TURDSday Who Is Listeining T2o DAVE?

[Phil theStalker]

Gooooood mmmorning everyo1ne.

Tit's da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in da mmmornings.

I'm with yoo everyday f4or da nexxxt f4our hours whether yoo like tit or not.

SO WELCOME T2O THE PHIL THE STALKER SHOW

SHITTY TURDSDAY

Copyright 5:55am 2006


Dis GIG is getting better alda time. I'm feellin' semen-professional here. I've been here f4or da past f4our days straight. And I've set up sum insTITutions, like mmmy daily shit which seems t2o come eggzactly 30 mmminutes after I hear DAVE start talking.

I swear I doon't know why dat is, folks.

Tit just is.

I'll bee back wit mmore aff da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in the mmornings.

Where are mmy co=hosts?

Da boyz are back in town.

tHey're Hangin Round At PHIL THE STALKER SHOW n da Mmornings

Spreead da werd!

[Phil theStalker]

I thought I'd talk aboot MY COCK Robin dayz t2oday and DAVE is talking aboot myquock mmonkeeys.

KFC myquock mmonkeyys in da mmornings.

Acttually I've heeard DAVE talking aboot drinking his REd Bull sugar free so I had sum mmacaroni and beef aboot 15 mminutes ago dat I left out on mmy stove all last nite.

So t2oday's daily SHIT mmay bee a combo VOMIT and SHITTING TURDSDAY wit DAVE in da mmorning. I'm fffeeling tit alrreedy.

On wit da show.

I'm listening t2o DAVE talke aboot his fish OSCAR swimming through da Jello DAVE put in his aquarium. I tootally beelieve dis story.

TIT'S SHITTING TURDSDAY
on da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in da mmornings.

BRB

[Golden AWe]

waiting for cato to show up, then the whole crew would be here!

let's have some ketchup on the supermodel's breasts while waiting for cato.

strange music cummin' up any minute now.

where's fuckhowardstern? he left with hitch?

[Phil theStalker]

PHIL THE STALKER LIVE on da INTWATNET in da mmornings

SHITTING TURDSDAY

Wot I'm dooing is a Labore aff LOVE.

When peeps all ova da werld know yer gooing t2o bee there wit them everyday at da same fakking time they treet yoo differently.

And I'm not getting PAID f4or dooing dis LIVE gig in mmy bedroom studio.

So let's have dat R-E-S-P-ECT!

I'm comming back with da NEWS, SPORTS, TRAFFIK, AND WEEATHER

TIt's da PHIL THE STALKER LIVE SHOW on da INTWATNET in da mmornings.

[Phil theStalker]

PHIL THE STALKER LIVE on da INTWATNET inda mmornings.

I get better ratings than Micheal Stanley!

I'm spurting out LIVE all ova da werld LIVELY on da INTWATNET and

TIT'S SHITTING TURDSDAY

AND I'M REEDY T2O SHIT

Here's da mmainstream I promised. I'm dooing POLLLS dis mmorning aloong wit da NEWSS and stuff.

WEEATHER: CLEAVLAND IS A GLACIER, DRESS AND DRIVE APPOORIATLEY

TRAFFIC: WINTERIFIC FUN!

SPORTS: CLEAVELAND LOST

NEWS: ROTH REMOVES ABORETUM FROM STUIDO VOWS TO NEEVER GROW INDOORS ON 95TH STREET AGIN

Okay, done wit dat.

I promised POLLLS dis mmorning. I starTITed taking stats at 5:30am. Hree' how tit looks so far.

5:30am 25 Mmembers 170 Guests

5:45am 21 mEMbas 149 Guests - Ooops tit's getting worse!

6:00am 26 membas 160 guests - Ahhh, tit's getting betta!



How's da heater in yer peeter?

DAVE'S worried aboot a sumboody's pet python beeing left behind during a move and coming up his toilet and biting his liTITle tight Jewish ass.

Like CLOCK werk. Tit's eggzactly 6:30am and tit's 30 mminutes after I've heard DAVE starTIT speaking.

I'mm feeling like I'm gonna have t2o take a mmean shit agin LIVE wit you.

BRB afta mmy SHITTING TURDSDAY.




EdiTITed da caps f4 BOLD

[Golden AWe]

my roth radio is not working properly at the moment

it's good to have this one, in case i don't hear dave all the time

KEWL!!!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
waiting for cato to show up, then the whole crew would be here!

let's have some ketchup on the supermodel's breasts while waiting for cato.

strange music cummin' up any minute now.

where's fuckhowardstern? he left with hitch?

Ah, o1ne aff mmmy co=ho' has actually shown up.

Hi, hiya doin'g, Golden AWe.

Now I can take mmmy [COLOR=red]SHIT[/SIZE].

Take tit ova, mmy brotha!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
my roth radio is not working properly at the moment

it's good to have this one, in case i don't hear dave all the time

KEWL!!!

Wait till yoo see wot comes outta mme dis mmorning, Golden AWe.

How mmany jobs are yoo werking rite now?

[Phil theStalker]

I'm back.

Where's mmy co=ho'?

I just t2ook o1ne aff those 'Jack da Ripper' shits. Not so mmuch a fat o1ne as tit was a DRY o1ne. Tit's ripped da hairs right outta mmy ass!

And da VOMIT.

I t2ook DAVE'S lead wit his REd Bull sugar free and I had a Good American Breakfast aff mmacaroni and beef dat I left out all nite on mmy stove. I've got no o1ne and I'm lonely. Butt I digress.

Dat's mme prettending I have a fakking liFe.

Golden AWe is back wit mme dis mmorning so I'm not t2otally aloone. He's werking mmulTITple jobs rite now taking care aff his dying asbestos clients and co=ho'ing mmy LIVE show wit mme.

He dooes tit all. Da shit literally flies int2o Golden AWe's hands and he begins t2o juggle tit. Now back t2o mmy bigg shit on mmy SHITTING TURDSDAY

I found a pimple.

Yep.

I'm gooing t2o need t2o stand just like DAVE stands during his LIVE show in NYC.

I'm gonna stand liike DAVE rite now. I cun't take tit anymo'. I'll tell yoo aboot mmy shit in a mminute. I've gotta doo sumthing wit mmy studio keybooad.

Rite now I'm gooing to jerry-rig mmy tie on acoustic guitar strap t2o mmy keyboard...


I'M BACK! And I'm standing up just like DAVE does in his studio.

Now back t2o mmy shit while tit's still fressh in mmy mmind.

Tit turNds out SHITTING and VOMItitING is appparently an evloutionary thang since shitting alone will not kill you, butt vomiTITing and shitTITing to2getha can asphyxiate yoo.

Da mmacaroni and beef I ate an hour ago mmoved up int2o my bronkial tubes and allmoost choked mme t2o death.

Now back t2o da vomit. While all da shitting was going on, da vomit was still on tit's way up. By da time I had allmost collapsed on da toilet, mmy mmouth had filled up with a gooey portion aff da mmacaroni and beef I had just cuntsumed.

OK, so wot does da human boody inSTINKtively doo when vomiting?

O1ne bends ova.

So I bent ova.

I wuz still stiTITing on da toilet though.

Theref4ore, bending ova resulTITed in mme placing mmy head aboove mmy now slightly open leggs.

Oh, did I mmention dat I was wearing not pants, butt mmy pajama seat pants with elastic on da ankles and da waist?

And there was no fakking toilet paper.

I hooked up a hose.

I have o1ne in da bathroom f4or mmy bachelor DAVE pad washing mmachine.

Mmy shit ripped and mmy mmararoni and beef blew chunks rite int2o mmy sweat pants and filled them up. I had t2o hurry back t2o my INTWATNET werldwide studio so I finished cleaning meself aff and came back t2o mmy studio NAKED.

Now I'm standing just like DAVE stands in his studio. I've got mmy keybord guitar belTITed t2o myself and I'm ready f4or mmore aff da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE on da Intwatnet in da mornings.

I've VOMItitED and shat at da same fakking time.

MY WERK HERE IS DONE f4or SHITTING TURDDSDAY.

Flush.

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

7:00am 38 Members 161 Guessts - Eh

[Phil theStalker]

So I'm standing here NAKED in mmy bedroom studio wit mmy keyboard belted ont2o mme wit mmy acoustic guitar strap.

Tit's cold.

Where are any aff mmy co-ho's?

Dis is gearing up.

[Phil theStalker]

I need mmy co-hosts f4or a liTITle chatter.

Where are mmy co-ho's?

[Cato]

who called my name who called my name?

[Golden AWe]

Originally posted by Phil theStalker
Wait till yoo see wot comes outta mme dis mmorning, Golden AWe.

How mmany jobs are yoo werking rite now?

About four, two of them simultaneously

i'd ask for my paycheck but for a program this good, i'll work for free, this IS art

and the grrrls outside the studio are hottt, even though it's dahm cold outside

GRETT!!!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Cato
who called my name who called my name?

I called yer name, butt yer not there.

Welcome abored, Cato.

I'm in CLEAVLEAND, butt I wish I was in West Palm Beach.

How'ya doin'g t2oday, Cato?

Let's git sum early mmorning chatter gooing f4or da folks, bro.