Burn Sammy In Effigy @ BURNING FATMAN CONCERT 2004

[GAR]

Doroty and I have been scouting these campgrounds of the former Burning Man 2003 playa grounds; not too shabby.



A nice level playing field, we'll setup stage here and erect a huge fat frame, torch it, then summon the Aliens to take Sammy out of Van Halen for us. But first as in any planning stage, we need to answer some obvious questions.



Can I have some help in this?
How many bands do I need?
How many played Burning Man 2003?
Will there be casualties?
can we even get van hagar to play?
Has anyone here ever summoned a Alien, besides to tell him how to cut the fucking grass on your lawn?
Will the FBI get involved and help us locate some Aliens?



*our operating expenses: $47 dollars, some slurpee coupons, and a Floyd Rose adjustment tool. So were about $50 bucks ahead of everybody else - and that's just the left pocket - which is really fucking cool.

[Roth kills Sam]

I don't know how to help you, but I just want to take a moment and explain how much I friggin hate Sammy Hagar's mom for having him. I want to punch her right in the face

[GAR]

I'm thinking it woud be good to have Sammy Hagar HIMSELF at our BurningFat Man 2004 because then the Aliens (aka "The Nine") would sense the LoJack™ they implanted up Sammy's rectus and that could possibly prevent us from an Extraterrestrial Nuclear Attack from fuckin' Space and shit.

However, I'm flush outta ideas on what to base its theme on, you know how they had "The Concert for Bangaladesh" "The Concert for Farmers' Aid" and soforth?

Unless you folks got better ideas, I'm sending off orders for the banner guy to print up "Concert for Alien Awareness" cuz my Top Ramen's overcooking and I can't stress how much more valuable that is to me than anything connected with Sammy Hagar.