Dumbass Equipment Goofs

[Nitro Express]

We played at a talent show a few years ago. I was using a Peavey 5150 cab which have a 1/4" jack and an XLR jack. The XLR is there because Eddie Van Halen uses an H-H power amp which uses XLR jacks as speaker outputs. What you do is use regular XLR connectors but only use two of the plugs and wire those into two strand speaker wire. Basically you have a locking plug setup that won't pull out or be blasted out by the airpressure of the speaker cab. A nifty feature that allows Ed Van Halen to use any 5150 speaker off the assembly line in his stage rig.

The problem with this arangement is it confuses the hell out of dumb ass sound people. The 5150 II head I was using has a line level out for the preamp. They didn't have a microphone so I told the guy he could run the line out to the mixer. I did this before and if EQ'd decently you can get away with it. Anyways, the dumb ass ran an XLR from the Speaker cabinet to the mixer input. Well guess what the power amp did to the mixer? It certainly wasn't a 0db line level signal. Then he tried to blame me for it.

[Nitro Express]

As far as the 5150 II head goes, I've never blown it up yet. It's lost it's load on the transformer, it's been mismatched. I plugged a multimeter set for Ohms instead of Volts into the back sockets. All four power tubes glowed bright blue and you could hear the glass heating up quick. I realized my mistake and pulled them out. You can damage the amp but it was ok. I've never had the pots go scratchy and I've seen these things with the knobs bent and busted off and they still work. All I did was lower the resistor value on the bias pot and I can run the tubes hotter which gets rid of that crossover distortion and buzz these amps tend to get. So these amps seem to take abuse well.

[GAR]

My biggest goof: when I was 15 plugging the speaker output of my Dickerson 1940's 5watt combo amp into the input of my Harmony 300 3watt combo.

Or vice-versa. What happened was the output tranny shorted out and the amp was never restored.

I took it to that big fat fucker Howard Dumble when he was working out of the famous Alley Studios on Lankershim at the time because he owed a favor to a friend of mine: the fucking amp sat there for almost a year before I got it back with nothing done on it.

It was my fault for fucking it up ok but damn, when some 15 year old comes to you crying his eyes out he fucked up his amp and you promise shit to him and you don't do it, you're a fucking asshole. So fuck the amazing Dumble. He doesn't shit gold and I don't need to deal with the ego.

[Hardrock69]

Nobody here needs to deal with your ego, Garfuckle.

[Nitro Express]

Garfuckle and big fat Dumble. I guess you have to be Stevie Ray Vaughn to get service.

[VanHalenFan5150]

I was playing the talent show at school last year, and the other band that was playing, was setting up to play Jimi Hendrix's classic, "Voodoo Child." So the guitarist, James, was setting up his wah pedal and then realized it wasn't working during a sound check. So then he pulls out his trusty Boss Distortion pedal and cranks the amp. From the sound booth comes a question: "Is the sound supposed to sound like that?" One of the tech guys must have never really listened to rock music much... Because James was giving out some really gnarly tones and quite a bit of feedback from the beast. He sarcastically answered "Yeah dude."

So silly...

[GAR]

Nobody here needs to deal with your ego, Garfuckle.

It's a fuckups-story thread. I'm sure a fuckup like you has at least a few dozen to cuntribute?

[Hardrock69]

Your life is just one big fuckup, Garfuckle.

And if I choose to cuntribute a story to this thread, it will be because I
want to, not because you sob when we smack you around.

[jhale667]

Garfuckle and big fat Dumble. I guess you have to be Stevie Ray Vaughn to get service.

Actually, story's always gone if you're even slightly a dick to him, Dumble bumps you to the back of the line, or tells you to get bent outright...guess we can extrapolate from that GAyR was a little douche even then....

[Nitro Express]

Sounds like he's the soup nazi of guitar amplification.

[GAR]

Actually, story's always gone if you're even slightly a dick to him, Dumble bumps you to the back of the line, or tells you to get bent outright.

So you're saying Dumble is a dick, or has gotten even worse over the years?

[Nitro Express]

Amp builders are a dime a dozen. There are a lot of good ones today. Why fuck with the Dumble dick? Other than having some famous players like his shit it's nothing that a lot of other people can make for you.

[GAR]

I now have 3 engineer types I can go-to for anything from simple repairs to full-out modification.

When I was 15 I didn't know anybody. I was my own go-to guy, and couldn't even afford solder or know why the solder my grandfather gave me with the 100watt gun couldn't help with the tiny wires in the guitar or amp jacks.

(tip: clean shiny metal tabs or freshly stripped wire, and rosin (acid core) center solder.

[jackassrock]

The first "real" guitar I ever bought was a '71 Les Paul goldtop Deluxe (previously I had an Ibanez RG570 and a Washburn WP-80). I promptly took out the bridge pickup, carved out the hole and placed an EMG 81 in it. Sounded damn good, but ruined the value of the guitar.

Then there was that time the opening band in Austin TX blew the output transformer on my JCM by firing it up without plugging it into a cab. Fuck those fucking guys in the face with a giant horse cock till they fucking die, and then bury them in a giant T shaped coffin with the dick still crammed down their throats.

[Hardrock69]

I now have 3 engineer types I can go-to for anything from simple repairs to full-out modification.

Another lie, from the King Of All Liars.


You admit you have not played in years, and that you have shit for gear, which has been in storage so long, it no longer works.

Look in the dictionary under the word "liar" and your picture is there.

Come to thing of it, your picture also appears under the definitions of "loser", "idiot" and "epic fail".