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HEY!!!! WOooooOOOooOoo...AAAAH-HA!!!!!!
Today's lecture is on excitement, the generation and use of it, and the lack of generation forthwith as relates to the inferior compositional values of Van Hagar.
**Ahem**
RUSTOFFA.....if you are NOT going to pay attention, you may leave the class.....
Thorman, you do not belong here....you have failed how many semesters? Do I need to call campus security to have you removed?
Ok...where were we....
Notice when listening to Classic Van Halen that there is way more going on vocally than the standard "melodies", "Harmonies", etc.
One of the most famousest of these examples is..."Alright....one break...coming up!!" or "I like the way the line runs up the back of her stockings..."
But what adds to the general electricity and the crazed intensity that goes on during each song is Dave in the background hollering, or yelling "HEY!!!" or whistling, or doing some drunk sounding yodel.....or just doing some commentary while watching a porn video "NO NO NO don't take em off!"
Listen to all A.D. (After Dave) Van Hagar, and what do you hear besides lead and background vocals.....
Nothing.
Silence.
LAMENESS.
Even on a Van Halen album, they were SUCCESSFUL at transferring the general insanity of their live show onto vinyl or cassette! Part of that was due to Dave getting all excited and improvising and creating a ruckus of some sort.
IT gives the atmosphere of the finished product a feeling of complete spur-of-the-moment immediacy....like a train that is out of control with Uncle Dave as the Maitre D' of the Party car.
You heard the record, recognized it for what it was...powerful and uplifting..intense and reactionarily living in the moment. THEN you went to see them live in concert, and had your brain erased.
ALL others paled in comparison.
But the whole thing is the excitement generated by that band. Live or in the studio.
They were the keepers of that ever-elusive "IT".
As I said before, Spammy just traded his old band in and traded up to having Van Halen as his backup band, much to the detriment and poisoning of the Van Halen legacy, reputation and spiritual effect on the inner party aminals of us all.....
May GOD CURSE VAN HAGAR, that they may NEVER work together again for any reason.
Van Hagar muzak is lame. It is buttoned down formula-rock.
Their recorded output has been an abomination on the eyes of the Lord. and should be erased from the minds of men.
Or else inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame in the Most Suckass Band Of All Time Category.
When Spammy came along, he just grafted his lame musical persona over on top of the Sisters and Mikey...preventing them from ever doing anything remotely exciting again....
Dave could burn a hole in the sun....
Spammy could not even light his own farts....
Thus endeth the lecture.
I will expect a 357,000 word essay by Monday on the psychology that drives the mental illness exhibited by people with insufficient brain-power to understand what the terms "Lame" and "Van Hagar" have in common.
Note that my latest updated Supreme Lexicon Of The English Language defines the term "Lame" as follows:
lame
adj 1: pathetically lacking in force or effectiveness; "a feeble excuse"; "a lame argument" [syn: feeble]
2: Any form of presentation conceived or exhibited to the public by the Rock group Van Halen, as fronted by Rock musician Sammy Hagar; See also Dull, Weak, Boring, Sellout.
n 1: someone who doesn't understand what is going on [syn: square]
2: Thorman, Tom Vu, 3 Lock Box
That is all for today, Ladies & Gentlemen.
Enjoy your weekend.....
**Ahem**
RUSTOFFA.....if you are NOT going to pay attention, you may leave the class.....
Thorman, you do not belong here....you have failed how many semesters? Do I need to call campus security to have you removed?
Ok...where were we....
Notice when listening to Classic Van Halen that there is way more going on vocally than the standard "melodies", "Harmonies", etc.
One of the most famousest of these examples is..."Alright....one break...coming up!!" or "I like the way the line runs up the back of her stockings..."
But what adds to the general electricity and the crazed intensity that goes on during each song is Dave in the background hollering, or yelling "HEY!!!" or whistling, or doing some drunk sounding yodel.....or just doing some commentary while watching a porn video "NO NO NO don't take em off!"
Listen to all A.D. (After Dave) Van Hagar, and what do you hear besides lead and background vocals.....
Nothing.
Silence.
LAMENESS.
Even on a Van Halen album, they were SUCCESSFUL at transferring the general insanity of their live show onto vinyl or cassette! Part of that was due to Dave getting all excited and improvising and creating a ruckus of some sort.
IT gives the atmosphere of the finished product a feeling of complete spur-of-the-moment immediacy....like a train that is out of control with Uncle Dave as the Maitre D' of the Party car.
You heard the record, recognized it for what it was...powerful and uplifting..intense and reactionarily living in the moment. THEN you went to see them live in concert, and had your brain erased.
ALL others paled in comparison.
But the whole thing is the excitement generated by that band. Live or in the studio.
They were the keepers of that ever-elusive "IT".
As I said before, Spammy just traded his old band in and traded up to having Van Halen as his backup band, much to the detriment and poisoning of the Van Halen legacy, reputation and spiritual effect on the inner party aminals of us all.....
May GOD CURSE VAN HAGAR, that they may NEVER work together again for any reason.
Van Hagar muzak is lame. It is buttoned down formula-rock.
Their recorded output has been an abomination on the eyes of the Lord. and should be erased from the minds of men.
Or else inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame in the Most Suckass Band Of All Time Category.
When Spammy came along, he just grafted his lame musical persona over on top of the Sisters and Mikey...preventing them from ever doing anything remotely exciting again....
Dave could burn a hole in the sun....
Spammy could not even light his own farts....
Thus endeth the lecture.
I will expect a 357,000 word essay by Monday on the psychology that drives the mental illness exhibited by people with insufficient brain-power to understand what the terms "Lame" and "Van Hagar" have in common.
Note that my latest updated Supreme Lexicon Of The English Language defines the term "Lame" as follows:
lame
adj 1: pathetically lacking in force or effectiveness; "a feeble excuse"; "a lame argument" [syn: feeble]
2: Any form of presentation conceived or exhibited to the public by the Rock group Van Halen, as fronted by Rock musician Sammy Hagar; See also Dull, Weak, Boring, Sellout.
n 1: someone who doesn't understand what is going on [syn: square]
2: Thorman, Tom Vu, 3 Lock Box
That is all for today, Ladies & Gentlemen.
Enjoy your weekend.....
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