Sammy : Visited by Aliens?

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  • generalroth
    Head Fluffer
    • Jul 2004
    • 209

    Sammy : Visited by Aliens?

    SUSPECT: Sammy Hagar

    LOCATION: Fontana, California, 1968

    STORY: Hagar claims he was visited by alien life forms as many as four times, starting as early as 1968. According to Hagar, he woke up during one encounter while aliens were scanning his brain. The room was filled with light and Hagar could not move. He told Guitar World magazine: "The easiest way to put it is that they downloaded my brain information. When I was about 19 or 20, they downloaded everything that was in my head." We can only imagine the wealth of information that aliens now possess and plan on using against us.

    WHY WE'RE SKEPTICAL: Hagar alleges that when he awoke, he was shaking and felt nauseated. As owner of the Cabo Wabo tequila company, it is highly probable that Hagar saw mas tequila and not alien life forms. It's been scientifically documented that after drinking a bottle of tequila, people have been known to lose memory, speak in alien tongues and wake up abducted…by the police.

    LET'S START A CONSPIRACY: David Lee Roth once said, "Like a thunderbolt in your Cheerios, son, wake up and smell the toxic waste. They took it out of my Pop Tarts just when I was getting used to the taste. Actually, I haven't been to sleep since the late '80s. How do I look?" That has nothing to do with Sammy Hagar or UFOs, but it's funny as hell.











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