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(LOUNGE did a bit of this in an earlier thread...an excuse to be creative...)
DAVE: Let's open with HOT FOR TEACHER.
spED: We're opening with ERUPTION. Then Wolfgang and I are going to do a duet of 316.
AL: Then my drum solo.
WOLFGANG: Daddy, you said I could sing a song!
ED: That's right!! Then Wolfgang is gonna sing HOT FOR TEACHER...because he really is.
DAVE: What the...
ED: I've seen her, Dave! She really is hot!
DAVE: This is bullshit. Four performances, and I haven't sung a song yet?
ED: And you're lucky you will at all. Now let's practice ROMEO DELIGHT.
(The back kicks in ROMEO DELIGHT, which is a new version that begins with a three-minute guitar solo with no vocals. After a minute, Dave calls the performance to a halt.)
DAVE (pointing at WOLFIE): That kid can't fucking play!
ED: He's a Van Halen...of course he can. And we won't have Anthony selling hot sauce on the radio in every city. (Takes another puff of his cigarette.)
DAVE: We need a working band. This is our legacy here.
ED (pointing at the computer): No, this is several million dollars each, with many sold-out shows speculated. It doesn't matter how well we play.
(Ed takes off his guitar.)
ED: In fact, I'm done for the week. Let's go over a couple of songs next week. This'll be fine.
(Wolfgang eats a hero sandwich, Alex takes a call from one of his ex-wives while working on his combination neck-brace/pacifier, Ed lights up three smokes at once for himself and pours himself a Jagermeister, Dave goes outside for a run and takes his wallet with him...)
DAVE: Let's open with HOT FOR TEACHER.
spED: We're opening with ERUPTION. Then Wolfgang and I are going to do a duet of 316.
AL: Then my drum solo.
WOLFGANG: Daddy, you said I could sing a song!
ED: That's right!! Then Wolfgang is gonna sing HOT FOR TEACHER...because he really is.
DAVE: What the...
ED: I've seen her, Dave! She really is hot!
DAVE: This is bullshit. Four performances, and I haven't sung a song yet?
ED: And you're lucky you will at all. Now let's practice ROMEO DELIGHT.
(The back kicks in ROMEO DELIGHT, which is a new version that begins with a three-minute guitar solo with no vocals. After a minute, Dave calls the performance to a halt.)
DAVE (pointing at WOLFIE): That kid can't fucking play!
ED: He's a Van Halen...of course he can. And we won't have Anthony selling hot sauce on the radio in every city. (Takes another puff of his cigarette.)
DAVE: We need a working band. This is our legacy here.
ED (pointing at the computer): No, this is several million dollars each, with many sold-out shows speculated. It doesn't matter how well we play.
(Ed takes off his guitar.)
ED: In fact, I'm done for the week. Let's go over a couple of songs next week. This'll be fine.
(Wolfgang eats a hero sandwich, Alex takes a call from one of his ex-wives while working on his combination neck-brace/pacifier, Ed lights up three smokes at once for himself and pours himself a Jagermeister, Dave goes outside for a run and takes his wallet with him...)
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