Van Halen tour - real opportunity for comedy
Feb. 01, 2007




OK, LET'S SEE a show of hands. Who's excited about this summer's big Van Halen reunion?
Not me. And nobody with any kind of well-sculpted, self-respecting mullet back in the '80s loved Van Halen more than me.
First off, let's see them make it through the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony first. There's some real potential for embarrassment there, depending on how long David Lee Roth's speech runs, how many midgets and strippers he brings along, and whether Eddie Van Halen decides to let bassist Michael Anthony play with the band. There won't be enough shame to go around if he decides to jam his 15-year-old son into the mix instead.
Not that I have anything against midgets or strippers. Or midget-strippers, for that matter. But it's no longer the days of "Dave TV," and there's enough potential for unintentional comedy and downright ugliness at these things every year without David Lee Roth wearing a big sombrero and making tequila jokes at Sammy Hagar's expense.
Then again ...
By the way ... anyone else concerned about ol' Dave's voice on a prolonged tour, without Michael Anthony's soaring, monstrous high-harmonies? Van Halen -- and again, a band for which I truly mourn because it was so gigantically great back in the day -- was borderline lame last time it pulled through, with Hagar. Say what you want about Sam, but he can still sing and was trying to salvage what could've been a real disaster. As was Anthony, whose friendship and musical alliance with Hagar got him kicked out of Van Halen. Instead, we get a 15-year-old bassist on a supposed "reunion" tour.
Twenty-five years ago, I would've plunged a letter opener into my spleen before believing I'd ever say the following, but seeing the Police this summer is a much better bet.
Feb. 01, 2007




OK, LET'S SEE a show of hands. Who's excited about this summer's big Van Halen reunion?
Not me. And nobody with any kind of well-sculpted, self-respecting mullet back in the '80s loved Van Halen more than me.
First off, let's see them make it through the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony first. There's some real potential for embarrassment there, depending on how long David Lee Roth's speech runs, how many midgets and strippers he brings along, and whether Eddie Van Halen decides to let bassist Michael Anthony play with the band. There won't be enough shame to go around if he decides to jam his 15-year-old son into the mix instead.
Not that I have anything against midgets or strippers. Or midget-strippers, for that matter. But it's no longer the days of "Dave TV," and there's enough potential for unintentional comedy and downright ugliness at these things every year without David Lee Roth wearing a big sombrero and making tequila jokes at Sammy Hagar's expense.
Then again ...
By the way ... anyone else concerned about ol' Dave's voice on a prolonged tour, without Michael Anthony's soaring, monstrous high-harmonies? Van Halen -- and again, a band for which I truly mourn because it was so gigantically great back in the day -- was borderline lame last time it pulled through, with Hagar. Say what you want about Sam, but he can still sing and was trying to salvage what could've been a real disaster. As was Anthony, whose friendship and musical alliance with Hagar got him kicked out of Van Halen. Instead, we get a 15-year-old bassist on a supposed "reunion" tour.
Twenty-five years ago, I would've plunged a letter opener into my spleen before believing I'd ever say the following, but seeing the Police this summer is a much better bet.

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