Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • FORD
    ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

    • Jan 2004
    • 59641

    Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected

    Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected



    GREENSBORO, NC—In an announcement that has alarmed voters across the nation, Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that he will personally attack the U.S. if Sen. John Kerry wins the next election.
    Cheney issues a warning to Greensboro, NC voters.
    Above: Cheney issues a warning to Greensboro, NC voters.

    "If the wrong man is elected in November, the nation will come under a devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and executed by none other than myself," Cheney said, speaking at a rally in Greensboro, NC. "When they go to the polls, Americans must weigh this fact and decide if our nation can ignore such a grave threat."

    Added Cheney: "It would be a tragedy to suffer another attack on American soil, let alone one perpetrated by an enemy as well-organized and well-equipped as I am. My colleagues and I urge voters to keep their safety in mind when they go to the polls."

    Although Cheney would not comment on the details of his proposed attack on a John Kerry-led U.S., national-security experts said he possesses both the capabilities and the motivation to pose a serious threat.

    "There is no question that Cheney has the financial assets and intelligence needed to pose a threat to our nation," said Peter Bergen, terrorism researcher and author of Threats And Balances: Former Executive Branch Officials And The Danger To America. "After all, this fanatic can call upon the resources of both the Republican Party and Halliburton to aid him in his assault. America would be foolish not to take his warning seriously."

    After his speech, Cheney was asked to confirm his remarks.

    "Make no mistake: If Kerry becomes president, no one will be safe from me," Cheney told reporters. "Businesses, places of worship, schools, public parks: No place will offer you refuge. A vote for Kerry is a vote to die in your own bed at the hands of Dick Cheney."

    Stepping up to the podium after Cheney, Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge vowed to increase surveillance of the vice president.

    "Wherever Cheney is—whether in his office in the White House or stumping in battleground states—we will be watching him," Ridge said. "I will not rule out raising the terror-alert level, should Kerry begin to draw ahead in the polls. Every percentage point conceded to Kerry brings the nation under greater threat of attack by Cheney."

    In a televised address from the White House, President Bush promised "to serve and protect the nation" by being re-elected.
    Cheney describes the threat he poses to the nation.
    Above: Cheney describes the threat he poses to the nation.

    "A war against Dick Cheney would be a long, hard struggle," Bush said. "It would be a difficult battle against a shadowy nemesis who is able to hide among us, loves only death and destruction, and hates our freedom. I have the experience, the leadership, and the Republican nomination required to protect us all—myself and my family included—from Dick Cheney."

    Although the effect of Cheney's remarks has yet to register in the polls, some voters report that the vice president's threats have concerned them.

    "Frankly, I'm terrified," said Dwayne Cummings, a 38-year-old metal-press operator from Cleveland, OH. "The idea of getting attacked by Cheney right now, at a time when I'm out of work, uninsured, and have kids to worry about, is overwhelming. I'm not sure I can vote for Kerry anymore."

    Mary Pershing, a loom-worker and lifelong Democrat from Limestone, KY, said she appreciates the government's surveillance efforts.

    "At least they're warning us about the danger," Pershing said. "I've always suspected Cheney might do something dangerous someday. Now that we have confirmation of a possible attack—from someone as high-ranking as the vice president, no less—we can make moves to stop it."

    Cheney's remarks quickly drew a response from the Kerry campaign.

    "I urge all Americans to remain calm in the face of this new threat," Democratic vice presidential nominee John Edwards said. "Rest assured that, once elected, John Kerry has a plan to contend with any threat against our nation, whether from rogue nations, terrorists, or former vice presidents."

    "Should John Kerry be elected, he and I will work with, not against, the international community," Edwards added. "I have no doubt that we would be able to assemble a coalition of nations more than willing to aid us in the war against Dick Cheney."
    Eat Us And Smile

    Cenk For America 2024!!

    Justice Democrats


    "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992
  • knuckleboner
    Crazy Ass Mofo
    • Jan 2004
    • 2927

    #2
    heh heh...i WILL corroborate FORD on this one. i have seen the original article at its source...

    Comment

    • Rikk
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • Jan 2004
      • 16518

      #3
      LOL!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
      Roth Army Militia

      Originally posted by WARF
      Rikk - The new school of the Roth Army... this dude leads the pack... three words... The Sheep Pen... this dude opened alot of doors for people during this new era... he's the best of the new school.

      Comment

      • ODShowtime
        ROCKSTAR

        • Jun 2004
        • 5812

        #4
        I ALMOST posted the one from about a month ago where Cheney attacks campers at Silver Lake. Of course it's gone now. Oh well.
        gnaw on it

        Comment

        • McCarrens
          Foot Soldier
          • May 2004
          • 705

          #5
          Only someone high up in the BCE would know what Cheney is planning.
          "The security around the hotel was ridiculous. This chick was pounding and screaming at my door until four or five in the morning....finally I said fuck it, and let her out of the room"

          Comment

          • JCOOK

            #6
            Someone like......Ford

            Comment

            • Mezro
              Full Member Status

              • May 2004
              • 4154

              #7
              Cheney Vows To Attack His Own Anus if Kerry Elected

              GREENSBORO, NC—In an announcement that has alarmed voters across the nation, Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that he will personally attack his own anus with a fork if Sen. John Kerry wins the next election. Cheney issues a warning to Greensboro, NC voters.

              "If the wrong man is elected in November, my anus will come under a devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and executed by none other than myself," Cheney said while holding up a drill with a fork bit. "When they go to the polls, Americans must weigh this fact and decide if my anal spider can ignore such a grave threat."

              Mezro...try not to get blood in your pants Uncle Dick...
              Got me a date with a shaved Asian. I know, I know; I think it's fucked!

              Comment

              • ODShowtime
                ROCKSTAR

                • Jun 2004
                • 5812

                #8
                awe Mezro, that's worse than the mustard gas! What is it with you and Cheney's anus?

                Cheney's anus
                Cheney's anus
                Cheney's anus
                Cheney's anus
                that could be a cool band name
                gnaw on it

                Comment

                • DLR'sCock
                  Crazy Ass Mofo
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 2937

                  #9
                  You gotta love the onion!!!

                  Comment

                  • ODShowtime
                    ROCKSTAR

                    • Jun 2004
                    • 5812

                    #10
                    sush cock! I think McCarren thought it was a real article
                    gnaw on it

                    Comment

                    • JCOOK

                      #11
                      Cheneys' Anus.... can anyone think of a soon to be out of work "front man" that would fit in perfectly?

                      Comment

                      • FORD
                        ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

                        • Jan 2004
                        • 59641

                        #12
                        Originally posted by JCOOK
                        Cheneys' Anus.... can anyone think of a soon to be out of work "front man" that would fit in perfectly?
                        He's a Busheep and a loyal GOP contributor, so why wouldn't he take the gig. Then he can write lyrics about aliens pulling the strings in Cheney's Anus.
                        Eat Us And Smile

                        Cenk For America 2024!!

                        Justice Democrats


                        "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

                        Comment

                        • JCOOK

                          #13
                          After their first album they can put out a"best of" Cheneys' Anus

                          Comment

                          • Cathedral
                            ROTH ARMY ELITE
                            • Jan 2004
                            • 6621

                            #14
                            LMMFAO, I think a better plan would be for Cheney's lesbian daughter to show Kerry's daughters the fine art of pie eating.

                            Comment

                            • FORD
                              ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

                              • Jan 2004
                              • 59641

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Cathedral
                              LMMFAO, I think a better plan would be for Cheney's lesbian daughter to show Kerry's daughters the fine art of pie eating.
                              The video would definitely be better :D
                              Eat Us And Smile

                              Cenk For America 2024!!

                              Justice Democrats


                              "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

                              Comment

                              Working...