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I wrote this article four years ago and posted it on my gay (as Hitch calls it) Yahoo Van Halen web-page.
I though that some of you might be interested in reading it. I have to admit that I went back through it and edited some of the material to reflect how I feel now. Four years is a long time, and I dont feel the same way as I did back then.
Some of you might recognize this as I posted a link here to the article four years ago. Four years? Man...time rolls on...
11.02.00
I don’t know about you, but I kind of hope that the reunion never happens. Yeah, that’s right, I said that I hope it never happens. I think that it’s kind of cool that there are artists still out there who won’t sweep 25 years of mutual hatred for each other under the rug, pretend that it never happened, just for a big payday.
Van Halen wanted to do it, don’t get me wrong. Everyone has heard the rumors…CC Deville to Sammy Hagar have said that they were getting it going again with Roth, but couldn’t go all the way. Dave lives for the spotlight, and he’s been practically BEGGING to get the band back together for the past three years. The general public doesn’t want another Dave solo record, and nobody wants to see another Van Halen record without Dave.
And they were finally going to do it, too. They were going to sell out. But fate stepped in and saved all of us the embarrassment of watching Dave and Eddie pretend like it was 1982 again and nothing had changed. Fate stepped in and saved all of the true Van Halen fans the injustice of the recording industry hype machine that would have pimped the boys all over town. The probably would have had the Backstreet Boys open for them on a Disney Channel special.
So what went wrong (or right, if you ask me)? Here is an imaginary time line that I think isn’t too far fetched if you really think about it:
1995…Edward seriously attempts sobriety for fear of losing his wife and son. His egomaniacal tendencies get exposed because the sweet numbing embrace of alcohol is gone. Sammy no longer has his Cabo Wabo drinking buddy and starts taking verbal shots at Eddie. Hey, he’s been in the band for ten years, right? What were they gonna do, kick him out?
1996…Eddie kicks Sammy out of the band and announces that they are in the studio with David Lee Roth (he’ll show that ungrateful Hagar!), recording two new songs for a forthcoming Greatest Hits CD. At this point Roth is psyched because he gets to be “David Lee Roth: Singer for Van Halen” again, instead of “David Lee Roth: Solo Act”. Unfortunately, Eddie, who by this time must have been really craving one of those big cans of Schlitz he’s always holding in those 1970’s pictures of Van Halen, forgets to tell Roth that he’s not really back in the band. But they were having a grand ‘ol time back at 5150. The chemistry was still there. The Brown Sound returns, once they scraped some rust off. But all the while, Eddie was looking at Dave with his teeth clenched, thinking about that off the cuff remark Dave made about Valerie’s small bra size in front of 30,000 fans back in 1980. He’s seething. No booze to smooth it over.
September 1996…MTV Video Music Awards. We all saw it. We all heard about the back stage press conference and how they bickered like six-year-old kids in the schoolyard. I’m convinced of this: Dave and Eddie can’t be in the same room together unless Eddie has a beer or a guitar in his hands. Those are the two things that he has hidden behind for all of his life. When he has neither, and Roth is nearby, he goes temporarily insane.
1997-98…The search for the third singer in Eddie Van Halen’s band concludes with the announcement that ex-Extreme frontman Gary Cherrone has joined up. “Van Halen: The Broadway Show” begins.
1998…Van Halen III is released, and it tanks. No one wants to hear it. Most people have blocked it from their memories. But something MAJOR happens next: Warner Brothers Records gets pissed because VH III barely sells 500,000 copies.
2000…“Van Halen: The Broadway Show” goes back to 5150 to write and record the sequel (remember back…they had songs, titles and a name for the new album). Then all of a sudden, Gary is out! What the hell happened? Here’s what I think: Warner Brothers went to Eddie with an ultimatum…do another album with Dave, or get dropped from the label. They weren’t about to invest any time, money or promotion on another album that the fans would reject. And Eddie has enough money to start his own label, I’m sure, but the embarrassment from being dropped by WB would have been too much for any sober man to accept. So Eddie was backed into a corner.
Summer 2000…Dave is secretly writing and recording at 5150. Eddie is pretending like 25 years of hating David Lee Roth never happened. Everything was proceeding towards the biggest reunion album and tour of all time. Another MAJOR event happens: old band managers catch wind of the reunion and want their cut. The lawyers get involved and it’s not pretty. The issue of catalog royalties comes up. Tempers flare. Writing and recording stop because no-one wants to waste their time until the legal battles are hashed out. And Eddie and Dave end up sitting on a couch inside of 5150, just staring each other down for four months. One of them blinked, and I’m sure that it was Eddie. Dave was just getting used to being “Dave” again. He really wanted to do it. He needs the spotlight. Eddie needs a drink.
I though that some of you might be interested in reading it. I have to admit that I went back through it and edited some of the material to reflect how I feel now. Four years is a long time, and I dont feel the same way as I did back then.
Some of you might recognize this as I posted a link here to the article four years ago. Four years? Man...time rolls on...
11.02.00
I don’t know about you, but I kind of hope that the reunion never happens. Yeah, that’s right, I said that I hope it never happens. I think that it’s kind of cool that there are artists still out there who won’t sweep 25 years of mutual hatred for each other under the rug, pretend that it never happened, just for a big payday.
Van Halen wanted to do it, don’t get me wrong. Everyone has heard the rumors…CC Deville to Sammy Hagar have said that they were getting it going again with Roth, but couldn’t go all the way. Dave lives for the spotlight, and he’s been practically BEGGING to get the band back together for the past three years. The general public doesn’t want another Dave solo record, and nobody wants to see another Van Halen record without Dave.
And they were finally going to do it, too. They were going to sell out. But fate stepped in and saved all of us the embarrassment of watching Dave and Eddie pretend like it was 1982 again and nothing had changed. Fate stepped in and saved all of the true Van Halen fans the injustice of the recording industry hype machine that would have pimped the boys all over town. The probably would have had the Backstreet Boys open for them on a Disney Channel special.
So what went wrong (or right, if you ask me)? Here is an imaginary time line that I think isn’t too far fetched if you really think about it:
1995…Edward seriously attempts sobriety for fear of losing his wife and son. His egomaniacal tendencies get exposed because the sweet numbing embrace of alcohol is gone. Sammy no longer has his Cabo Wabo drinking buddy and starts taking verbal shots at Eddie. Hey, he’s been in the band for ten years, right? What were they gonna do, kick him out?
1996…Eddie kicks Sammy out of the band and announces that they are in the studio with David Lee Roth (he’ll show that ungrateful Hagar!), recording two new songs for a forthcoming Greatest Hits CD. At this point Roth is psyched because he gets to be “David Lee Roth: Singer for Van Halen” again, instead of “David Lee Roth: Solo Act”. Unfortunately, Eddie, who by this time must have been really craving one of those big cans of Schlitz he’s always holding in those 1970’s pictures of Van Halen, forgets to tell Roth that he’s not really back in the band. But they were having a grand ‘ol time back at 5150. The chemistry was still there. The Brown Sound returns, once they scraped some rust off. But all the while, Eddie was looking at Dave with his teeth clenched, thinking about that off the cuff remark Dave made about Valerie’s small bra size in front of 30,000 fans back in 1980. He’s seething. No booze to smooth it over.
September 1996…MTV Video Music Awards. We all saw it. We all heard about the back stage press conference and how they bickered like six-year-old kids in the schoolyard. I’m convinced of this: Dave and Eddie can’t be in the same room together unless Eddie has a beer or a guitar in his hands. Those are the two things that he has hidden behind for all of his life. When he has neither, and Roth is nearby, he goes temporarily insane.
1997-98…The search for the third singer in Eddie Van Halen’s band concludes with the announcement that ex-Extreme frontman Gary Cherrone has joined up. “Van Halen: The Broadway Show” begins.
1998…Van Halen III is released, and it tanks. No one wants to hear it. Most people have blocked it from their memories. But something MAJOR happens next: Warner Brothers Records gets pissed because VH III barely sells 500,000 copies.
2000…“Van Halen: The Broadway Show” goes back to 5150 to write and record the sequel (remember back…they had songs, titles and a name for the new album). Then all of a sudden, Gary is out! What the hell happened? Here’s what I think: Warner Brothers went to Eddie with an ultimatum…do another album with Dave, or get dropped from the label. They weren’t about to invest any time, money or promotion on another album that the fans would reject. And Eddie has enough money to start his own label, I’m sure, but the embarrassment from being dropped by WB would have been too much for any sober man to accept. So Eddie was backed into a corner.
Summer 2000…Dave is secretly writing and recording at 5150. Eddie is pretending like 25 years of hating David Lee Roth never happened. Everything was proceeding towards the biggest reunion album and tour of all time. Another MAJOR event happens: old band managers catch wind of the reunion and want their cut. The lawyers get involved and it’s not pretty. The issue of catalog royalties comes up. Tempers flare. Writing and recording stop because no-one wants to waste their time until the legal battles are hashed out. And Eddie and Dave end up sitting on a couch inside of 5150, just staring each other down for four months. One of them blinked, and I’m sure that it was Eddie. Dave was just getting used to being “Dave” again. He really wanted to do it. He needs the spotlight. Eddie needs a drink.
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