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Dear Mo'Fo's that populate.. this mother'fuckin board,
Sammy Hagar is back with Van Halen, of which I have likened to poop returning back into the butthole.. but enough of that.
We came here to talk about something much greater.
My Dick..
As my woman was playing with the teabags and trying to squeeze the creme out of my twinkie last night... she told me that I had the largest dick that she has ever seen.
Now let me give you a mental image of my beatch.
She is 45, and ex wrestler/marine/bodyguard, roofer.
She currently works as a long distance truckdriver.
She smokes 2 packs of Chesterfields a day and has a cameltoe about 18 inches across.
Her ass looks like a sack of flour... I seen more back on a flamingo
She bleaches her hair and owns a 1984 Camaro, with the original paintjob intact.
It's nothing for her to get drunk and screw half the bar.. chicks included.
What I am trying to say is, she has been around and seen some dicks in her day.
I am guessing more than 500 less than 700 cocks have been presented to her.
More bones were buried in her than in a fuckin cemetary.
More meat was laid in her than a slawterhouse.
More pipe was laid between her legs that in the Sears Tower.
She has wrinkles and stretch marks around her mouth, but it ain't from smoking.
It's probably from some black dude down south that she met during her truck driving days.
Anyways...
Hagar might have joined forces with Eddie Van Halen again,
But he will never... ever..
Have a bigger dick than me.
Look at the fucker.
No wonder he sings bitch ass woman songs.
Here I am walking around with a pogo stick between my legs and Hagar and his 5 foot 3 inch self is bare.
The doctor told him that he had an "Innie" instead of an "outie"
The moral of the story is...
No matter what these lame ass fuckers say about Dave, and no matter how much Van Hagar ruins the Van Halen name,
All they have is a 58 Year Old Singer with a nub for a dick and old saggy man balls.
Dick Face Out.
PS. At least I can look down and see my dick unlike some of you fat fuckers who look down and all you see is gut.
Or the top of some guys head.
FUCK YOU GENERAL HINA, LSD, THE FIVE AND EVERYONE ELSE!
I will continue to rock on with Van Halen and my Elephant Sized Cock!
Sammy Hagar is back with Van Halen, of which I have likened to poop returning back into the butthole.. but enough of that.
We came here to talk about something much greater.
My Dick..
As my woman was playing with the teabags and trying to squeeze the creme out of my twinkie last night... she told me that I had the largest dick that she has ever seen.
Now let me give you a mental image of my beatch.
She is 45, and ex wrestler/marine/bodyguard, roofer.
She currently works as a long distance truckdriver.
She smokes 2 packs of Chesterfields a day and has a cameltoe about 18 inches across.
Her ass looks like a sack of flour... I seen more back on a flamingo
She bleaches her hair and owns a 1984 Camaro, with the original paintjob intact.
It's nothing for her to get drunk and screw half the bar.. chicks included.
What I am trying to say is, she has been around and seen some dicks in her day.
I am guessing more than 500 less than 700 cocks have been presented to her.
More bones were buried in her than in a fuckin cemetary.
More meat was laid in her than a slawterhouse.
More pipe was laid between her legs that in the Sears Tower.
She has wrinkles and stretch marks around her mouth, but it ain't from smoking.
It's probably from some black dude down south that she met during her truck driving days.
Anyways...
Hagar might have joined forces with Eddie Van Halen again,
But he will never... ever..
Have a bigger dick than me.
Look at the fucker.
No wonder he sings bitch ass woman songs.
Here I am walking around with a pogo stick between my legs and Hagar and his 5 foot 3 inch self is bare.
The doctor told him that he had an "Innie" instead of an "outie"
The moral of the story is...
No matter what these lame ass fuckers say about Dave, and no matter how much Van Hagar ruins the Van Halen name,
All they have is a 58 Year Old Singer with a nub for a dick and old saggy man balls.
Dick Face Out.
PS. At least I can look down and see my dick unlike some of you fat fuckers who look down and all you see is gut.
Or the top of some guys head.
FUCK YOU GENERAL HINA, LSD, THE FIVE AND EVERYONE ELSE!
I will continue to rock on with Van Halen and my Elephant Sized Cock!
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