Alex and Eddie

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  • John Holmes

    Alex and Eddie

    I got inspired and here am I, posting a couple of jokes on the lying dutchmen.



    10 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH EDDIE FROM ALEX

    1 ) One can lie pretty well in interviews. The other can lie better.

    2 ) One took 15 years to put an end to his one marriage, the other put an end to 15 marriages, one per year.

    3 ) One smokes two packs a day of cigarettes. The other too. Where's the joke? Well, smokes give tongue cancer...

    4 ) One was a guitar god, the other was a joke. One turned into an has been, the other stayed the same.

    5 ) One was dumped by his wife 'cause he couldn't fuck her anymore due to alcohol abuse. The other was dumped by his last wife because no alcohol abuse could stop him to fuck other women.

    6 ) They both used to do Milk advertising. But one did prefer giving blow jobs, the other having a cumshot on his chest.

    7 ) One loves to speak and give interviews with tongue-in-cheek remarks. The other just can't.

    8 ) One has drunk enough booze to fill Lake Michigan. The other has enough brother-in-law's to populate Michigan.

    9 ) Both had frustrating friendships. One had Sammy Hagar as his best friend, the other had his own as his best friend.

    10 ) At NAMM, one showed up and people found him dressed like a bum and smelling of booze. The other showed up but nobody gave a fuck.

    --

    Well, I am good, admit it guys :D
    Last edited by John Holmes; 02-08-2005, 10:12 PM.
  • GAR
    Banned
    • Jan 2004
    • 10881

    #2
    You had my nose-milk at #2

    Comment

    • CVHfan
      Roadie
      • Nov 2004
      • 184

      #3
      That's pretty friggin funny. Seeing that picture reminded me how far downhill Eddie has gone. He at least looked healthy then.

      Comment

      • John Holmes

        #4
        A joke I could have added is about the teeth. Alex used to have good looking teeth, and Eddie messed up ones. Now Eddie has no teeth - according to that guy who met him on the plane -, and probably Alex wears a prothesis.

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        • John Holmes

          #5
          In that photo Eddie had a fatter face. He looked pretty healthy.

          I forgot a Wolfie joke. Wolfie is so fat The National Weather Agency assigns names to his farts.

          And while we're at it, Sammy is so fucking fat cockroaches
          use 4-wheelers to get over his fat rolls.

          Comment

          • John Holmes

            #6
            A sign you had been listening to Van Hagar for too long...

            Comment

            • Nitro Express
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Aug 2004
              • 32942

              #7
              Wolfie would fit right in with Jack and Kelly Osbourne. Cheeseburgers and Oxycodine anyone?
              No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

              Comment

              • Panamark
                DIAMOND STATUS
                • Jan 2004
                • 17161

                #8
                Aimee Osbourne is the real mystery package in that family. Didnt want anything to do with the show, and is actually quite thin. Unlike Jack and Kellie. Someone should post a pic of her.

                I agree that Wolfie looks like he hangs out with Jack and Kellie.
                BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
                Love ya Mary Frances!

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                • Panamark
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 17161

                  #9
                  Re: Ed and Al

                  One's father was Jan Van Halen.
                  BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
                  Love ya Mary Frances!

                  Comment

                  • John Holmes

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Panamark
                    Aimee Osbourne is the real mystery package in that family. Didnt want anything to do with the show, and is actually quite thin. Unlike Jack and Kellie. Someone should post a pic of her.
                    A pic of Aimee?



                    Here she is. That girl at her right is Paris Hilton, that stupid filthy whore who gets fucked in the famous video.

                    I'd say Aimee is fugly at best.



                    Wolfie says: "I'd fuck her dog-style, if only I was able to raise my fucking guts a bit".
                    Last edited by John Holmes; 02-10-2005, 02:32 PM.

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