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This is the most bizarre review I've ever read. I hardly understand a word of it. Worthy even of Dave at his most stoned.
Village Voice
December 22-28, 2004
Bottoms Up! OU812! 5150! Hike! Stop! Hammer-on time!
25 or 6 to 1984
Van Halen are known for their legendary trademark and a long tain runnin' of numbers instead of words for titles, for instance calling thier 13th release III. Their new compilation doesn't include anything from that 1998 collaboration with Robbie "Jesus Is Just Alright" Robertson (from Extreme, whose ode to mute bitches was the "Isn't It Time to "Under the Bridge"'s "Roxanne), which consolidated Robertson's 1987 and 1991 Compact Discs, except with a less consisitent vocal approach (its theme from "The Great American Hero" even featured Ed singing) and more instrumental solo expression. In the meantime somebody at Rolling Stone magazine heard a copy of Diver Down, glanced at the cover, and consequently, thinking it was the White Stripes, placed Jack White at No. 17 in the magazine's "Greatest Guitarists Ever" poll.
After contemplating its future and considering Don Ho and Magnum McGarret as lead singers, the band reunited with Jason Scheff, who sang such hits as "I Don;t Wanna Live Without Your Love" and "Look Away" during the band's late 80's resurgence. He wrote some new songs here but unfortunately "VOA ('raise the flag/let it wave/shoot them down/to their graves') 2" isn't one of them. That would've been interesting in these exciting times, but instead "Up For Breakfast" sounds a little too obviously predesigned for the forthcoming CRANK WAFFLES halftime-show spot , however resigned yet unnnerving coming from the ontime Dean Martin of the guitar. Imagine waking up sober and realizing that's how good you're going to sound for the rest of your career. (One day at a time!) And then collaborating with a professional tequila drinker.
This two-for-one of ABACAB and Happy Mondays RAUNCH'N'ROLL LIVE is misleadingly led off by "Eruption". Now that anyone alive can play its second half, it's best heard a s field recording and would've better fit a compilation including Spanish Fly, Tora Tora, Cathedreal, Strung Out, Marin Muezzen from "Sammy Hagar Having Fun On Stage", Sunday Afternoon IN the Park, Saturday in the Park, Free-Form Guitar, Watermelon in Easter Hay, and the "Deer Hunter" theme.
However dedicated to the people of the revolution a direct challenge to Derek Bailey might be, it bears remembering that many people who prefer the Scheff shift to the Cetera era can at least prove they live their lives like they know there's a tomorrow and without love where would they be right now.
Dave Queen
(NOTE: it bears noting that upon transcribing this, it seems more coherent and funnier than when I first read it. Make of it what you will...
Village Voice
December 22-28, 2004
Bottoms Up! OU812! 5150! Hike! Stop! Hammer-on time!
25 or 6 to 1984
Van Halen are known for their legendary trademark and a long tain runnin' of numbers instead of words for titles, for instance calling thier 13th release III. Their new compilation doesn't include anything from that 1998 collaboration with Robbie "Jesus Is Just Alright" Robertson (from Extreme, whose ode to mute bitches was the "Isn't It Time to "Under the Bridge"'s "Roxanne), which consolidated Robertson's 1987 and 1991 Compact Discs, except with a less consisitent vocal approach (its theme from "The Great American Hero" even featured Ed singing) and more instrumental solo expression. In the meantime somebody at Rolling Stone magazine heard a copy of Diver Down, glanced at the cover, and consequently, thinking it was the White Stripes, placed Jack White at No. 17 in the magazine's "Greatest Guitarists Ever" poll.
After contemplating its future and considering Don Ho and Magnum McGarret as lead singers, the band reunited with Jason Scheff, who sang such hits as "I Don;t Wanna Live Without Your Love" and "Look Away" during the band's late 80's resurgence. He wrote some new songs here but unfortunately "VOA ('raise the flag/let it wave/shoot them down/to their graves') 2" isn't one of them. That would've been interesting in these exciting times, but instead "Up For Breakfast" sounds a little too obviously predesigned for the forthcoming CRANK WAFFLES halftime-show spot , however resigned yet unnnerving coming from the ontime Dean Martin of the guitar. Imagine waking up sober and realizing that's how good you're going to sound for the rest of your career. (One day at a time!) And then collaborating with a professional tequila drinker.
This two-for-one of ABACAB and Happy Mondays RAUNCH'N'ROLL LIVE is misleadingly led off by "Eruption". Now that anyone alive can play its second half, it's best heard a s field recording and would've better fit a compilation including Spanish Fly, Tora Tora, Cathedreal, Strung Out, Marin Muezzen from "Sammy Hagar Having Fun On Stage", Sunday Afternoon IN the Park, Saturday in the Park, Free-Form Guitar, Watermelon in Easter Hay, and the "Deer Hunter" theme.
However dedicated to the people of the revolution a direct challenge to Derek Bailey might be, it bears remembering that many people who prefer the Scheff shift to the Cetera era can at least prove they live their lives like they know there's a tomorrow and without love where would they be right now.
Dave Queen
(NOTE: it bears noting that upon transcribing this, it seems more coherent and funnier than when I first read it. Make of it what you will...
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