the phrase "in our 20th century" was replaced with the less specific "in our day".Comment
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Now this part I find most interesting. When I was around 10 or 11, the preacher we had beat this point into the ground. Now we ain't Jehos, we're Southern Baptists. But I guess he'd latched on to that part. Anyway, it was his main, constant theme that he kept pounding home: You young people aren't gonna live to be adults! My mom got so caught up in the whole thing that I was constantly hearing this at home too. Until one day I asked my mom why she doesn't just quit her damn job and go sit on a hill somewhere and wait for the end. Then she went through this phase where she was constantly telling everybody that she wished she could go to Heaven right now, that the world's so terrible, blah blah blah. I got tired of that too and told her if she wanted to go so bad then why not climb up onto the roof and jump off head first onto the driveway?American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
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I grew in a "We are the chosen people" religion. We were expected to be better than everyone else. Also it was believed what you learn here you take with you to the next life. If you weren't pursuing education you were not doing your duty. What the church didn't mention is it wanted educated high wage earners as members so they would get bigger donations.No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!Comment
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...so they could end up with Romney funded beauties like this....
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That should be a statue of me on top.American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
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I thought it was.Comment
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Nah, I wouldn't have some boring white building from which to brainwash my followers. It'd be all spacey looking. With hot space chicks with big tits shooting cheap Amercan beer out of their cooches. And I'd dress like Han Solo all the chicks would have to dress like Slave Leia. Honestly, I don't know why nobody has tried that before now...American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
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