So This Is Wool?

[houseofpain]

Holy Shit FORD! Wow! You know the three of us did so many of those, it's hard to say which one was the most classic. Although, someone wrote one at the original Army to that Being Humans song and wrote the whhole thing like they were Cheesegar writing a song about tornadoes. It was a riot. That's one I would like to find someday. Damn, those were the days, when you had me and redfire moderating forums at Links and Army and basically letting everything go that doesn't go today (over there anyway). And ripping on Cheesegar was not just actually allowed, it was encouraged...

[houseofpain]

dude it was billy007. Remember all the stories he used to make up about how Sammy and Van Hagar came up with songs. I remember a classic tale about a young Wolfie crwling around inside the piano while the tape was rolling and that was how they came up with Strungout...

[houseofpain]

here's a classic from Billy007 I found...

"In late 1983 I did a project with Neil Schon of Journey. Sometimes while rehearsing he would break into “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’” and I would try to sing it and I really decided that I like that “Na na na na na na…” bit at the end and always wanted to incorporate it into a song. I finally got an opportunity while in Van Halen when Edward presented me with the music that would become “When It’s Love”. I really liked what Ed had done and decided that I was going to make sure that this song was a showcase for the potential of what Van Halen could be. I found a book of poetry that had been left at our house by some 16 year-old girl who was babysitting the boys and got most of the lyrics from that, then I tacked on my ending and Voila! Another Van Halen masterpiece courtesy of the Red Rocker!"

[houseofpain]

More from Billy007!

"In 1992 sometime after finishing our For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Tour, we heard Jimmy Iovine was putting together a second A Very Special Christmas collection from different groups. I said to the guys, we could do this. So we recorded a song:
Ugh
Oh, yeah
Ow
Slide it in
Slide it down
Let me pass the goodies around
Gotta a day comin’
Ain’t no jive
Getcha ready for
December 25

Hey, Christmas time is coming again, yeah
Santa Claus is comin’ baby, you gonna let him in?
Christmas time, oh, let’s do it again
Hang up those stockings baby and let me in

Let me tell you one thing honey
You better save up all your damn money
Christmas comes but once a year, ugh
You want some presents baby
Well Sammy’s here, yeah!

Yes, Christmas time is coming again, you know?
Santa Claus is comin’ baby, you gonna let him in?
Christmas time, hey, let’s do it again
Hang up those stockings baby and let me in

(solo)

Said Christmas time is coming again, yeah
Santa Claus is comin’ baby, ow, you gonna let him in?
Christmas time, aw, let’s do it again
Hang up those stockings baby and let me in

Let me in now baby
C’Mon baby, please?
You want Sammy to be naughty or nice?
Aw, baby….

We made a nice video – I got a Red Rocker Santa Suit, we had fake snow, Alex wore reindeer antlers, Mikey dressed like an elf, we had some kids with us, just a good old time. We packaged the song and the video and sent ‘em in to Iovine and we never heard from him…"

[houseofpain]

Now if that didn't make your asses roll on the floor gasping for air, this will! Billy as well!


"Pulled up to 5150 today and there were a lot of cars already there so I had to park in front of a neighboring house. Took out a couple of lawn gnomes and a birdbath. Inside, Edward says we need to write a song for a movie about tornadoes. So I give it a shot:

There is just enough wind swirling
To make this trailer go whirling
Is that why there are no dodos?
Wiped out by f**king tornadoes?
You may not have a storm cellar
Well let me tell you this fella
When the cows fly by your window
You’ll know it’s a damn tornado
Stay down, stay down
Stay down, stay down
Yeah! Some low life weatherman talks jive
But just be glad you’re still alive
These big storms ain’t no small potatoes
Look out for those damn tornadoes
Stay down, stay down
Stay down, stay down

A masterpiece I thought, but then Edward says we can’t make the song about weather or tornadoes or nothing like that. Well, the movie’s gonna be called “Twister”, so I shot this out from the top of my head:

All of the kids at your high school
Will think that you look like a fool
Tangled up with your own sister
That’s okay you’re playing “Twister”…

Ed just shook his head and walked away…"

[houseofpain]

holy shit FORD! Those were the days. Man do I miss walking into the sheeps very own Up Front Fagnatic home thread and just breaking the freaking shears out on their asses...we was some crazy mother fuckers back in the day...

[houseofpain]

another classic post, only this is me making fun of Spammy trying to do So This Is Love


"I can just hear Sammy Hagar doing So This Is Love in concert with the boys. " Big double take but she keeps on jivin'..." Or " Check me out from my backside....." or " flip over, over on your front!" or perhaps he'd just " jive " thru Ed's solo. Enter solo, " hey shit now! You know this solo is badass! Makes me wanna hit the heavy bag! Shit I am stoked! Can yall here that jive comin' out of that man's guitar? Shit, I tell you, Ed can't drive 55 guys! Yeah its right here, right now folks! shit I gotta sing again! Ed you messed up my jive talkin'!"

[houseofpain]

http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/showthread.php?t=8389&highlight=Smile

I thought that bears some significance...

[Vinnie Velvet]

house!!!

Wussup bro!

VV 'ere.

Been a while since we've all since you around here.

EUAS REUNION!!!

[redfire]

You know, I really miss doing the Night Before Christmas, VH-style... Billy007's Lost Tapes were freaking classic. I need to find the Source of Infection parody, cause that was a masterpiece.

[FORD]

Originally posted by redfire
You know, I really miss doing the Night Before Christmas, VH-style... Billy007's Lost Tapes were freaking classic. I need to find the Source of Infection parody, cause that was a masterpiece.

Wasn't that like a CB radio thing or something? :D

Damn, I'd forgotten all about Billy's Lost Sammy Tapes. They were far better than even Hagar's actual "unreleased book" - which itself was more entertaining than his music.

[houseofpain]

"breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9. This is the red rocker how boutcha now come on?"

Absolutley has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Right along with, "I, the red rocker, walked into the studio one day, and Ed's kid Wolfie is crawlin' around inside the piano banging on shit. I looked over and the tape was rolling. Little did I know, when we released Balance, Ed would throw that material in there and call it Strungout." Or something to that effect.

Isn't billy007 a mod at links now or something?

[Nickdfresh]

I just kicked this thread up over at the LINKS. Watched the hilarity ensue as Nickdfresh meets his VH LINKS demise.

I know somewhere that Brett is smiling over this!:D

http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/showthread.php?p=398174#post398174

[TOM_5150]

You should get Dave and the boys to record this!!